ferber support please!

b55c

Dd has never been a great sleeper but has always pulled herself out of her slumps. Not this time. She's been getting more and more difficult since halloween. At this point, I'm feeling pretty positive that she's just working us and that nothing is medically wrong so we're attempting ferber over my winter break from school. She's a very stubborn child and I'm nervous! It's all falling on me bc of issues w my dh's schedule. I'm scared about hours and hours of crying and it not paying off. Anyone have words of support or a 'it wasn't easy but it worked' story??

Steph_whalen5@yahoo.com

We used Ferber around 7 months for DD.  I'll definitely say it wasn't easy, but it worked and it took less than a week for us.  We chose to cut night feelings and deal with nap times all at the same time.  The first night was crappy, the second was worse, but by the third it was much better.  I would definitely say to chart like they mention in the book, so you can really see the improvement.  Staying as far away from her room (downstairs with the TV on) helped me keep the nerves down a little bit.  My main thing would be to not give up! You can totally do it - and it will be to the benefit of everyone . HTH! GL!!

quietlyexpecting

Consistency!  8-)  The checkins didnt' work with us so we just made sure she was tired, fed and dry before starting this around 6 months.  We have had to revisit it a couple times after colds, ear infections and other disruptions but consistency is key.  GL! 

patchen30

I would just say it'll change your life and just remember that it's for the best for your family and for your child that she learns to sleep.  And when she protest cries just tell yourself that this is only one of many times when you'll have to tell her NO b/c you know what's best for her, not her.  Be strong, don't give in, b/c you'll be so glad afterwards and if you do give in it'll just make it worse.  And, it's usually not nearly as bad as you're imagining.

Linz-E

We moved this summer and after a month of coddling DD and doing everything to get her to sleep in her new room I did it. It sucks when theyre older. She was sweating, shivering from crying so hard, and gagging herself. First night was two hours, second night 40 minutes. I went in every 5, 10, 15 then every half hour to reassure her kiss her hug her and tuck her back in. Shes been STTN in her own room since. GL. It sucks when youre doing it but you both need sleep. 

ladybugpjb

I did Ferber around 6.5 months when it was just me and DS. (I was staying with my parents, DH was deployed, and parents were out of town.) I say I did a "modified" version - I went by the suggested intervals to go check on him, but by the time we'd been going for 30 minutes, I wasn't comfortable with how hard he was crying. I picked him up, calmed him down, and then put him back to bed. I'd have to go find my chart to see how long it took - I really don't remember. I believe on the first couple of nights, it was about an hour of crying with two pick ups. (DS is also very stubborn.) In my memory, though, it didn't take that many nights. After a couple of nights, I didn't go by set intervals, just by what felt right.

I listened to him cry - I wanted to know if the cry type changed and he needed something. That's why I ended up soothing him - he changed to the "I'm so upset, I can't calm down" cry. I went by instinct, and instinct told me not to let him get to the point of throwing up, gagging, etc.

By Ferber's recommendation, I went by the latest time he consistently went to sleep. Luckily, I'd been keeping a log. Within a week, I could tell that he actually needed to go to bed about an hour earlier.

Naps took us longer because I stink at schedules - I finally figured out his optimal nap times (10am, 2pm, and a brief evening nap if needed) and tried to stick with those.

By the time I did Ferber, DS was STTN, and I rarely had to deal with a night wake up, so no advice there.

Make sure you're familiar with her tiredness cues. Make sure she has what she needs before you put her down. Make sure you put her down at a time when you know she can fall asleep, even if it's later than you like. Go with your instincts on what she needs. Every child is different, and I don't think it would have worked for us if I hadn't "broken the rules" and soothed DS the first couple of nights. He's a really good sleeper now...well, not right now since we are travelling and crossing time zones, etc.

Edenkelli

I signed up for The Bump just to respond to this. I tried the Ferber method and I wasn't able to do it. In fact, I think by the third night, things were not better so I stopped. I am a big rule follower, wasnt cutting any corners and was timing the intervals on my Iphone exactly...even timing the short visits. The thing that I think isn't stressed enough is making sure that the sleep schedule you are currently using is appropriate for your baby. I prefer the book " Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". It helped me better understand appropriate sleep schedules and biologically helpful sleep times and doesn't make you stick to one method to make changes. Timing is everything and this book gave me the confidence to find the right times for my son. The title is so true, "happy child"! I know when our schedule isn't appropriate based on his personality. It breaks my heart when I see my friends kids bouncing off the walls and hear them telling stories of meltdowns. They think it is so normal and it isn't!!! I tell them about this book but they don't want to read it, they want me to tell them about it. You don't get it until you read it...most of it!! Much of brain growth happens in sleep and I swear my son is smarter due to this book! I could keep going but I'll get off my soapbox. Good luck!

EDWHIP

I don't remember many details about our Ferber experience other than the fact that it worked really well.  We endured so many sleepless nights because I didn't want to do CIO, which is a crock.  Ferber is so much more than CIO.  It took us three nights for her to STTN and that was when she was 6 or 7 months.  We haven't had a problem since.  One thing I will say is make sure you read the whole book.

 

Good luck! 

raeski2008

We didn't follow ferber exactly, but we followed pretty close and it did wonders. We did it at around 4 or 5 months and again at 11ish months I think (when we dropped her night feedings completely). I am soooo happy we did it. Once you get past the initial tough stuff (crying etc.) it gets so much easier so fast.