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October 2011 Moms
Scramblersmom
member
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What are you stressing/anxious about?
Scramblersmom
member
(Mobile: What are you stressing/anxious about?)
I saw an article in a magazine in regard to this so I thought I would pose the same question here to see what Bumpies had to say. In brief, the article was about Moms having a ton of stress and/or anxiety over things that others may not give a second thought to (such as 12/21/12). Some of the responses she shared were interesting. So tell me...
What are you stressing/anxious about lately?
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Re: What are you stressing/anxious about?
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WOW. That was crazy fast. Our house has been on the market since August. I'm stressed out that we've had no offers. And it sucks trying to keep the house clean for showings all the time.
Also, Gavin has a fever of 104. On top of that, I don't know how me and MH can stay home with him anymore. I've been put on corrective action at work for calling out too many times (either me being sick or Gavin which happens a lot) and MH has already called out 3 times this month (he hurt his back once, and how Gavin's had two fever-y illnesses where he can't go to daycare). MH is home with him today. We have no family close by, our friends and neighbors all work. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do! He's not gonna be able to go to school tomorrow either. I will have to try to talk to my boss this afternoon but she hasn't been very accomodating. I'm afraid I will get fired.
DS born Oct. '11
TTC #2 with PCOS since Nov. '13
Dx: Low Progesterone (3.3) on 8/12/14
Waiting for RE appointment on 10/28/14
Surprise BFP on cycle 12 -- 10/19/14!
EDD July 1, 2015
My stress lies in a few things. I don't know how long we will be able to afford me staying home with Nora, and there is nothing in the way of work in this area. I also find my level of education will become irrelevant when I do reenter the workforce. I'm stressed that North Korea isn't being taken seriously enough and will release a chemical or biological warfare.
That's really awesome for you though. I hope things work out. I realized my first response sounded a little "no fair boo hoo" and I didn't mean it that way!
And thanks for the sympathy about work/Gavin... I like my boss, it's just that I guess she feels she has to enforce attendance policies equally with everyone. She always tells me I should have another plan for when Gavin gets sick, but we have no one else! Gah. It's really frustrating to me. They won't even accept notes that I get from Gavin's doctor to prove that he was sick.
DS born Oct. '11
TTC #2 with PCOS since Nov. '13
Dx: Low Progesterone (3.3) on 8/12/14
Waiting for RE appointment on 10/28/14
Surprise BFP on cycle 12 -- 10/19/14!
EDD July 1, 2015
Finishing grad school by ohhhh...tomorrow. I only have a few things left to do, but I am procrastinating big time. (Hence being on the Bump instead of finishing my weekly logs and a paper I need to write.)
I was pretty nervous/anxious last week when there were rumors of a student bringing a gun to school on Friday for the "end of the world." (This was before Newtown.) For some reason I am less anxious about it this week, but it could be because I know I need to stay calm for my students.
BFP #1 - 11/16/10 CP 12/1/10
Our team green turned into team pink!
BFP #2 17dpo - 47, 19dpo - 114 Chart
I have given no thought to 12/21/12 until this week. I don't actual think anything will happen but I get a little anxious thinking about, mostly snarky what if scenerios in my head. I want to know the expected sequences of events-like is the world going to end at the beginning of the day or the end bc I would hate to be at work during it.
Seriosuly though I constantly worry about DS. I have a very real fear of getting a call from the daycare that something happened-it was really bad when he was an infant. I was scared to get the SIDS call.
4 Clomid cycles BFN's,3 injectible cycles BFN, 3 failed IUI's
Hystroscopy to remove cysts 11/2010
IVF #1 with ICSI Graydon Dane born Oct. 23, 2011 via c-section at 38 weeks.
Surprise BFP 10/9/12. Blighted ovum at 8wks. D&C 11/1/12.
Surprise BFP#2 TWINS!!! Boy/Girl twins.
A few things,
We want to put our house up for sale come spring, but when I look at the house and the amount of cleaning, organizing and fixing that goes into it I get crazy anxious. I found a list on pinterest of the 40 areas of your house to declutter. I feel like if I can get a few done a week, then it won't be such a big deal once spring rolls around.
