How do you deal with aggressive behavior (SPD)?

chardonnay24

It's not aggressive, exactly. My 22 month old doesn't usually hit out of anger or frustration. I think he just gets wound up and needs to release some energy, and he does that by hitting or pushing.

He broke my nose on Sunday while we were playing with Duplos. Out of nowhere, he stood up and slammed his head into my face. I was covered in snot and blood so I don't think I dealt with it effectively, but we generally remind him to be gentle, tell him that it hurts, etc. He has recently started apologizing and giving kisses, but I do not force it.

Whenever he runs around with a group of kids, he generally ends up getting carried away and pushing or hitting. I generally remind him to be gentle once, then remove him for a short break, and then leave entirely.

Despite over a year of consistent reminders, he continues this behavior and it's getting worse as he gets older and stronger. Considering he broke my nose, I'm terrified that he's going to end up actually hurting another child.

Any tips? Our OT essentially just told me to keep doing what we're doing and it'll eventually stick and we're working on developing a sensory diet that should help, but in the meantime, I'm really struggling with this. I like to get him out of the house as much as possible but if he's going to get kicked out of places for aggressive behavior, I'm not really motivated to have him play with other kids.

kcisthebombdotcom

When you take him to activities what are they consisting of? My son has spd and is not typically aggressive, but last week they brought out bubbles at his playgroup he got way overstimulated and started tackling kids. Is there anything about the environment that might be overstimulating him where you're taking him? You may want to try a different group/activity if that is the case.

If it's not where he's going, I would try to do some heavy work activities before bringing him. Take him to the playground and let him climb up the slide prior. If he gets there and he's still acting aggressively, when you pull him away try to do something calming/organizing. Some kids do well with deep pressure massage (though both of mine find light finger tip back rubs much more organizing). Another thing to try might be joint compressions prior to and during if he gets aggressive--your OT can show you how to do it.

chardonnay24

We do a variety of activities - library, music, tumbling, swimming, soccer, messy art. He is generally pretty good at structured activities where he is completely engaged so we try to focus on those things. Library story time is great during the structured song and dance routine, but there is free play in between. It is usually during the transition period that he starts pushing so I try to really focus on having him help clean up, look at a book, anything to keep him engaged until the songs start back up. We take a music class that he loves but when the parachute comes out, it completely overstimulates him. I asked the teacher to give us a warning before she brings it out and I take him for a walk up and down the hallway.

Play dates are a disaster. We still attend a play group and have one on one time with other kids, but he always ends up hitting or pushing by the end of the day. We could take a break from play dates or I could try coming up with more structured activities.

Our OT actually just introduced a brushing/massage/joint compression program but she suggested waiting until after the holidays to start, so we'll begin that in January.

 Thanks for the tips!

mommytoconnor

Man I could have written your post.  A couple of months ago my son broke my nose as well with a nice head butt.  He didn't mean it and so of course as I am crying, siping my nose, I am trying to calm him too.  my son has SPD and can be I wouldn't call it agressive, but very intense.  He doesn't mean to hurt people, he gets the sensation he craves by doing something.  For example, my son has been on sensory diet for almost 6 months now and I see a huge diff.  We did lots of things with his sensory diet and now he does almost none.  He craves proprioception, the pushing and pulling, and yes hitting and opening and closing doors and things.  So when he is acting like this we do joint compressions, lotion rubs with pressure, crashing.  He laughs at discipline so it's very hard. Keep up with it and you will find what works for you.  It's vital to have a good OT who knows sensory and keep up a sensory diet.  If you need help developing one let me know and I would be happy to share what I did. I got real creative and it doesn't have to be expensive.

 

mopdop2000

I have no ideas to help you since we've never dealt with this, but just wanted to tell you 2 stories about things that happened to my kiddos from other, neurotypical kids.

First, when ds1 was 5, his 3 yr old cousin bit him hard enough to draw blood. She didn't want him touching what she was playing with and didn't have the ability at 3 to tell him, so bit him. I was super ticked off about it, but happy to report that she is now a lovely 6 yr old who is no longer agressive like that. 

Second, one of ds2's regular playmates is a neurotypical 2 yr old, who is super agressive. He actualy bit my ds in church nursery last week hard enough to cause a bruise! My friend, his mom, has tried everything she can to teach him that it isn't ok, but he just gets so excited and forgets.

I only share these stories to remind that you aren't alone in dealing with agression in kids