Hard day and rant

e74

A year ago today would have been our first ivf transfer but we got the call saying nothing made it to day 5.  I am so upset because I am still not pregnant and I'm looking at ttc#2 for 4 yrs in April.  I am so frustrated and tired... Tired of people asking me what I want for Christmas--- I want a sibling for my DS...  I want the santa he asks every yr for a sibling to stop looking at me like the devil...  I want the ton of people announcing pregnancies at work to stop( sorry, I can't be happy for you right now, the first two yrs of ttc#2 , I could still be happy, but not right now).  Anyway, I know I should be thankful for DS and I am, but it is still difficult.   If you made it this far reading this, congratulations!  I just need to get out of this funk.....

eastsidekitty

Hey I just wanted to say i totally get it. it sucks. 

74dragonfly

I can relate. Sending hugs to you. This journey sucks.

ttcmbbaby

I totally understand you and feel for you!!! I have been ttc for 4 years come March though we weren't all in the first few months. My dd is 7 and that's all I've wanted for her is a sibling too! What makes this year even harder is my two almost pregnancies one in September (elevated hcg but low progesterone - sperm met egg no implant) and one in October (actual confirmed pregnancy with hcg and then mc 3 days after finding out). Since my mc November 1st I still haven't gotten a period and had blood work done but have more blood work next week. I've wanted nothing more than to keep going but my body is working against me at this point... My daughter still walks up to me and touches my belly and asks when the baby is coming back because she knows she will be a good big sister and take good care of her. Best of luck!!! Hoping 2013 is the best!!!

anitaflora

I'm so, so sorry you're going through this. Even though my time has been shorter, I feel a lot of the same way and it just conpletely and totally sucks. Just wanted to reach out and send lots of hugs your way. I'm so sorry you're having a tough day and wish you all the best going forward.

efhoping2010

I am very sorry.  I am in a similar situation, will you cycle again?  We are still trying to figure it out.  Take care. 

dwraalstad

I completely understand! I felt this way about a week ago. I feel like everyone around me is able to get pregnant and I am just in some sick practical joke! I know that's not the case at all but it's hard to watch people around you get pregnant so easily and here we are still struggling for it to happen.

I have only been TTC for a year but I feel the same way about giving my daughter a sibling. I watch a few children in my home and I have a couple of babies and to see how awesome she is with them and how helpful, it breaks my heart that it's not her sibling she is helping me with. 

I hope you are feeling better and that you are able to get that second child you want asap. Good luck!

jeannaqueena

I am with you.  I am wallowing in my self pity right now.  It hit me today that my 2 embryos died inside of me it is like losing our twins all over again in a way.  We have been trying for 4 years on and off.  A nice pause when DS was conceived and born.  This time I have recently hit the year mark and I am just depressed.

e74

Thank you all for the kind words!  IF stinks and doing ivf so many times has just gotten to me.  We are on shared risk so we have another cycle, but every time we need a new donor, we have to shell out more $ which is not part of the shared risk...  Anyway, thank you for the support.  You all are the best!

e74

Jeannaqueena, I am so sorry!  Big hugs....