Where to give birth?

LPNMOMMYTORRE

So a little background on me. My name is Torre, im a nurse, I have 2 DD's ages 5 and 3. I am a birth doula and breastfeeding counselor. I have planned homebirths twice with my amazing HBMW and had 2 hospital births (transfers). My HBMW came with me as my doula. Im 28 and in what I consider to be reasonably good health. I am torn where I want to birth. I WANT to have a homebirth. BADLY. I am seeing a Perinatologist (who delivered my last DD) because I have a vascular abnormality in my brain (discovered last year in November) and no other OB would take me on without being a larger hospital with level 2 nursery (on other words no CNM's or community hospital practices). I was originally recommended to have a c section by my original Neuroradiologist, at the time I was seeing 2 OBs trying to decide whom I wanted to go with. Both agreed that my vascular issue had not been an issue with my previous births and that a c section was not indicated. I push quickly and easily and do not "purple push" and they wanted me to have a second opinion... Well I got one. My regular Neurologist thought the C section recommendation was overkill and referred me to a new Neuroradiologist who dictated a lengthy letter after looking at my angiogram films and said that my "aneurysm" was less like an aneurysm and more a "vasular abnormality" and it is teeny and poses no real risk for rupture from vaginal birth and pushing. My HBMW all along has thought the enire thing was silly and has said numerous times she would support me at home or as my doula in the hospital. My biggest issue is not wanting to have to STAY in the post partum unit longer than 24 hours. I want to go home. I don't want to be berated by the staff about breastfeeding, bleeding, cloth diapers, cloth pads, bed sharing, and having my vital signs taken at all ludacris hours. I also want to have a peaceful homebirth with no medications (I got epidurals both times after looooooong labors, my last I was 9.5 cms when they gave it to me). I went for my BPP U/S and of course baby is breach (im only 20 weeks for goodness sake) and my placenta is "close" but not a previa at all (its 1 cm away). My last DD had a placenta that was 1.8 cms away at 37 weeks and I had to transfer from my midwives at the hospital to a perinatologist, I still attempted a HB but was in extended labor for 7 days. Anyway. Im just not sure what to do. Im seeing the HBMW still monthly. She is willing to wait it out and see what happens, Im wondering if I should purchase the HB supplies and see how it goes in the moment... IDK though. Im so torn!

MrsSmithinOR

If I were you, I'd probably choose to give birth in the hospital (even though I'd want to do it at home) and just refuse all procedures you don't want, and tell them you're leaving after x amt of hours.  good luck to you!

Celyn

Has your midwife given you any hints on why your labors last so long?  

bandwife

Celyn:

Has your midwife given you any hints on why your labors last so long?  

This. Maybe your babies haven't been in optional position going into labor? 

Don't really have any advice. Sounds like you are very well informed as an RN and know all your challenges for a HB. Good luck - will be a tough decision I am sure.

mystrana

Given what you've said, I think I'd consider the hospital birth - ultimately it is your decision with what you feel comfortable with, but that's my 2 cents.

Also, I don't know what your hospital is like, but a lot of hospitals these days are becoming much more mom/baby friendly. There were definitely no lectures on breastfeeding, cosleeping, etc. The nurses did come in to check my vitals every so often but found me with DS sleeping in the hospital bed next to me and didn't lecture.

LPNMOMMYTORRE

I had a baby at this hospital 3.5 years ago, I am going to be met with all the crap post partum. The birth itself wouldn't bother me at the hospital. I can refuse anything I don't want and they were pretty good last time but the post partum was horrid. Im going to ask at my next OB visit if I can have it in my chart that I am leaving 24 hours post partum. As for my long labors. Baby 2 was OP, but turned at the last possible second (I rolled from all 4's to my back for pushing and as I rolled, she did too, the right way), I push like lightening, I didn't even push with baby 2, she was breastfeeding 4 minutes after they said PUSH lol. With my first, we aren't sure, its like my uterus is super responsive and starts and just takes a loooong time. I stall out early on, dialate slowly, but still experience constant painful contractions with bloody show. Its weird. Im hoping this time is different. I'd love to have a really precipitous labor and not make it "in time" lol. But that won't happen. I will know more after this next appt Jan 9th. Im assuming we will be talking birth specifics, since the Neuro has rendered his recommendations. I think I WANT the HB, Im mourning its loss, but I know it isn't the best option JIC.

ncbelle

Honestly, I would opt for a hospital birth as well.  I think home birth is great (although haven't had one myself) but I think one can have a great birth in other settings as well.  The typical stay for uncomplicated vaginal birth is 24 hours - so leaving at that point shouldn't be a problem.  And as for your long labor, I would just labor at home for as long as possible.

You know what you want and don't want and sound like you are willing to make those wishes clear.  While the hospital isn't the ideal postpartum setting for you, it is what you make it as well.  In other words, focus on the positives - say, someone at your beck and call! - and go in with a plan for expressing your wishes.  It's also been 3.5 years - a lot might have changed in that time as far as hospital policies go.  At my hospital, rooming in, breastfeeding, etc were the norm.  Yeah, it kinda sucks to have random wake ups for vitals but it's only 24 hours!