I just don't get it...

EastCoastBride

I think the post below is probably MUD, but we've seen plenty of people who were perfectly serious about being upset that their shower wasn't going to be to their standards.

I DON"T GET IT.  Someone is offering to throw you a party where people are going to come and give you a whole bunch of $hit so that YOU don't have to buy it yourself (and some of it can be quite expensive), but instead of appreciating it, they get pissy because it won't be at the "right" location, or there will be decorations they don't like, or they don't like the games.

I mean.... REALLY?  Talk about looking the gift horse in the mouth.

wittyschaffy

I agree with you to an extent.  Yes, it is a gift and yes, that is something that should never be expected and I by no means feel entitled to one nor would I ever really interfere with a host's vision for the day.  However, as someone who has two showers coming up, I would be beyond mortified to have people guessing my girth with toilet paper.  I feel as big as a house to begin with, no need to rub my face in it.  If it was decided upon without asking me - I'd do my best to be a gracious and good sport about it but if the host asked my opinion on it, I would absolutely respectfully ask for that one to get scrapped.

nlscroggins

EastCoastBride:

I think the post below is probably MUD, but we've seen plenty of people who were perfectly serious about being upset that their shower wasn't going to be to their standards.

I DON"T GET IT.  Someone is offering to throw you a party where people are going to come and give you a whole bunch of $hit so that YOU don't have to buy it yourself (and some of it can be quite expensive), but instead of appreciating it, they get pissy because it won't be at the "right" location, or there will be decorations they don't like, or they don't like the games.

I mean.... REALLY?  Talk about looking the gift horse in the mouth.

absolutely agree. i think people just worry about how they will look to others, which is sad. i mean, the baby doesnt get a say and that's who the shower is really for anyway lol people can be so terrible and ungrateful sometimes... 

CougFan

I think there is a problem when you step in and try to run your own shower.  There is nothing wrong with being frustrated/disappointed and venting.  If anything, it will probably make it so you get it out of your system and are more grateful in the moment.

I have thrown a couple awesome showers for dear friends--really thought about the guest of honor, chose a theme that would fit them, had every detail go with the theme and spent a lot of time on hand-made touches.  Now, I wouldn't expect that the same be done for me but I'm not going to lie...I would be disappointed if someone threw me a shower with made in china, garish,  Winnie-the-pooh decorations and grocery store cake. I'm not entitled to anything better than that, but we all have the right to be disappointed when something we hoped for didn't work out.

I read all the time here that this is a public, anonymous forum and if it is okay to *** about someone venting, it should also be okay for them to come here and vent. Better here than in the real world! 

JenniD2

The sense of entitlement some people have these days is just mind blowing. I just don't get why people can't be thankful for what they have.

PrimRoseMama

Because people feel they are entitled to exactly what they want, the way they want it and when they don't get it they throw a shiit fit. It's the extension of Bridezillas to preggozilla.

caladpi02

I can see being upset if the shower being planned runs counter to your idea of good manners (potlucks, diaper raffles, etc.). Playing devil's advocate, I can understand someone being a little nervous about a shower that is very outside of the norm for their family and friends, like a co-ed kegger when your family generally has an all female brunch. You want the guests to feel comfortable. Obviously there are ways to deal with this-decline the shower, have multiple showers, etc.

 

Unknown

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Liz4444

But my pretty, pretty princess day must be PERFECT!!!!

jeffsjayme

It's just our culture.  Girls complain that their Sweet 16 party isn't what they wanted.  Women complain that they didn't get all the frills they wanted for their wedding, even when dear old dad is footing the bill.

But then you get to be an adult and you think you can finally throw a party (the shower) the way you've always wanted.  I mean, it isn't really for you, is it?  It's all about the baby and since you're the mom, you should get to do it the way you want to (their logic goes).

BUT...It IS about you, not the baby.  It is a gift someone is getting you.It isn't the chance to satisfy every dream about a baby shower that you've ever bad.  So be grateful. Hope you have a host that can afford to give you the shower you envisioned.  And hope you have a friend that would be thrilled to be showered at a baby shower that you throw for her that fits your vision.

....says me, the girl who didn't have a baby shower (by choice - cause I just think showers are odd). 

 

ETA: for clarity 

madameashley

I agree with you completely. I think others need to realize how much people go out of their way to host a baby shower, considering it's a lot of work to please all the guests, and I think it is quite outrageous when not even the young lady that is having the baby isn't satisfied. That to me is on the selfish side if you ask me and I sure agree with ya. In total, I'll be receiving a total of 3 baby showers, all hosted by someone different. I didn't care where they were held or what games we played, I was happy they even decided to open up their heart to give me such a celebration. I am eternally grateful and it is a little sad that other's do not feel the same way.

TX-Bride

RedheadBaker:

While I agree with your overall sentiment, the bolded is not true. The shower is to welcome the woman to motherhood. How can the shower be for the baby when it isn't even born yet?  

That's what I keep reading here that the shower is about the mother not the baby, specially when someone poses a question about the second/third baby shower. But then when we get to this argument, it's about the baby not the mother?

I have not had a shower yet (it's way early to even plan) and my friend who has offered to throw me a shower throws awesome parties so I know I would have nothing to worry about. 

I think the issue is, you know that the guests are invited to bring gift, so in return you want them to be fed and entertained properly.  The right thing is if the mom to be has concerns what type of host the host will be, she should decline that offer politely not accept the offer instead of accepting the offer but have too much control over the planning.  

Disneygeek77

I think some of the problem is that these mom's to be start to imagine what they want their showers to be like.  They get carried away by thinking of possible themes, venues, games, activities, food, etc.  The thing is, they never ever should do that.  This isn't their party to throw, simple as that. 

Jillibean85

JenniD2:

The sense of entitlement some people have these days is just mind blowing. I just don't get why people can't be thankful for what they have.

Agreed. 

mel8255

If a shower was being hosted for me, I would absolutely have a say-so in the details...not because I am ungrateful.  But because I would want to insure that I was NOT coming across entitled.  For instance, both my MIL and mother hosted a wedding shower for my husband and me.  My mother's was exactly what I wanted, but my MIL invited people who weren't invited to the wedding, and asked my friends (not bridesmaids) to bring a dish to pass.  That's rude.  I absolutely don't want a baby shower like that - you can't invite people who I don't know, and you can't ask people who aren't hosting the event to bring a dish.  What's wrong with us having input on the shower?

Liz4444

mel8255:

If a shower was being hosted for me, I would absolutely have a say-so in the details...not because I am ungrateful.  But because I would want to insure that I was NOT coming across entitled.  For instance, both my MIL and mother hosted a wedding shower for my husband and me.  My mother's was exactly what I wanted, but my MIL invited people who weren't invited to the wedding, and asked my friends (not bridesmaids) to bring a dish to pass.  That's rude.  I absolutely don't want a baby shower like that - you can't invite people who I don't know, and you can't ask people who aren't hosting the event to bring a dish.  What's wrong with us having input on the shower?

Having input is fine... if the host asks for it.