Overwhelmed.

barbbhoww

The money.  The start up costs. $14,000 to sign and do home studies?  Then another $10k to place?  (in a nutshell)  The cost of outfitting my house for a baby I don't have in order to pass home studies?

We aren't rich people.  Our family isn't rich.  I'm scared to do fundraising for DIA.  

I'm so overwhelmed.  

 

Dr.Loretta

Are there other routes you can take? Are there agencies you can use that don't have such upfront costs? And I agree, why are you scared to do fundraising?

Deep breaths. You can do this. Let us help you brainstorm

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elissaann26

Dr.Loretta:

Deep breaths. You can do this. Let us help you brainstorm

This exactly!  This board has had some great success with fundraising, so definitely use us as a resource!  What are your concerns?  Do you have any ideas already?

One step at a time.   

kmb_nrb2010

It will all fall into place when it's meant to be. Take a deep breath, all is well. If you want some fundraising ideas, feel free to visit my blog & e-mail me there. I'd be more than happy to share what I've thought of!

orange1414

I know it can be overwhelming. Keep in mind that unless your house is under construction or otherwise unsafe, it's unlikely you'll have to do much to it to pass your homestudy. But yes, the rest of it is legitimately expensive.

CaptainSerious

orange1414:

I know it can be overwhelming. Keep in mind that unless your house is under construction or otherwise unsafe, it's unlikely you'll have to do much to it to pass your homestudy. But yes, the rest of it is legitimately expensive.

I was going to mention this, too.  Why do you think you have to spend a lot of money to get your home ready to pass a homestudy? You don't have to have a really nice home or even have a room ready for the baby for DIA.  All you have to show is that your home would be a safe environmnet for a child to grow up in.

Has someone told you you'll need to make a lot of changes?  If not, it sounds like you might have a lot of fears of what the costs might be without actually talking to an agency about their costs and expectations. Take a breath, and let's start from the beginning.

Have you spoken with an agency?  Actually call them and talk to them.  Sometimes information you find online is inaccurate or only half the story.  Only by talking with them will you get accurate prices and an understanding of what they expect from you.  Then you'll have the information to help you start planning how to meet those costs and expectations in a way and on a timeline you are comfortable with.

Good luck! 

maryoosa

Everything PP's have said, and granted, the cost is outrageous (and I'm never quite content with the breakdown of where the money goes).

 

So, call an agency, many of them have sliding scale fees, and many have way lower upfront charges. 

 

Our agency so far has been a reg. fee, a "homestudy fee" (really, a fee to send you paperwork since the SW doesn't meet with you until after all the paper work is done) and a "program fee" (it was 1800.00 for us).  Our next $$$$ isn't due until there is a match. And then another chunk  at placement.  Another chunk for post-placements and a chunk for our attorneys.

 

Also, what everyone else said about "passing the homestudy" we're going to show them our office and say "this will be the baby's room when there is a baby", and just buy a medicine lockbox, some window guards (we live on a 3rd floor with windows that start on the floor and are awfully scarily toddler sized (I learned when a 3 year old visited me yesterday), and some childproofing cabinet things. I'm estimating that's all under $200.00

crene84

If possible, as others suggested, maybe you could go a different route.  I know it varies state to state, agency to agency, and sounds like our attorney costs were wayy less than most girls would have on here, but we did DIA with an attorney (no agency) and the entire adoption was under $9,000.  Good luck!

barbbhoww

Thank you everybody.  The community here is unbelievable.

I have thought about a bingo night..at a VFW and having different places donate prizes.  So $30 to play or something and you can even win prizes!  It would be cheap to coordinate and could have a bake sale there..and such.

 

Bpmg

There are some great ideas on here - I dont have to much to add , I just wanted to say good luck. I have been completely overwhelmed for one reason or another at least 50 times in this process... one step at a time.