XP: sudden change in sleep (long)

monkey_pants

XPing here since maybe some of you have advice for sleep and an almost 2yr old.....

*****************************************

Hi all -- It's been a super long time since I've posted here, but I need a bit of advice.  My DD, 22 mos, has just had a significant change (for the worse) in her sleep habits and it literally happened overnight about 2.5 weeks ago. 

She's generally been a very good sleeper and learned at an early age how to soothe herself to sleep.  In the months leading up to this sudden change, she'd been sleeping approx 8p-8a with a 1.5-2hr nap.  We'd do her bedtime routine (bath, brush teeth and hair, diaper and jammies, a few books, nurse quickly although she's definitely heading towards weaning so it's been very very quick) and then she'd climb into her bed totally by choice, I'd tuck her in, kiss goodnight and walk out the door and she was fine!

Then suddenly a couple of weeks ago, she totally changed and now requires me to either rock her to sleep or else she'll climb into bed but I have to sit on the floor next to her bed and rub her back until she falls asleep.  If I leave the room before she's asleep, she climbs out of bed, heads to the door and screams bloody murder until I come back in.  Some nights (like tonight), I have to stay in her room for SO long while she winds down and chit-chats.  I was there over an hour and a half tonight, just alternating ignoring her and trying to coax her to go to sleep.  On top of now being afraid to be alone in her room at nap and bedtime (she really does seem scared), she's also been waking some nights.  Last night she woke three times, which is very unusual for her.  Several times over the past few weeks I've brought her into our bed early in the morning just so we can all get a few more hours of sleep rather than having to try to talk her back into bed for an hour.

She switched from crib to toddler bed about 2 mos ago but the transition was very easy and I don't think that's causing this. I've added a nightlight to her room.  I've tried talking to her about dreams in case that was the problem but she doesn't quite get it.  She is very averse to talking about sleep at the moment, and whenever it comes up, she just reminds me that bedtime is when I rub her back.  Also, she's been VERY clingy to me during the day lately, and at night she doesn't want anything to do with DH.  It's hard on me and upsetting for him that he can't comfort her.

I'm considering sleep training and am currently reading the NCSS for toddlers but I'm worried about any CIO methods with her as she really screams like crazy when truly worked up and will gag and vomit if I let her cry for more than a minute or so.  She understands so much at this age that I think crying would be a lot harder on both of us.  That being said, I'm open to any and all suggestions. 

NCMichelle

We went through that right around my DD's 2nd birthday.  It ended up just being temporary and after a few weeks, it passed.  Just stick to your routine.  Hang in there!

TiffanyBerry

Well, the words you use talk about her discovering fears and things that make her scared and sleep not feeling like a safe, comfortable place/time for her.  So, perhaps she's starting to experience fear (in a way that babies and young kids don't until a certain age, which is around this time) and beginning to have scary dreams.

Honestly, my daughter is going through something similar, though different in many ways because she's never slept throught the night, or come close to it.  But, for me, I'm treading very lightly on forcing her to be alone with her fears, even though she can't vocalize them or talk about them.  I just don't think it's going to achieve our goals or do anything helpful to her. 

But that's me, and I'm not one for CIO anyway, so take my advice with that in mind.

di0607

Preface: I'm posting from my phone and am lacking proper spacing and punctuation!

We dealt with this sort of thing with both kids... It is definately a phase and will probably get better in a few weeks. Does she watch tv at all? Our pedi suggested to eliminate all stimulation including tv, loud noise, any stories that she can perceive as scary for an hour before bed. Try turning the lights down lower and making things quiet and soothing. Does she have a lovey or toy that she sleeps with? Out of sheer desperation I would tell DS1 that it would protect him from anything scary but this could backfire as you are acknowledging that there is something scary in the room though. Hang in there it should get better very soon!

monkey_pants

Thanks everyone.  I'm glad to hear that it's likely just a phase, because right now I'm deep in the thick of it and I don't see how to get out.  Last night was better (less than 30 mins to get her to sleep, up at 2am but I just grabbed her and brought her into my bed) but tonight was worse again - it took over an hour and a half to get her to sleep and who knows when she'll be up.  By the time she was finally out tonight, I was so frustrated, bored and stressed.  Nothing about our nighttime routine has changed, and we've always been good at sticking to it.  She doesn't watch TV at all and we definitely try to keep things low-key after dinner. 

We're closing in on three weeks of this and I'm just so worried that it's all going to become habit and we'll never get out of this cycle

shaw

We've also been going through this.  Some days I am up for the day at 3am as my alarm goes off for work at 5.  You are not alone.  I've tried laying down with him while he falls asleep.  Worked great at first.  Then ended in him wanting to play and taking 3 hours to fall asleep.  At my wits end I started the super nanny technique of silent returns to bed.  First I started at 8...... Knowing it would take an hour at least to get him to bed.  I returned him to bed with no communication for an hour straight.....for about a week. Some night he still woke in the night.  Others he didn't!!! Now that the holidays are upon us, he's been staying up late until 9:30 or 10 visiting family.  He's gone strait to sleep with maybe 3 returns at most.  One night with 2 wake ups and some with zero!!,