This is probably irrational, but I sometimes feel that I'm not providing well enough for DS. I work part-time, but feel mostly like a SAHM (I work a few evenings a week). DS has had a few bad falls on my watch. He is an adventurous climber and had two falls ending in big goose eggs on his head. Nothing that required a trip to the doc, but still scary for mom. DS insists that "he's a boy, falls will happen." Motherhood in general is stressful!
Would your husband be down with therapy? It sounds like maybe it would be a needed option for your kids, your marriage and especially, yourself.
Good, I hope it helps you, because stress like that will do no one any good. If your insurance doesn't cover it, check with your state's human services department. They can give you an idea of state funded mental health facilities with therapists you could see.
I am anxious about finding a preschool for DD. I love the women who takes care of her now, but she doesn't do much in the way of education and there is only one other younger baby there currently. I keep looking for preschools in the area that have before and after care that we can afford and that list is really short and all the waiting lists are really long. I want DD to start when she is 2-2.5. It is ridiculous that I am stressed now, but I am.
I am also stressed that something is going to go wrong with the house that we wont be able to afford to fix. Our water heater and house heater are old, the roof is nearing its end and our bathroom is showing its age. I am afraid that everything is going to go at once.
I'm nervous about preschool, too. There are only two in this town. One is not that great, and the other is a Christian preschool. I may take her to another town that has one similar to a Montessori.
I'm fairly positive he only stresses about his fantasy football team.
I feel like with the shootings, Its going to cause an unhealthy level of anxiety in me. I'm a SAHM so I really don't leave A that often with other people and when I do, it's with DH or my mom. Now I can't help but think every time I leave him it's the last time I will see him and I'm obsessing over that.
DS2's size. A was growth restricted so I was induced a month early. He was very healthy but small and we had some of the typical late preemie issues. I had a growth scan for this baby last week and he is in the 32 percent. He was in the 47th at 19 weeks so the drop concerns me. My OB was happy and said he looked great and I completely trust her.. But.. I'm worried that he will continue to drop to where growth becomes an issue. I know there could be so many other issues wrong and I'm so thankful he's healthy, but I really really would like for him to be full term and ready to come out. Of course my main reasons are for his health but if I'm being honest, a part of it goes back to wanting to make sure we are in the new house.
Whew, I feel a little better now!
During this time of year I find myself stressing out about ridiculous things that i'm not really stressed about as an outlet for my real stress.
For example: I am currently stressing out that I don't know if I will make it to a particular restaurant to purchase cocktail sauce before they sell out. I just came up with the idea to buy some..just for fun. What I'm really stressed out about is that we are TTC (in the 2WW) and it's been challenging and I'm freaked out about many scenarios.
Honestly, I am stressed out about Friday. Not so much that the whole world will end, because it is what it is if it does. But, more the fact that I fear the idiots and their actions on "doomsday".
Thank you Spicy for your offer to help and everyone else who offered kind words.
MattandBekah -- Anxiety really sucks and I had to go on meds for it for the first time a few months ago. They are helping. Seems like a lot of us on this board deal with it. I'm here if you ever want to talk!
Spicy - I'm truly sorry about your husband troubles. We aren't doing so stellar here either.
Whoever made the comments about our husbands not stressing was so right. Jerks.
DS born Oct. '11
TTC #2 with PCOS since Nov. '13
Dx: Low Progesterone (3.3) on 8/12/14
Waiting for RE appointment on 10/28/14
Surprise BFP on cycle 12 -- 10/19/14!
EDD July 1, 2015
Wow! It is so nice that I am not alone and many of you have posted things that are exactly what I would say.
Colleen: Good luck on your move! I do not think that our DH's stress about anything unless it is something in the moment. My DH just looks at me like I am nuts when I tell him everything on my mind.
Nittany: I hope Gavin is better soon and that his fever comes down. I am so frustrated that there isn't better support for working mothers to take care of their kids when they are sick. We can't drop them off at daycare so of course we have to stay home with them. The threat of losing one's job for taking care of their LO just disgusts me. The "back-up plan" is absurd. Not everyone has resources such as retired or friends that are SAHMs nearby. Even if we did, do those people really want someone else's sick kid's germs?
