How do you keep going?

Tigger & pooh

We lost our baby at 20 wks on nov 30th. I feel like I am leading a double life since then. There is the outer me going about my day getting ready for holidays doing everything that is expected of a mom, wife, SIL, daughter.... So on. Then there is the inner me and over the past few days , week. I feel like I am drowning. I want to sleep and not talk to anyone, I don't want to make dinner, wrap presents, talk to anyone. How do I get past this? Will the kids notice if Santa doesn't wrap presents? Will my friends really be insulted if I just can't talk about their pregnancies right now? I know I never met my child and I wasnt a late loss but ugh I am Still struggling with it. Please, I hope I am not alone in this or being totally irrational. Anyone have advice on how to get through the next couple weeks?

WearingRed

Fake it for your kids but everyone else can suck it and you can be whatever you want. But no the kids won't notice or care if Santa doesn't wrap the gifts just find some bows and call it a day. That what I would do.

Tigger & pooh

I'm sorry I should mention I have 4 and 6 yr old boys.

magdalina.h

I'm so sorry for your loss. ditto previous poster and fake it for the kids and tell everyone else to shove it. Please feel free to post on the loss board. You did have a late loss.

Scooby2358

I'm so sorry for your loss. PPs have good advice. Also, do you have anyone IRL you can talk to without going through motions? You need to heal and this can be a tough time of year to deal with loss, since it seems like everyone else is super happy. You are not alone, or being irrational. Big ((hugs)).

Junebug060609

Do what you need to do to get by.  Like a PP suggested, do your best as a mom, but for the rest...they'll just have to deal.  Just be up front with your friends and tell them that although you are happy for them, pregnancy talk is (understandably) difficult for you right now.

I'm not a late loss momma, but at 20 weeks I believe you are.  The ladies on the Loss board are wonderful, I'd definitely suggest you check that board out.

bmv1980

I'm so sorry for your loss...big [[hugs]]. PPs all gave great advice...do what's right for you. Everyone can deal with it. Also, I don't know the technical definition of late loss, but 20 weeks isn't early. It doesn't even matter, it's painful, and no one should have to deal with it.

FWIW my friend doesn't wrap any Santa gifts! That's what they always do. I wish I'd have started that in our home earlier!

More [[[hugs]]]