Intro/ Family has never asked about her...

Bugg22

I have been lurking for awhile and I do not feel I "fit" with the miscarriage/ pregnancy loss board.... I hope it is alright if I join you ladies here and there

This has been driving me crazy since Bella was born. I have 3 sister in laws and am close with all of them. I see them about 2x a week. They have NEVER asked about how I have been doing, about Bella, they do not even know her name. It seems as if they ignore the fact that she ever existed.... 

I hate feeling this way. Any insight? I keep making excuses for them in my mind but it is so frustrating. Everytime I am around them I come home crying in my van. I know I need to talk to them but SOOOO do not feel like doing that.

 

Jennifer271012

I'm so very sorry for your loss ((HUGS))

Maybe they don't know how to bring  it up in conversation?? Many of my closest family members told me that they would wait for me to talk about it. It's such a sensitive topic that they may not know what to say to you.

 

jbranden12

I am so very sorry for the loss of your Bella. I know that it is hard for people to know what to do in our situation and I think it is unfortunate that in addition to grieving, we also have to be educators about grief. But I found that the more I talked about her, the easily I could talk about her. When people did a generic "Hi, how are you" I would come right out with it and say "I'm really missing my daughter today."  It let them know that I wanted to talk about her. Know that by doing this, you open yourself up to any dumb comments people make, but the silence was worse for me.

meli1025

I am so very sorry for the loss of your baby girl, Bella.  It is so hurtful when people say nothing, but I've come to realize that they really just don't know what to say.  Let them take a cue from you that it's ok to talk about her.  ((Hugs))

starburst0928

I'm so sorry for your loss of Bella. I find that people avoid me, and talking about Bradley in general. To combat that, I bring him up casually and just am open in general so people learn I like to talk about him,

dandywarhol

I'm so sorry for the loss of little Bella. As hard and unfair as it may seem I think a lot of people don't know what to say or how to act for fear of upsetting you. I found that I had to tell people how to act, let me know that it was ok to talk about my daughters, let them know that I wanted to speak about my experience. 

I think Elizabeth Edwards summed it up nicely, "If you know someone who has lost a child or lost anybody who's important to them, and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died, they didn't forget they died. You're not reminding them. What you're reminding them of is that you remember that they lived, and that's a great, great gift."

calibride2005

Jennifer271012:

I'm so very sorry for your loss ((HUGS))

Maybe they don't know how to bring  it up in conversation?? Many of my closest family members told me that they would wait for me to talk about it. It's such a sensitive topic that they may not know what to say to you.

THIS....I have been told the same thing.