Just need a safe place to vent/rant about holidays (sorry long)

2moms2b

I just need a safe place to vent for a moment so please excuse my long post and feel free to ignore it.  I feel my normal holiday cheer quickly slipping out the window.

I am on modified bed rest.  While I know this is not strict bed rest there are still limitation I am supposed to follow.  Not to mention this week my pulse rate when waking has been around 105 and simple tasks send it well over 115 and it takes forever to come down.  The only good news is my blood pressure is still holding around 122/70 so a little elevated but not terrible.  Also my doctor has asked we not be more than 1 hour from the Hospital (this one I am willing to push especially for holidays).

So this year we had planned to do Christmas Eve at M's brother's house as he is the one with kids (they get most the stuff so he doesn't have to transport it home), it's very close to our house so my travel is limited but most importantly M has to work until 5pm so she won't be home until around 6pm that night.   By doing it at M's brother's house we would be able to have dinner around 6:30 and be lounging to do the other festivities by 7:30 and have everyone there and not rushed.  This would leave us more time to spend with the family as we wouldn't need to leave until 11pm or so to go home.  We did this last year as both M and I had to work and it worked out great!

So today I get a phone call from M's mom and she let's me know that the plans have changed.  We are now doing it at M's Aunts house.  This would normally be totally fine as we do most family events there but as M has to work and her aunts house is over an hour away the best we could do is be there by 8 once we load the car and get out on the road.  This means we will only have two hours with her family before we have to pack up and head home not to mention probably not be there for dinner.

I would say we would just spend the night with her folks (5 minutes from her Aunts house) but that would triple the drive to my parents house the next day so we would have to leave around  6am to be there by 9am and I am not really sure I could handle a 3 hour car ride at this point.  I already called my parents to push back our arrival there by an hour so that we can maybe stay an extra hour at her family's side but now I feel bad as I am altering other set plans just to make this one work.  Plus never mind my doctor's instructions.

I don't want to talk to M about this as she already feels absolutely horrible that she is working Christmas Eve so we will be late and I don't want to add anymore stress to that.  I just feel like her Aunt pitched a fit as she didn't want to travel regardless of what is harder on anyone else (not just me but M's brothers and kids etc) so M's parents caved.  I will also say for the last two Christmas, her Aunt took trips out of the country instead of spending time with family so why it matters now that we come to her house, I don't know.  

I know we are incredibly lucky to have the support and love of both of our families so I hate to complain about stuff. like this  Sorry again for the vent but now I at least feel a little better getting that out.  At the end of the day I am going to put a smile on my face and enjoy the time with family.

If anyone else would like to vent about something/anything please feel free to do so!

Also if anyone made it this far this is for you!

 

  

JGY

Well I read it all the way, and thank you for the cookies - those look delicious! 

I'm sorry that things are getting turned upside down with your plans.  And it's true, things that normally wouldn't be a giant deal just do get magnified x1000 when you're pregnant.  And I'm only have 1 baby, not 2!

And while it IS important that we remain thankful for all the positives, and for the wonderful support that we are lucky enough to receive from our families, I too struggle sometimes with logistics and family dynamics.  It's nice to know that I'm not the only one that still has a hard time dealing with family, even when they are amazingly supportive and loving.

I hope you're able to relax and enjoy the time with family, no matter how long or short it turns out to be.  And I hope your car ride isn't miserable!

 

2moms2b

JGY:

Well I read it all the way, and thank you for the cookies - those look delicious! 

I'm sorry that things are getting turned upside down with your plans.  And it's true, things that normally wouldn't be a giant deal just do get magnified x1000 when you're pregnant.  And I'm only have 1 baby, not 2!

And while it IS important that we remain thankful for all the positives, and for the wonderful support that we are lucky enough to receive from our families, I too struggle sometimes with logistics and family dynamics.  It's nice to know that I'm not the only one that still has a hard time dealing with family, even when they are amazingly supportive and loving.

I hope you're able to relax and enjoy the time with family, no matter how long or short it turns out to be.  And I hope your car ride isn't miserable!

 

Thank you!  It is nice to know I am not the only one who struggles with this as well. 

madisonpeas

I just wanted to weigh in as one of the not-so-supported by family folks. And say that your vent is totally ok with me.  I can only speak for me, and I say vent if you need to vent.  And, more specifically, I am not pregnant with ANY babies and can imagine that last minute change would be hard.  Hope it all works out and that you get pampered.

trisholio

I have to say that a part of me understands what you are going through, even though I haven't been pregnant, especially with twins.  My wife's family lives 2 hours away.  We put our foot down early on that we would take turns with the family on the holidays.  We hosted Thanksgiving and had both of our parents at our house for the holiday, but we are splitting things up for Christmas.  We are spending Christmas day with my family and celebrating with her family the following weekend.  

I think it is a good idea to have your voice heard, in a respectful way. And set your own boundaries.  My family is infamous on trying to push me around, so I have learned to communicate effectively with them.  Sometimes they listen, others times not so much.

Best of luck to you!  Happy Holidays and New Year!!