I don't know if I'm ready

Orange and Green

My cousin, who is like my little sister, will be staying with us Dec 26th for a week (in June she moved out of state).  I lost a pregnancy in Feb and was due 1 month after her.  I quickly got pregnant again and Emmeline was due Mar 5th.  Her daughter, Caroline is almost 4 months now.  She was going to stay with us for Thanksgiving, but we decided that would be too painful for all of us.  My breasts were still engorged and she was having a horrible time breastfeeding (Caroline was loosing weight; at 3 months she weighed less than at birth).  So that would have been awkward for all of us.  I still don't know if I'm ready for my cousin and her precious daughter.  I'm worried about how painful it will be to hold Caroline, to hear her cry at night, hear her coo and giggle.  How long was it until you were able to handle a baby?

fluttergirlmoonchild79

I'm over a year out and I've only held 1 baby - and there's a long story behind why I did - and I bawled the entire time.  I'm just now getting to the point where I can semi-sorta look at pictures of other people's babies on FB (yesterday was not one of those days).  I wouldn't personally be able to handle it but everyone is different.  Whatever your decision is the right one for you.