intro vent i guess?

bripratt2

hey guys :] Ive been lurking the past couple of days and reading everything made me want to express my feelings about my single parent life.  Sometimes its hard being around either mothers who have never been a single mom or all of my friends who have no idea what its like to even be a mom let alone a single one.  I feel like no one truly understands me.  Anyway, Im the proud mommy of a thriteen month old little girl :] I got pregnant right after I turned nineteen as a result of heavy partying and lack of good decsion making basically.  I found myself with a guy I cant even believe I even talked to in the first place.  About nine months or so into our relationship he was leaving for colorado.  Of course right after he left I found out I was pregnant...awkward.  But he was happy and came home to take care of us.  Shortly after he came home though things turned for the worst.  I never should have been inthis relationship to begin with but for some reason I never saw the red flags.  While I was pregnant he refused to quit smoking around me, he verbally and emotionally abused me, I guess you could say he physically abused me but it was minor, he cheated on me,  couldnt get a job, wouldnt stop doing and selling drugs, and put all of his focus on spending every single night out at the bars.  I was a wreck by twelve weeks.  Not only was he hurting me but my hormones were out of control needless to say I couldnt hangle it anymore.  I left him.  We attempted to work things out once and after he failed to show any interest in working together to make a better life for our baby I cut ties for my own sanity and the wellbeing of the baby inside of me.  I had a wonderful pregnancy I made all new friends, was working a great job, and started feeling happy again.  I knew it was for the best that I continue everything alone of course thats not how the courts see it now is it.  I made every decision I could to make sure my daughter was completely under my control.  I went to a wonderful lamaze class and had the most amazing natural birth.  I did end up calling baby daddy when she was born because I felt like it was the right thing to do all of my decisions remained but I didnt want to lie to him  or try to hide my daughter from the truth.  My family and i never completely let him in because its what we needed to do to protect ourselves and my baby girl.  I was open to him coming by if he asked of course or giving us anything we needed.  But i never asked anything of him because my sole responsibility is to be a mother not to try and make him a daddy.  Of course as time went on I heard from him less and less.  I have never once told him he couldnt see her or send money or recieve pictures if he wanted.  All he ever had to do was ask.  He chose not to.  But its for our best and I'm ok with it because we are better off without him.  I am actually extremely lucky because eight months into my pregnancy I met the love of my life, a united states marine, and we recently got married and my husband plans on adopting my baby girl.  It really feels like things are starting to work out for the best but I still have all kinds of questions and out of all of the boards this feels the best fitting.  Has anyone else moved on and thought about adoption?  How was this process? Or how does everyone deal with baby daddy drama?  As happy as I am with how things have been turning out the biggest problem I have with the biological father are the rumors that go around and the ridicule I get for things that arent true!  Everyone seems to think I stole her from him when he was just never around! It gets hard when I find myself feeling scared to go anywhere in the town we used to live in.  Im sure theres more I could ask but Ill keep it at that for now.

septmom11

Welcome, My Dd is 15 months. My ex has zero contact with her ( his choice) and although he is court orderd to pay child support he doesnt.  I am just starting to think about venturing out into the dating world.  If i was to get married and my husband wanted to adopt i think i would be open to that, but who knows im not there anytime soon!

nightingailj28

Hi! Welcome!

 You are doing what is best for your LO, so I commend you for that, don't worry about rumors or ridicule. I'm sorry you've had to deal with so much so far, but stay strong. Given the circumstances, I think you have done well.