!

victoria+james

I am so frustrated with DH! I told him that we were coming up to my fertile window so we would need to use protection if he wanted to continue to wait.
Long story short... There was some nervousness and then many days with unprotected sex. All his choice!
Then today he says he acted on a whim and he's not sure he's ready to be a dad yet. WTF?! You can't take that back! I mean, we can always avoid next month but dear lord... We already tried this month!
Now I'm livid because I feel so internally conflicted about if I hope I'm KU since we tried or if I hope I'm not since I want him on board!
What's done is done. Sorry about all the !!! Rant over... Waiting begin

kdjudd

Well what's done is done. It sounds to me like he is just really nervous. I'd be excited if I was you. I feel like he will be happy if you are pregnant! My husband was nervous when we were trying too. I think it is pretty normal. 

Mysterious_wife

What you are saying here isn't what you said here

https://m.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/70460658.aspx

You need to chill the ** out. Sit down have a heart to heart and drop the subject for a while. He's going to end up resenting you and/or any offspring if you get KU before he's ready.

Mysterious_wife

And you just started charting. You should be using protection all cycle if he isn't ready.

https://m.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/70431402.aspx

KenziK

I wouldn't beat yourself up over it, you made sure he knew it was your fertile window and he is the one that chose not to use any protection and just go with it. If you get pregnant this cycle he can be nervous and unsure all he wants but he can't take but what has already been done. Also, I don't know if it's the same way with your DH, but mine seems to have a hard time comprehending how long it actually takes to make a baby. When I brought up the whole subject he seemed to think "let's have a baby soon" meant, "I want to pop out a baby next month", which is obviously impossible. So if you did actually end up KU, he has nine months to get ready to be a dad Good luck! I'm anxious to hear how everything turns out for you.

AliciaS1411

Sounds like youre trying to "accidentally" get KU. I agree with MW, you need to chill out.

victoria+james

I usually agree with you MW, Ghost... I would love to chill the F out. I never post anything untrue, but I wouldn't doubt if there are some conflicting posts as DH seems to change his mind on things at the drop of a hat.

I told him I'm thinking about going back on the BCP next month, low libido and all. But he told me not to. I'm getting a lot of mixed signals and I'm sure that's why I'm sounding so crazy as well.

I'm going to try to take a step back for a while. Take a trip without DH for a few days and see what I want to do from here.

Thank you for your honesty and advise. I agree with some of the PPs that this may be mostly on DH, but I'm not helping.

And now I'll go take a breath of fresh air while I calm my tits.

KenziK

GhostMonkey:

KenziK:

I wouldn't beat yourself up over it, you made sure he knew it was your fertile window and he is the one that chose not to use any protection and just go with it. If you get pregnant this cycle he can be nervous and unsure all he wants but he can't take but what has already been done. Also, I don't know if it's the same way with your DH, but mine seems to have a hard time comprehending how long it actually takes to make a baby. When I brought up the whole subject he seemed to think "let's have a baby soon" meant, "I want to pop out a baby next month", which is obviously impossible. So if you did actually end up KU, he has nine months to get ready to be a dad Good luck! I'm anxious to hear how everything turns out for you.

STFU.

 

 

That's a little uncalled for GhostMonkey. Did I offend you or something? 

Mysterious_wife

KenziK:

GhostMonkey:

KenziK:

I wouldn't beat yourself up over it, you made sure he knew it was your fertile window and he is the one that chose not to use any protection and just go with it. If you get pregnant this cycle he can be nervous and unsure all he wants but he can't take but what has already been done. Also, I don't know if it's the same way with your DH, but mine seems to have a hard time comprehending how long it actually takes to make a baby. When I brought up the whole subject he seemed to think "let's have a baby soon" meant, "I want to pop out a baby next month", which is obviously impossible. So if you did actually end up KU, he has nine months to get ready to be a dad Good luck! I'm anxious to hear how everything turns out for you.

STFU.

 

 

That's a little uncalled for GhostMonkey. Did I offend you or something? 

I love when I can seriously LOL.

bugandbibs

Mysterious_wife:

KenziK:

GhostMonkey:

KenziK:

I wouldn't beat yourself up over it, you made sure he knew it was your fertile window and he is the one that chose not to use any protection and just go with it. If you get pregnant this cycle he can be nervous and unsure all he wants but he can't take but what has already been done. Also, I don't know if it's the same way with your DH, but mine seems to have a hard time comprehending how long it actually takes to make a baby. When I brought up the whole subject he seemed to think "let's have a baby soon" meant, "I want to pop out a baby next month", which is obviously impossible. So if you did actually end up KU, he has nine months to get ready to be a dad Good luck! I'm anxious to hear how everything turns out for you.

STFU.

 

 

That's a little uncalled for GhostMonkey. Did I offend you or something? 

I love when I can seriously LOL.

Me too. I thought I was the only one...

bugandbibs

You and YH need to have a serious get on the same page meeting. Until you do, no more unprotected sex during your fertile window. No matter what he says.

victoria+james

Just to be sure I'm not getting mixed signals from you ladies as well...

When I asked if I should be feeling guilty and should I take it upon myself to make sure we use a condom when he chose not to bring one. I thought the general consensus was not to feel guilty because he knows what he's doing. I have been open about telling him when we are in and around my fertile window as well as continued to tell him when I was fairly certain we were not at risk of getting KU that there is still Always a chance.

But because I chose not to feel guilty and he made the choice with me to have unprotected sex when I told him we should not if he wanted to continue to wait to TTC... I should now feel guilty for trying to trick him into having a baby?

Simply for additional clarification for those who care to know:
The day before he first chose to go au naturalle in the bedroom, I gave him a note, because I'm cheesy like that, asking him to take a look at how far we had come on the goals we've reached since we first started talking babies. I asked him to take a moment and decide if he was still wanting to wait or if he had been spending so long saying "no" that he hadn't thought about when to say "yes". I went on to tell him that we were at risk of getting KU and that instead of a discussion or argument I had written the note and wanted his response to simply be making love to me. If he wanted to try that was great, if not I loved him still but to use a condom for at least the next while so we wouldn't get KU. That was when the whole thing started.