Coffing?

HunB223

I'm ready in my cycle to start trying again soon but i have a question about being sick and coffing wile TTCing.  i have been coffing so hard that sometimes when we BD his sperm get pushed out of me.  Will any still make it?  And if I get preggers will it keep the baby from planting or will it push it out?  been trying reall hard to hold it in but its hard!

LilSip0611

Nice try, I'm calling MUD.

 

Chester84

Spelling.  It's coughing. ughh

Emily 2714

At first I thought "coffing" was a ttc term I hadn't heard of. Maybe it's a good thing the spermies squirt out. Just saying. 

femmepink

LilSip0611:

Nice try, I'm calling MUD.nbsp;

Terrible MUD.

HunB223

okay geez sorry i didnt spell checker before sending!

rayofsunshine99

TeAmoMiAmor

Mostly a lurker here, but I don't understand these posts. Do people just do it to get their post numbers up or because the board is slow or do they honestly think this is funny? Just curious.

JustWonderin805

Kimbac13

Emily 2714:

At first I thought "coffing" was a ttc term I hadn't heard of. Maybe it's a good thing the spermies squirt out. Just saying. 

 

Hahaha, thought the same thing and agree completely!

HunB223

Its not funny.?  I want to know if the baby will not attach because coughfing makes your belly tense up and it pushes out the sperm so i thought maybe it would push out the baby.

HunB223

Colerose that makes sense.  does it really work to put them back in?  I might have to try that.  If i dont get better soon.

JustWonderin805

ColeRose:

I am sorry to hear about all of the coffing.

1. Don't try to hold it your coffs, if you do you will end up pooping in your pants. If this happens during sex, it can really be a mood killer. This is real, and something you don't want to experience. Just let it out.

2. When coffing after your husband has ejaculated, just have him scoop up his swimmers with his hands that have been pushed out of you. You can then put them in a turkey baster and put them back where they belong.

3. Stay in bed, on your back, for the next 2 weeks. This is the only way to ensure that coffing will not prevent your baby from planting like a garden in your ute.

Maybe her H is into that?  

bubbasloveshak

ColeRose:

I am sorry to hear about all of the coffing.

1. Don't try to hold it your coffs, if you do you will end up pooping in your pants. If this happens during sex, it can really be a mood killer. This is real, and something you don't want to experience. Just let it out.

2. When coffing after your husband has ejaculated, just have him scoop up his swimmers with his hands that have been pushed out of you. You can then put them in a turkey baster and put them back where they belong.

3. Stay in bed, on your back, for the next 2 weeks. This is the only way to ensure that coffing will not prevent your baby from planting like a garden in your ute.

 

Thank You ColeRose (as I type on a keyboard covered in water I spit out) 

rayofsunshine99

HunB223:

Its not funny.?  I want to know if the baby will not attach because coughfing makes your belly tense up and it pushes out the sperm so i thought maybe it would push out the baby.

1. LOLZ. 

2.  There are no "f's" in coughing.  You should not need spell check for a word like cough, not to mention people gave you the correct spelling in this thread, more than once.  

3. If fertilization were to occur, the embryo (not baby) does not implant (not 'attach') until around 7-10 days past ovulation.  

Emily 2714

BrazilianPeach:

Just stick a cork up the vag when done.

There I fixed it!

lol, I think they sell "semen stay" corks at buy buy baby. 

TeAmoMiAmor

BrazilianPeach:

TeAmoMiAmor:

Mostly a lurker here, but I don't understand these posts. Do people just do it to get their post numbers up or because the board is slow or do they honestly think this is funny? Just curious.

I'm gonna go with boredom for 200, Alex. The board has been incredibly slow. 

Thanks, it was just obvioulsy fake, I didn't get it.

HunB223

its not lame or funny!  Colerose is the only person who is nice enough to help with my question.  why dont anyone want to help me?  Its just a question!

Chester84

BrazilianPeach:

Just stick a cork up the vag when done.

There I fixed it!

Or butt plug.   

JustWonderin805

BrazilianPeach:

Just stick a cork up the vag when done.

There I fixed it!

This made me think of the fisting thread. I'm going to bump that shiz up today.  

xxMiss2Mrs09xx

WTF!!???? What is coffing? Sorry, can't help you.... Speak English.

HunB223

woudnt that get pushed out too?  thats a good suggestion tho i will try it.

SCSmith2011

BrazilianPeach:

ColeRose:

HunB223:

woudnt that get pushed out too?  thats a good suggestion tho i will try it.

No just really shove it up there and change the cork every six hours.

And make sure it's a cork big enough to seal your vag completely!! You don't want it to get lost in you. Some honey around the edges should help seal it completely. 

And make sure it's a real cork. Those synthetic corks aren't sperm friendly.

bornmommy

HunB223:

okay geez sorry i didnt spell checker before sending!

 

I don't even know why I'm responding but I can't help it.  Damn you, grammar rules... 

You don't "spell checker."  You use the spell check. 

xxMiss2Mrs09xx

HunB223:

woudnt that get pushed out too?nbsp; thats a good suggestion tho i will try it.

