adoption waiting times

RockyRoad3

Since the board is slow, I thought maybe this would get things going a little bit.

I started watching this show called The Baby Wait, which follows couples adopting babies, and the birth mother, and focuses on the waiting period during which time the birth parent(s) can change their minds for any reason and take the baby back.  States differ on the waiting time, but the episodes I've seen were either 10 days or 30 days.

What do you guys think about this waiting period?  

I'll preface this by saying I've never been involved in any way in adoption--I don't know anyone who adopted a child, or looked into it (as far as I know), or who was adopted themselves (as far as I know).  

I can understand a short waiting period, but I think 30 days is way too long, and even 10 days seems like a lot.  I think it's unfair not only for the adoptive parents, but also for the birth parents.  I can't imagine making one of the most difficult decisions of my life by placing my child up for adoption, and then torturing myself for 30 days about whether I made the right decision.  Not to mention, 30 days is a long time for the adoptive parents to bond with a baby.  Granted, she's my biological child (though I don't know that that makes a difference), but I couldn't imagine giving Aria to someone else after a month.

So what says the Pumpkin Patch? 

Mrs.G123

That time would be torture on both sides, I think. I just can't imagine having the birth patents change their mind. This happened to my sister's good friend after being home with the baby a day or two. It was heartbreaking.

Mrschica

I 100% agree! It's not fair for any of the parties involved. I understand that people may change their minds, but at what point do you draw the line between it being ok to change your mind and drag the issue for too long.

clrgrdfrk

Uhhh, I can't watch that show without getting emotional. It just seems excruciating on both ends.

RockyRoad3

meganole25:

I see both sides. I have a good friend that works in adoption and I've heard a lot of stories from her.

I think 30 days might be too much - by 10  - 14 days seems about right. It's horrible for  both parties involved, but in the end, it's not about them. It's about what's best for the child.

It should definitely be what is best for the child.  But, playing devil's advocate, there must be a reason the birth parents decided on adoption.  Should that be taken into consideration?  Like if they decided on it because they couldn't afford to have a(nother) child.   

MississippiCatfish

My best friend and her husband waited four years to be matched up with their little boys. Can you imagine, after all of that time, if the parents had been allowed to take them back!? That would seem so very unfair.