Needing a little confidence

chels0120

Hi ladies! Let me first just say THANK YOU to all of you that post on here. This board has been a source of so much information and motivation and I appreciate it so much!

So here is the deal... I have a 3 1/2 year old little boy and DH and I are trying for baby #2. When I had DS I had an INCREDIBLE OB that I trusted and she was COMPLETELY on board with me doing a natural birth at the hospital. I was the most comfortable with this because I had a very hard pregnancy and DH wasn't nearly as involved or supportive as he is now. I felt kinda on my own throughout the entire thing because he was clueless. HAHA It was frustrating then but I'm over it and he really wants to be WAY more hands on and supportive this go around! Thank goodness. So when I had DS my water broke at home when DH was 45 minutes from home. He turned around and sped home and we rushed to the hospital with my contractions coming every minute and lasting about 2 minutes. I was having such a hard time breathing (later found out I had bronchitis) and I was trying my best to stay calm and get through them. When we got to the hospital I was dialated to a 6 and they wanted to monitor DS. I agreed to a few minutes of external monitoring. Well they couldn't find a heartbeat and freaked out on me. Me being ill equipped to handle this agreed to let them do an internal fetal monitor. BIG mistake. I was stuck on my back, couldn't move to get through contractions and laying on my back made it even harder for me to breathe. They hooked me up to oxygen and after 2 hours said that my oxygen levels were too low and I either had to cope with the contractions better or get an epi. Gee thanks. So very long story short, I ended up with an epi for a whopping 20 minutes. I had them turn it off the second I could breathe and I was able to feel my legs and birth.

So my question (sorry for the novel) is I'm wanting to do a natural home water birth this time so much! I do not want to be a in an environment that will push drugs and monitoring, etc. My DH and I want to take Bradley and Hypnobabies and he wants to support me through my birth this time. I was discussing this with my mom the other day thinking that she'd be my biggest cheerleader because she is a huge advocate to natural EVERYTHING but she literally told me "I don't think you can handle the pain. You should have seen you last time." I about died. I lost it and explained every single thing that made it so much more difficult for me to deal last time and after that she backed off and was supportive (who knows if that was for real). So now I'm doubting myself and really could use some encouragment as to how you ladies found the confidence to say I CAN DO THIS.

Thanks so much!

aylafsu88

You can do it!  My H and I took the Bradley class and loved it.  It was great for educating him on childbirth and getting him involved in labor.  The most important thing is to have a positive support system.  I know my DH and doula were a big reason I was able to have a natural birth.  They were so encouraging and supportive which made a huge difference.  It sounds like you H is on board with a natural birth which is great! It is sad that your mom is not as supportive as she could be.  Hopefully she will come around and be more supportive of your decision. 

angelacez

You can do it!  I had to lay on my side to have a lip of cervix go away and it was the worst 10 minutes EVER!  Of course you had an epi last time.  If I had to do that for longer...I don't even want to think about it.  One of the reasons I've having a midwife and a home birth(fingers crossed!).  There is no reason you can't do it.  Laying down is horrible in labor.  Moving helps so much more!

LaurelBee

Umm all the things you described going through during your first birth sound even worse than the pain of a med free labor! I most definitely think you are able to handle it- especially planning a HB. The environment will be so much calmer than nurses and Drs scaring the crap out of you and not so nicely "suggesting" all the interventions. Best of luck mama!

eta- ygpm 

chels0120

Thank you ladies so much for your relpies (and for reading the novel haha!) I really truly appreciate it!

chels0120

LaurelBee:

Umm all the things you described going through during your first birth sound even worse than the pain of a med free labor! I most definitely think you are able to handle it- especially planning a HB. The environment will be so much calmer than nurses and Drs scaring the crap out of you and not so nicely "suggesting" all the interventions. Best of luck mama!

eta- ygpm 

Laurel, YGPM

QBall27

My feeling is that surrounding yourself with positive, knowledgeable & supportive people may be one of the greatest keys to the birth experience you envision... Of course none of us can know how it will actually go, since the baby is really in charge  but if you have a partner, OB/MW/CNM, doula, etc. you can count on for being completely on board with your choices and serving in that encouraging role, I believe there's no doubt you'll do just fine! 

One thing I've read is that it is suggested to choose either Bradley or Hypnobabies -- but not attempt to use both methods during the birth.  Of course maybe you want to research/learn both & then decide which seems best for you.

You can do it!