19 mos, still not STTN!! Help!

sarahns80

I am still BFing DS to sleep which I'm sure has something to do with it but it is soo hard to get him to sleep without that. A good night he will only wake up once from 8p7a. A bad night he will wake up 4 or 5 times! Sometimes I he wakes up at 4:30 or 5am he will not go back to sleep! That's what happened this morning. I've been up since 4:45! I tried for 30 min to rock him back to sleep then he woke up when I put him down so I let him cry and he cried for almost an hour and I finally went and got him. We let him cry sometimes but he will cry for so long then most times he will just wake up 2 hours later if he does cry himself to sleep. Is 19 mos to late to CIO? It doesn't seem to work. I'm a zombie! Help!

sarahns80

We did Ferber at 7 mos and it worked for a while but he had a lot of ear infections and I would not let him cry with that so it messed it up. So then around 14 mos we realized he hasn't had an ear infection in a while and we did Ferber again but the check ins were upsetting him like yours so we just did CIO and that worked for a while until he got a cold or his molars and he would start waking up again. I just can't let him cry when he's sick and he's had so many colds. Anyways I don't mind him waking up once a night, his diaper usually needs changing too. So I will go in once but then if he wakes up again I know he's fine so I will let him cry sometimes. So yeah I'm not consistent as far as never going in but it's so hard to let him cry all night and never go in. I feel like if he knows how to put himself to sleep then he eventually will do it all the time. Is that true though? Do they just eventually start STTN even if you dont sleep train consistently?

Winomama

Read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It emphasizes having routines for your child's nap and sleep schedule, and consistency. Sounds like you are putting LO down too late at night, and that is what is not letting him sleep well at night. DS is asleep by 6:30. Before then, we'd put him down at 7:30, and he was up multiple times per night.

amina7884

I agree that 8:00pm may be too late of a bedtime...

We have always had a consistent bedtime routine (bath, story, rock to sleep or lay next to) and then bed around 8-8:30pm. While we were doing this, they would wake up multiple times every night. It was probably because they were overtired and also because I was still giving them a bottle of whole milk at least once a night (I know, "bad bad bad" Lol). I would usually go into their room when one cried and bring him or her to our bed because I didn't want the other one to wake up.

I didn't think there was anything wrong with rocking them to sleep and I didn't mind giving them a bottle so we could all go back to sleep. But now I see that the later bedtime, rocking, and milk was interfering with them learning to put themselves back to sleep and getting a good night sleep over all.

They just turned 18 months old and now we finish our routine (minus the rocking) and I put them each in their crib, say "goodnight I love you" and walk out leaving the door open a crack. The first few times was hard and they cried pretty hard. Now they may whimper a little bit but they are asleep within 5 to 10 min. AND they STTN Finally! At times I hear one or both wake up but they are able to fall asleep on their own. Unless there is an extremely soaked diaper or someone has a bad cold or is teething, they sleep until about 7:30-8:00am.

I have to thank DH because he finally said enough is enough and the first few nights, he took charge. It has really helped and I have waited so long for this! 

Hang in there! U may have to adjust bedtime or try a new method but there's hope! Good luck!

quietlyexpecting

Just a little thing to think about...

I remember reading in a Ferber Book that if they fall asleep in your arms...nursing...being rocked...whatever...and then wake up in a different location, like their crib,  it is confusing and scary to them.  They then wake up and cry for you to be comforted back to sleep and the cycle continues.  

 I tried Ferber at about 6 months (she is 15 months now and has been sleeping through the night since about 5 months on occasion and pretty consistently since we did CIO) and it seemed to just make my daughter more worked up.  WE had to do straight CIO.  I always make sure she is full, dry and tired.  It worked in a couple days.  

We occasionally have hiccups along the way and have to work at letting her figure out how to fall asleep again.  Hence we revert back to CIO.  This doesn't happen often but she just got over an ear infection and we're having to get her back to falling asleep on her own.  

 Maybe try making sure he's getting more calories during the day too so it isn't food he is waking for.  

 GL with whatever you decide.  These things are such a personal choice but remember that consistency is key.  THere is no right or wrong answer...just what works for you.  

JgButtahz

sarahns80:

I am still BFing DS to sleep which I'm sure has something to do with it but it is soo hard to get him to sleep without that. A good night he will only wake up once from 8p7a. A bad night he will wake up 4 or 5 times! Sometimes I he wakes up at 4:30 or 5am he will not go back to sleep! That's what happened this morning. I've been up since 4:45! I tried for 30 min to rock him back to sleep then he woke up when I put him down so I let him cry and he cried for almost an hour and I finally went and got him. We let him cry sometimes but he will cry for so long then most times he will just wake up 2 hours later if he does cry himself to sleep. Is 19 mos to late to CIO? It doesn't seem to work. I'm a zombie! Help!

 

SERIOUSLY?! You let your child cry for AN HOUR before getting him?! I honestly understand letting your child cry for 5-10 minutes..but an HOUR..he probably thinks your a monster and don't care about his feelings at bed time. People who do this get NO respect from me..

sarahns80

JgButtahz:

sarahns80:

I am still BFing DS to sleep which I'm sure has something to do with it but it is soo hard to get him to sleep without that. A good night he will only wake up once from 8p7a. A bad night he will wake up 4 or 5 times! Sometimes I he wakes up at 4:30 or 5am he will not go back to sleep! That's what happened this morning. I've been up since 4:45! I tried for 30 min to rock him back to sleep then he woke up when I put him down so I let him cry and he cried for almost an hour and I finally went and got him. We let him cry sometimes but he will cry for so long then most times he will just wake up 2 hours later if he does cry himself to sleep. Is 19 mos to late to CIO? It doesn't seem to work. I'm a zombie! Help!

 

SERIOUSLY?! You let your child cry for AN HOUR before getting him?! I honestly understand letting your child cry for 5-10 minutes..but an HOUR..he probably thinks your a monster and don't care about his feelings at bed time. People who do this get NO respect from me..

Anyone that has done sleep training knows that the 1st day can be an hour of crying then it gets better each day. My DD cried almost an hour the 1st night, 30 min the 2nd night, then 15, then 1, then none both times we sleep trained. That being said, I said it was almost an hour, probably 45 min and it was on and off mostly whining for mama. Most days I am not sleep training and get him within 1 min. You obviously have not read Ferber or any books on sleep training.

JgButtahz

No, I havent and I choose not to, because that is torture. Would YOU want to be left alone to cry/scream/fuss for an hour? I know I wouldnt..so why would you subject your baby/toddler to it? Im a working mom..and his dad works too..guess what, we do just fine rocking him to sleep and checking him if he wakes up..

JgButtahz

Look, I understand letting your child cry for 5/10 minutes then going to check on him/her.. but an hour, no. How can you even bear with that as a mother? Where are your motherly instincts? And yes I still stand by that what shes doing is torture. She may not be beating her kid, but shes telling him "I am not here for you even though you are upset"