Would you rather...

Tigger & pooh

Have people talk to you about your loss or not? I find I want people to say something about it even if it is not helpful or stupid at times. I am more upset by the people who are pretending nothing happened or are avoiding me right now.

magdalina.h

I love talking about Aidan and I let everyone know that.

Petunia844

magdalina.h:

I love talking about Aidan and I let everyone know that.

this. 

jrebele

I find that I get angry if people don't acknowledge Sophia like she was never a part of our lives.  I would rather something be said even if it upsets me then ignoring her.

jbranden12

I love talking about Patricia, her life and the impact of her death. The greatest gift my pregnant/mom friends have given me is asking about my pregnancy with her and the details of her birth. It still hurts very much when people don't acknowledge her. If I see a family member or friend even now, almost 9 months later, who I haven't seen since she died they often don't mention her and I wish they would. It makes it very awkward for me. Just as immediately after her death, I want you to acknowledge her life before I can talk about anything else with you.

I have seen and heard in real life and on the bump where pregnant women complain about the "horror stories" they hear from other moms about stillbirth, PTL, or infant death. This is very hurtful to me. My daughter's life is a horror story to you?

OSUWifey09

I love talking about Devon. It hurts to talk about him because he's not here, but he's still my child and still a part of this family. I blog about my experience a lot and post my updates on FB so people don't think that I've magically forgotten about him. My Molly Bear came in yesterday, and I posted a picture of it on FB and Instagram - that caused some friends to reach out to me to see how I'm doing. I appreciated that they remember him still.

starburst0928

I LOVE talking about Bradley! Like the PPs, if people don't mention him or pretend he was never born, I get frustrated.

meli1025

I also love talking about Ava and I get upset when people pretend that she never happened.  That's what happened when I went back to work, and it was hurtful.  I know that people don't know what to say so I make a point of being the one to bring her up and let it be known that it's OK to talk about her.

fluttergirlmoonchild79

I love it when people want to talk about my son.  He was here, he existed.  We have memories.  I also think it helps people realize that not all pregnancies have happy endings. 

And I can attest to Magdalina loving to talk about Aidan.  I know her IRL and she always gets a really big smile on her face when she says his name. 

mrsneau

I hate the people who are avoiding me right now! the least they could do is say "I'm sorry for your loss" or "thinking of you"...

 

 

 

Bayberry12

meli1025:

I also love talking about Ava and I get upset when people pretend that she never happened.  That's what happened when I went back to work, and it was hurtful.  I know that people don't know what to say so I make a point of being the one to bring her up and let it be known that it's OK to talk about her.

 

I feel the same way.  Although it is extremely hard for me to talk about Stella without crying, she was real, she was born, we held her and named her.  And when people act like those 9 months never happened, it hurts so much.  

I think a lot of people don't want to upset me by reminding of her, but obviously I haven't forgotten.