How did you handle the negative comments?

Candace52309

So Im 2 1/2 months pregnant and have a 5 1/2 month old.

With my line of work there are certain treatments that I do with my pts in which I have to leave the room while the machine is on while pregnant, so hiding the pregnancy from co-workers is quiet difficult. My deptartment is very supportive bc they know my history in which I shouldnt have been ever to have children. However, other departments, I'm getting the negative/snide comments of "you know what causes that, right" and "my god, really" or "havent you heard of birth control"

I normally just smile and say, "no what causes it" "yeah my loving husband" or simply smile and walk away. However talking to my friend at church (who has 3 under 3 and TTC number 4) says it never goes away.

How do you girls handle it. What do you say back? Thanks

smerka

You know I got those comments, but I don't ever remember taking them in a negative way.  I think the majority of people say these things but don't really mean to imply anything negative.  Yes my kids are close and yes I have my hands full.  What else you got, Captain Obvious?  

Candace52309

Yeah, some of them I can tell dont mean anything by it, because of their tone or they laugh. Its more the ones that role their eyes when they find out Im pregnant again or when they role their eyes when they say it.

Qmommy

"Eh, we like crazy."  "I'm pretty sure eating too much spinach causes it right?"  "Getting pregnant is pretty good birth control.  I mean how many babies do you think I can have in the 9 months of pregnancy?"  "This one is just a late twin."  "What can I say, DH and I are fertile people."  "We make beautiful children so why not bless the world with another?"  

MrsKatieW

Qmommy:

"Eh, we like crazy." nbsp;"I'm pretty sure eating too much spinach causes it right?" nbsp;"Getting pregnant is pretty good birth control. nbsp;I mean how many babies do you think I can have in the 9 months of pregnancy?" nbsp;"This one is just a late twin." nbsp;"What can I say, DH and I are fertile people." nbsp;"We make beautiful children so why not bless the world with another?" nbsp;

I've said most of these, I've even said "none of your business" I'm looking forward to even more comments as I start to show with LO 3.

fairbl

The the whole "you've got your hands full" thing drives me crazy. I only have two! A friend told me to just smile and say, "full hands and a full heart."

magnoliablossom00

I usually just ignore it, but it really bothered me at first (especially when family members would say something). My MIL made a comment that (I found to be) semi-insulting to my religion and/or intelligence. I just smiled, looked her in the eyes, and said, "Well, we're hoping for a baseball team." And walked away.

People are just rude. And honestly, I think people make comments just b/c they like having opinions. 

There is nothing shameful or embarrassing about being in love with your partner and growing your family.  When people make "accident" comments, I usually get super pissed off (told you, I'm not very good at it! ha) and say that my family planning doesn't concern anyone other than dh and myself. I also add that I stay at home, my kids are fed and loved, so it's no one else's business.

laura1

I just smile and say yes, I do have my hands full (usually the kids are running around nutty while the baby is screaming - who wouldn't say I had my hands full?!), but I like it that way!  Honestly, I like having the kids close together - we have never had a diaper free house (we were close before #3 arrived, but not quite there), and my older 2 are best friends, and both seem to LOVE their new sister.  I hope they are all great friends growing up!  

MammaBear81

Generally I just smile and nod, but if I feel like someone is being mean on purpose I've been known to say:

"Do you know how that happens?"... "yes, and since you are so interested in my sex life, would you like a play by play"

"You are so busy/must have no time for yourself?".... "no, I just have good/better time management skills"

"have you heard of birth control?" "yes, why do you ask?"  (then you usually get a blank stare because they have realized what a stupid comment they just made)

 Honestly this bothers me because people don't say things like this when their kids are farther apart.  I wholeheartedly believe the spacing between kids doesn't matter, if you aren't busy with a toddler, you are busy with school age child that has activities, homework, and needs help learning to read, write and do math.  It never gets "easier" it's just different.  People may handle different stages better than others, but they all require the same amount of work.

lindsay.lou

I was lucky in that I didn't get any directly negative comments, just a few sarcastic jokes here and there. I found in my experience that if you just kind of laugh along with their jokes, they shut up faster than if you get defensive. It's hard to bite your tongue sometimes, but when you just laugh it off and change the subject, the moment seems to pass quickly. You're well within your right to put people in their place, but just be prepared for the whole exchange to go on longer if you do. I'm relatively non confrontational, so take my advice with a grain of salt.

Candace52309

Thank you ladies. I really needed the laugh. It going to be a fun ride. I look forward to insight and advice as the 2 under 2 ride continues.

JPafford86

I've gotten the "You know what causes that" question but usually from older people (grandparents/parent's friends etc) so I answer "Yep and it's A LOT of fun!!!" It's usually enough for people to realize they overstepped their boundaries.

 

Although one nosy/inappropriate person said "Slobbers don't make ya pregnant" I replied back "I know good thing or we'd have an even smaller gap" he was so embarrassed he walked away. 

I'm not the most PC person but obviously neither are they with asking such rude questions. I'm getting a lot of "are you going to try for a boy" lately and I'm not sure how to answer that one!!!