Good Advice on transition to big bed

MommaKrae

I have reached out to friends and family for advice on sleep training during the transition to the big bed.  One friend just emailed me this and I thought I would share with all of you if you want to try.  She got this from a sleep trainer (which I had no idea even exsisted). Hope this helps some of you...

Her email:

If you have the resolve to correct it, you'll be in good shape.  My girlfriend didn't have the resolve to correct it and now she and her husband sleep in seperate beds every night because one of them sleeps with their oldest and the other in their master bedroom room with the new baby. BAD NEWS BEARS.

The key is establishing the goal you what you want without exception. Which is: Child, sleeping in her own bed, from ~7:30 - 8 pm. Unless she is deathly ill, there should be absolutely no exceptions to this. So, the best way to do this the following.

The first week WILL NOT BE EASY. Just like CIO was painful when she was 6 months. But so so so worth it.

1. Re-establish a good bedtime routine.
We often fall off this track when things are going well with bedtime, so get back on track with the routine leading up to bedtime. Remember, toddlers LOVE consistency and knowing what to expect. This no crib thing is NEW to her, she is trying to feel her way through it and know what to expect, what's acceptable, what's not.

2. DO NOT NEGOTIATE
No bribbing, no negotiating, no threats, no elf on shelf, no santa, no nothing. The resolve in your head and to her is: DD, you will sleep in your new big girl bed, like a big girl.

You will not apologize for it, you will not be emotional about it, you will be matter of fact, kind but FIRM and calm.

Why is this important? Because when she starts to see her behavior getting a reaction out of you, it becomes a GAME for her. She's getting to the age when she realizes HER behavior can change YOUR behavior and that's completely fascinating to her.

Master this technique throughout her toddlerhood and you will be very well served. I will tell you right now, I struggle with this everyday. My kids push my buttons and I react accordingly. It's only when I'm faced with my non-negotiables (like sleep) that I can find it in myself to become stoic and man-up to the challenge

Net, this IS one of those battles that you WILL PICK. And you WILL WIN.

3. Time for Bed
Read DD her book, sing her a song and tuck her in (or whatever ya'll do ). Kiss her good night, shut the light off, shut the door and then leave.

Caveat, some parents put a gate at the door so they can't get out. That's an option for you if you want. We didn't do this, but it has worked for some parents.

So, DD will obviously get out at this point. Stay close to her room those first few nights..... (a friend of mine and her husband did this with their son, and they sat on the steps and drank a bottle of wine the first night )

So, When she gets out, calmly say: "DD, it's time for bed." Take her back to her room, put her in bed. Kiss her goodnight and leave.

She will leave again. Do exactly as above. And one more time after that.

The 4th time she gets up. SAY NOTHING. SHOW NO EMOTION. DO NOT SPEAK. Just pick her back up and put her to bed.

You will probably have to do that many times the first night. She will cry, she will throw a tantrum, but keep doing it. DO NOT SPEAK.

At some point she will fall asleep and it will get easier each night.

4. Middle of the Night
Do exactly the same thing as above. The first time, you can say something like, "Hi DD, it's still night-night time. Let's go back to bed." Kiss her, "I love you, we'll come get you in the morning" Then. The next time and everytime after that, don't speak to her. Just put her back in her bed just like bedtime.

Hopefully, this will all be over in less than a week for you guys, but you have to gear yourself up for a couple of rough nights.

Can't tell you how important #2 is.

twocows

Excellent advice - thanks for sharing! We're not in big kid beds yet but this sounds exactly like what our nanny would say - and she helped sleep train our kids.

jknigh8

This is exactly what we did with our DD and it worked. It is a real PITA but it does work!