PgAL CheckIn

Mrs Nice

Hello Ladies,

Welcome to Thursday PGAL CheckIn!

I hope I find you all well and positive this week! If you have any questions you would like answered, please don't be shy! You can also ask the PAL ladies. Bake, little buns, bake! :

How far along are you? What size fruit is your baby this week?

Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones?

QOTW: How will the holidays this year be different for you from last year?

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

blessedhope

nola78:

How far along are you? What size fruit is your baby this week?  I'm 20 weeks.  A cantaloupe, I think. 

Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones?  My loss milestone is on Monday (Christmas Eve).  I have another appointment tomorrow.  A/s last week showed that we were having a healthy baby girl. 

QOTW: How will the holidays this year be different for you from last year?  Very different!  DH is working over the holidays and with this pregnancy being such a mess, not having my son here, and my loss milestone being Christmas Eve, we just decided to cancel it altogether.  My parents are coming to spend Christmas day with me, but none of us are really in the holiday spirit right now.  Last year we were so hopeful and excited about the future.  Now I just feel cynical and sad.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Getting through my loss milestone and having this pregnancy continue.  I try not to think about the future too much, but it's hard not to.

((big, big hugs))

philfemgal

How far along are you? What size fruit is your baby this week?

26 weeks 6 days--1st day of the 3rd trimester.  I really can't believe we are here.

Baby is a lettuce become a rutabaga--not that I've ever seen a rutabaga in real life, so that's a pretty meaningless size comparison to me.

Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones?

We have another cervical check in a week.

QOTW: How will the holidays this year be different for you from last year?

It's strange that in a lot of ways it's like a repeat of last year--we are preparing for a baby.  There are tons of presents from family for the baby.  It's just it's a different baby this time and thank goodness, we are closer to the end of the pregnancy this time.  It's kind of surreal.  We have been trying hard to celebrate the holidays normally with the thought that this is our first (of many I hope) Christmas with Ada (even if she is still on the inside), but it's also our first Christmas without Alice. 

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Our 1 year loss milestone is also Jan 5th which is the weekend that my parents will be here.  Our plan is to try to get the house in shape for the baby, get nursery furniture, etc.  Part of me feels like it's wrong somehow to be preparing so much for Ada on the anniversary of when Alice was born/died.  I did insist that I can't do the elective ultrasound on that day and moved it to the next day.

philfemgal

nola, big hugs this week!

lrichmond86

How far along are you? What size fruit is your baby this week?

Today is 9 weeks 6 days. Baby's an olive.

Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones?

We had an appointment with the high risk doc this week.  I LOVE him!  He takes all the time in the world with us and really empathizes with us.  My favorite thing about him, though, is that he always remembers to remind us that what happened to baby Gary was a terrible stroke of luck and that we have no reason to believe that we will lose this baby.  Something about hearing it repeatedly makes it feel a little easier.

QOTW: How will the holidays this year be different for you from last year?

Last year baby Gary's funeral was the day before Christmas Eve, so as you can imagine Christmas was a pretty somber event.  We're doing the best we can to separate the two events this year.  We had a celebration for his birthday on Dec. 14, so hopefully we'll be able to get through Christmas as we would any other holiday.  it's still sad not having our little boy with us, though.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Every ache and pain (even the ones I know are normal) makes me flip my sh*t.  When DH got home from work last night I burst into tears because I had a touch of what we think is stomach bug and was having abdominal cramps.  All day today I was praying every time I sat down to pee that there wouldn't be any blood on the toilet paper.  I know I need to chill our, for me and baby both, but no amount of positive self-talk or rationalization seems to help.