DS hates DH :-(

jaymiegerard

It's been like this for a while, but has gotten worse and worse.  Everytime DH comes home from work, DS runs screaming.  He stands and "yells" at my husband as if to say, "You're not welcome here!"  He wont let my husband change his diapers, feed him, or even play with him most of the time.

If I hug DH, DS screams.  If I touch DH's leg, DS climbs between us, crying.

My husband feels HORRIBLE and rejected, and I just don't know what to do about it.  Anyone else experiencing this?  Anything help?  

Thanks

ASmallWonder

Do your DS and DH spend any time together when you're not there?  A lot of times it's less that they don't like one parent and more that they're very attached to the other, kwim?  I'd make a plan to go out for an afternoon and leave them home to play.

jc&cat

Do they do anything special together 1-1? DS loves special "Mommy and DS" time or "Daddy and DS" time, even if it's a trip to the park or supermarket together. I realize your DS is closer to my DD's age but we're trying to do the same kind of time sharing. Even getting down on DS's level to play blocks, toys, trains, etc that he is interested may help with a bond.

The other thing I can think of......my DD is horrified of my 2 brothers b/c of facial hair. There is a doc at the pedi office that they know NOT to ever schedule her with b/c he has a full beard. Could it be recent facial hair addition or maybe he usually wears contacts and is wearing glasses now? Might sound small but it could have impact.

I hope it's just a phase for you guys!

simpson04

we are going through the same thing. My DD only wants me, everytime my H gets near her or trys to pick her up if shes near me she freaks. She cant stand him hugging on me or laying near me she starts to cry and trys to pull him off of me. I feel bad and hes starting to feel she will never want him but they have time alone and he trys to play with her but shes not having it if im around. she went all day saturday with him but when they got home she only wanted me and nothing to do with him. I hope its just a phase beacuse its starting to get bad and hurt his feelings even when he knows shes only 1.

M&M227

DD prefers me and will interact with DH and even gets excited to see him, but will still freak if I leave the room.  I try and give them alone time when I'm not home so she gets used to him.

Netty_3

M&M227:

DD prefers me and will interact with DH and even gets excited to see him, but will still freak if I leave the room.  I try and give them alone time when I'm not home so she gets used to him.

This is how it is in our house too. I'm preferred, but he'll go with DH and loves him.

I think the PPabout possible small physical changes in your husband...and that some Father-son time is needed.  I know my DH tends to come home and just watch tv and takes teh lazy approach of playing or plays video games instead of getting down to his level and really playing with him like I do...so maybe he needs to get more involved. 

JennyDub

This is exactly what happens at my house. DD is 20 months and she will hit DH and yell "no!" and "go!"  I am working full time and DD is in daycare so it isn't like she is with me all the time. I have done some reading lately about "spirited children" as DD has always been a bit spirited.  This book talks about transitions and how they can be difficult for kids.  Something as simple as Daddy coming home from work is a transition and we can help by finding ways to make it less jarring. So, when I pick her up from daycare we start talking about Daddy and how he will be home to read her a book after bath etc.  I think it is helping as she knows when she'll see him and she can mentally prepare. Other transitions we're working on is going from breakfast to getting out the door.  At breakfast we talk about what we are doing next (by talk I mean I tell her) and what the day has in store. It has made getting boots/jacket on and out the door much easier. I agree with other people too that alone time with Daddy is a good idea - my DD is better with him when I am not home.

brewcitybride

Pretty normal - my DD went through this around this age. First she didn't want me to have anything to do with her and that hurt, but I just knew it wasn't personal, it's a phase. Then she didn't want DH for just as long of a time, so it all evened out:)

jaymiegerard

Thanks everyone.  It's nice to hear we aren't the only ones in that boat.  DS spends 1-2 hours a few days a week alone with DH.  My husband says it goes pretty well, but if DS sees a picture of me in the house, he'll point to it, cry and say "ma ma ma ma ma" until I get home.

DH is a GREAT dad.  Really tries to be involved, and actively plays with DS.  I think the problem is he's not as attuned to DS as I am.  DS is really sensitive, and things overwhelm him.  Even though he has fun playing with his daddy, i think he gets overwhelmed and DH doesn't pick up on it (fast enough), so DS ends up melting down.

I hope it's a phase (I'm sure it us, but it seems so endless in the middle of it).  I also hope to get DH more involved with the baby we have on the way, so that maybe the next one won't be so exclusively attached to me.