Kids dealing with change (???'s)

MesmrEwe

Hi ya'll...  Since many of you have already been through the older kid phases I figured I'd ask the question here...

How do you deal with managing your child when they are going through a rough time because of major life shakeups and don't know how to cope??

We're in the middle of a major life change, the IL's family business that DH works for was sold, and "as-if" that wasn't a big enough change around here (DH has to put in some super long hours with the transition), this past week they moved DD's best/only friend out of her class and into another.. Needless to say, she has been taking things out on me (tantrums for even the simplest thing, refusing to help/do anything for others around here, doesn't want to do homework, etc.), and nothing seems to be helping.  We had problems in years past but I think having her friend in the same class was enough to get her to overlook the problems she had been having this year for the first time.  Now we're back to considering a school change because of how miserable things have gotten again.. 

jlw2505

My girls are4 1/2 and 6 1/2 and we just try to spend some extra time together and have a lot of cuddle time and we talk and I try to listen, to get the girls to talk about what is going on, what is making them upset, their feelings.  I also sometimes just let them have their tantrums and get some of the emotion out.  Kids keep emotions all bottled up inside until they know they are in a safe place, with a loved one and then they let lose.  Its actually really helpful and good for the kids and while it might not be easy to deal with and not the best way for the kids to get it out - it is what they know how to do.  At other times, when she is not so stressed out or upset, sit down and talk about ways to handle feelings and how to express them. 

groovygrl

You could ask your pedi for a good family psychologist who you & your SO could go to for advice... my DS has had a lot of anxiety related issues this year after we moved to a different state which meant new daycare, a temp apt then a new house, new routine, etc etc and we were really struggling over the summer and ended up taking him to be evaluated to be sure there was nothing bigger going on (thankfully not) and the psychiatrist referred us to a psychologist for parenting advice. GL!

ba23ba02

Have your kid's doctors involved and always explain to them and hug and kiss them as much as you can.  Communication is the key for everyone involved.