Colleen: The grad school thing is the same thing I am going through. I pretty much would have Dr in front of my name if I could just finish those last couple of chapters!
MattandBekah: My stress and anxiety has come to a head over the last 2 weeks. I have a nice Rx to pick up this afternoon to help with that. Hope you can get some relief.
Diego: I was especially terrified that my baby would die of SIDS at daycare and I am always scared when they have called. Luckily it has always been minor. I just wanted to let you know that I share the same anxiety.
Spicy: I agree with Missy that you should try to get some counseling if you can; either alone or with your husband. It is really sounding like he needs to understand you better and step up to the plate. You will really need support when the 2nd kiddo arrives. Lots of hugs to you and I hope things improve very soon.
Besides the things that I responded to above that were very applicable to me I have also been freaked out about these things:
1.) Getting into an accident while DS is in the car. I am originally from CA so I used to drive crazy but now that I have DS I drive like a Granny and get so freaked out when anyone is tailgating, driving too fast, etc.
2.) I was always so terrified of anything happening to DS ever but after last week I am even more terrified. I already talk to DH that I am scared about DS moving far away from me when he is older, him driving and possibly getting in a wreck, and anything else that comes to mind. DH just looks at me like I am nuts!
3.) My Dr put me back on BCP to get AF under control. The issue is that it is contraindicated for me since I just turned 40 and I am still smoking. I am constantly freaked out that I will have a stroke, a pulmonary embolism, a heart attack, etc. which increases my anxiety which then makes me smoke more. I then become terrified about what would happen to DS if I keeled over because I do not trust anyone to give him the exact proper care he needs (like I do
). It is a vicious circle. I am hoping that the new prescription will calm me enough to make an effort to quit smoking and just get my anxiety under control.
I could post so much more but I think l these are the main things.
I hear you on that (your first paragraph)! I am completely a "Type A" and try to do everything always and to be everything to everyone. I am really working on letting things go and deciding what is truly important and what isn't. It is a daily struggle. I try to remind myself too that things will get a bit easier in some ways when DS is a bit older and doesn't need to be watched 100% of the time while I try to cook, clean, pay bills, take care of the pets, do laundry, etc. In the meantime I am trying to eliminate a lot of the stressors and unimportant things in my life. For example, our tree is only partially decorated and I decided it was "good enough" for this year. The house hasn't been cleaned since December 2nd and it still looks OK. It is the best I can do right now.
I never went to the gyno until I got pregnant. Bad, I know! I was 27 years old. Doctors freak me out and I avoid going at all costs. I had a full exam when I was 8 weeks pregnant at my first OB/GYN appointment. My pap came back "abnormal". After Gator was born, she did another pap at 6 weeks postpartum. She said she had to get more cells and it would be a little more uncomfortable. Holy hell did it hurt! Got the results back and they were "inconclusive".
So now I go back tomorrow. I had posted about it a few months ago asking if anyone else had a "1 year post partum check" because that is what they called it over the phone when they called me. Well now I know it's another pap. I just want them to get some results other than the ones we have been getting.
Are there any childcare centers that have a sick room? At the one I once worked at, we had a room designated for sick kids so their parents could get back to work. There was usually only one kid in there, but they assigned one teacher and that teache couldn't go into any other classroom so the germs wouldn't spread. Usually the room was kept semi dark and the kids did little art projects, watched movies, etc....just did everything low key and depending on how the kid was feeling. You paid an extra 15 dollars a month towards childcare to have access to that room. Most parents had backup and didn't use it, but sometimes we would get a call that a kid was coming in. And sometimes those kids were from a different center.
This exactly.
I'm also nervous about starting my new job in January. I'm not exactly an expert in the area I'm diving into. I'm also worried about illnesses. I don't want to have to take time off from my new job, at least not right away. I'm really worried that E is going to end up with a fever and get booted out of daycare on my first day back.