Considering baby #2

rennie86

Hello fellow mamas!

 This is my first post in a while. DH and I are considering having my Mirena removed and TTC baby #2. Our son is almost 14 months old. I am sad about the thought of him having to share me already but we want him to have a sibling close in age. Plus, this year, my SIL is getting married in November so I don't want to cause drama by her thinking I was "stealing" her spotlight.

Am I wrong to want to have another one now? I know the positives are that they would be close but I'm just unsure. Any advice???

LatteLady5

I don't understand the spotlight stealing thing. You would be stealing her spotlight if you got pregnant or you want to get pregnant so you won't steal her spotlight later?

Nobody can really advice you when to have a baby If you're ready and you want to take this step, go for it. If you think you need a little more time then take your time.

You have to do what's right for you and your family. IMO your SIL's wedding should have no bearing on your decision to TTC.

shediva1

Go for it, sounds like you and your DH are on the same page about having #2.  You never know if it will take the first month, or 8th (?) month trying for #2.  If you feel strongly about not being due around your SIL's wedding, then try at a later date. 

Mrs. Mo

Do not put your life or desire extend your family on hold because of someone else (except your DH). As shediva said, you never know how quick or long it will take. It took 2 years (with IF treatments) for me to get pregnant with my DD and we are curretly on month 13 for TTC#2.

kagl08

Mrs. Mo:

Do not put your life or desire extend your family on hold because of someone else (except your DH).

This! The upcoming November wedding should have no bearing on your decision to expand your family. Clearly I am a fan of having kids close together and I am very happy we has them this close. If you and DH are ready, I say go for it! 

rennie86

I am also thinking about DS. If by chance I got pregnant in February, their birthdays would be SOOO close. That's the same time I got pregnant last time. Is this something I should think about? Spacing the birthdays for the kids sake? Maybe I'm just nuts.

blu-eyedwife

rennie86:

I am also thinking about DS. If by chance I got pregnant in February, their birthdays would be SOOO close. That's the same time I got pregnant last time. Is this something I should think about? Spacing the birthdays for the kids sake? Maybe I'm just nuts.

This is what we're doing - but we also don't really want kids that are less than 2 years apart, so we're waiting and then will aim for a baby not due in September/October/November.  DH and his brother have birthdays the same month and DH gets shafted every year.

rennie86

Woodsie:

We started TTCing this month and I had similar concerns about having to split my attention between 2 kids, and each having to share us. But T will have a playmate once baby 2 gets a little older, and I'm sure he or she will be more fun than DH or me anyway. So I'm looking at it more like he is gaining a sibling and friend than losing half of my attention, kwim?

Wow! That is a WONDERFUL way to look at it. I never considered that perspective. Thanks!

kagl08

lisajay09:

And I go back and forth on a daily basis about having a third. You think YOU'RE crazy? Nah!

I just had a change of heart 2 weeks ago and was seriously considering a 3rd. I'm not even sure why. Must be something really wrong with me! Then DH went away and the kids got sick, and I'm asking why I ever thought I could handle a 3rd... But this small part of me still kinda wants another. 

kagl08

rennie86:

I am also thinking about DS. If by chance I got pregnant in February, their birthdays would be SOOO close. That's the same time I got pregnant last time. Is this something I should think about? Spacing the birthdays for the kids sake? Maybe I'm just nuts.

My kids are 13.5 months apart and totally planned. DDs birthday is Aug 2010 and DSs birthday is Sept 2011. Their birthdays are 6 weeks apart, and we do just fine. My kids are best friends and I took nothing away from my oldest. I gave her the best gift! A built-in playmate.  

rennie86

This is all so helpful! Thank you so much!

Nita2603

My two boys are 11 months apart. Not gonna lie, it is hard. The big boy didn't walk yet when the little one came along. Lugging a chunky baby around post c/s is not easy. He was doing ok with sharing me right from the start though. While it was hard and the first months was just a daze, it gets easier. Now, three months in, weare doing ok. The boys love each other. There are kisses and hugs, rattle shaking and toy sharing. And, as of today, paci replacing. The little one tracks his brother like no one's business.

I still have mommy guilt sometimes, but it is fantastic to see how the boys love each other. And we planned this, after all.

As for the bdays not being close together...meh. My big brother and I have birthdays 2 days apart. Well, it was always cool to celebrate together!

punkin05

As someone who is currently in the 2 week wait of our first month TTC, I don't think it's a crazy idea. Like everyone else has stated, we wanted DS to have a sibling close in age so they could grow up and play together. There's big age gaps between me and my 2 sisters, and I didn't really have anyone who was always there with me growing up. I didn't want DS to go through that especially since we live out in the country and there isn't an abundance of children close by.

shellylovelee

I say if you and your DH are in agreement, then go for it.  There will always be questions and just as many on the other side if you wait for a while.  We cannot predict when we'll conceive, so if it's what you both want then why wait?  

And I had your same concerns about my DS having to "share" me.  But how many of us remember anything at that age.  He'll still feel loved and still know I'm there for him.   

aandg

My kids are 18 months apart. Not gonna lie, it is hard at times, but I also really like having them this close in age. Now that DD is older they are really starting to play together and it's adorable. Plus they keep each other occupied so I can do things like make dinner.

 I'm looking forward to them both being out of the "baby" stage, diapers, bottles, cribs, etc sooner too.

I wouldn't worry about your SIL and her wedding. Don't plan your life around other people!

Sammy-Mae

When I got pregnant for DS I had similar concerns.  But guess what?  There was no thunder stealing.  The only time I stole the show at SIL's wedding was when I stood up to do the reading.  I was 37 weeks pregnant and DS had dropped.  My epic size and waddle (in heels) caused a bit of a gasp.  But other than that the day was still all about her.  I had DS a few weeks later and the show was all about me.  Unless you go into labour at her wedding nothing is going to distract from her big day.

rennie86

Thanks for all the great encouragement!