You have got to be kidding me, right? Calling bs... Are you 12?

HunB223

Why is everyone so mean! I thought it was normal cause a lot of people get sick that are ttcing.  I thought someone else would know what to do. Im not 12 i just asked a question!!!!!

HunB223

yeah right super glue.  Thats just stupid.  I guess all you want to do here is make fun of people.  thank you to the ones who had good ideas.  I hope noone here has to go thru this themselves!!!!

artistlife

Will the cork work better than my BOB? That's how I keep the shiz up there.
Added benefit from a BOB...the vibration works like spasms after an orgasam. Vibrate those spermies into place.

LilSip0611

HunB223:

yeah right super glue.  Thats just stupid.  I guess all you want to do here is make fun of people.  thank you to the ones who had good ideas.  I hope noone here has to go thru this themselves!!!!

 

Here is my good idea for you. Go buy an anatomy book so you can see where your diaphragm is and that it isn't connected to your uterus and cervix. So your coughing won't do anything to push the spermies out. 

megaboosmom

My doctor told me to just pinch my vag closed with my fingers. Sometimes the baby batter comes out my nose or mouth, but that little bit of spillage won't hurt. Most of the sperm have died by the time they get past the colon anyway.

Adam&Eve2

ColeRose:

I am sorry to hear about all of the coffing.

1. Don't try to hold it your coffs, if you do you will end up pooping in your pants. If this happens during sex, it can really be a mood killer. This is real, and something you don't want to experience. Just let it out.

2. When coffing after your husband has ejaculated, just have him scoop up his swimmers with his hands that have been pushed out of you. You can then put them in a turkey baster and put them back where they belong.

3. Stay in bed, on your back, for the next 2 weeks. This is the only way to ensure that coffing will not prevent your baby from planting like a garden in your ute.

I agree with 1 and 2 but not 3. If she really wants to get the sperm to stay in she needs to stand on her head after sex. I also like Peach's idea about a cork. Between both of those OP should be set! 

Edit: extra letter. 

JustWonderin805

Slapptastic:

HunB223:

yeah right super glue.  Thats just stupid.  I guess all you want to do here is make fun of people.  thank you to the ones who had good ideas.  I hope noone here has to go thru this themselves!!!!

If coughing caused you to not get pregnant, then don't you think that they'd market a 'cough' method instead of BCPs or condoms to those that aren't looking to get pregnant...?  Come on now.

The "cough and pray" method. Works every time.  

HunB223

So your saying that it won't let me not get pregnant this month.  Sheesh you could have just said that in the first place!  How was I supposed to know!  Thats why I came and asked!!!

Adam&Eve2

JustWonderin805:

The "cough and pray" method. Works every time.  

Giggle snort 

CharmedBAcMF

Am I the only one that thought of coffins when they read the title? That maybe OP may have a necrophilia problem or something. Nobody? Damn.

::slinks away with head down in shame:::

=P

runningpenguin

HunB223:

So your saying that it won't let me not get pregnant this month.  Sheesh you could have just said that in the first place!  How was I supposed to know!  Thats why I came and asked!!!

Ding ding ding we have a winner!

Adam&Eve2

HunB223:

So your saying that it won't let me not get pregnant this month.  Sheesh you could have just said that in the first place!  How was I supposed to know!  Thats why I came and asked!!!

You don't know my LYFE!!!!!!! 

golfingdarwinfish

HunB223:

So your saying that it won't let me not get pregnant this month.  Sheesh you could have just said that in the first place!  How was I supposed to know!  Thats why I came and asked!!!

 If you have a cough caused by bacteria, the bacteria rush down to your ovaries and immediately take all your eggs hostage.  If you have a virus the virus burrows deep inside the eggs and turns them into zombie eggs.  If you're comfortable negotiating with bacteria terrorists or zombie eggs, go for it!  

CharmedBAcMF

VCGolfNYC:

HunB223:

So your saying that it won't let me not get pregnant this month.  Sheesh you could have just said that in the first place!  How was I supposed to know!  Thats why I came and asked!!!

 If you have a cough caused by bacteria, the bacteria rush down to your ovaries and immediately take all your eggs hostage.  If you have a virus the virus burrows deep inside the eggs and turns them into zombie eggs.  If you're comfortable negotiating with bacteria terrorists or zombie eggs, go for it!  

The umbrella corporation would gladly pay high dollars for zombie eggs.  Alice might try and hunt you down though. You have been warned.

kje120

HunB223:

its not lame or funny!  Colerose is the only person who is nice enough to help with my question.  why dont anyone want to help me?  Its just a question!

Give up already. No one believes that this is a real question. 

runningpenguin

VCGolfNYC:

HunB223:

So your saying that it won't let me not get pregnant this month.  Sheesh you could have just said that in the first place!  How was I supposed to know!  Thats why I came and asked!!!

 If you have a cough caused by bacteria, the bacteria rush down to your ovaries and immediately take all your eggs hostage.  If you have a virus the virus burrows deep inside the eggs and turns them into zombie eggs.  If you're comfortable negotiating with bacteria terrorists or zombie eggs, go for it!  

 LOL! Oh the mental images. Priceless!