Am I overreacting?

jennbent

So we had our first PT appt with our new PT today.  She said overall, DS is doing okay lifting his head while on his tummy, which is why we were referred to her in the first place.  She said his legs are kicking great, but she's "concerned" about his arms.  She said they are too tight, he doesn't bend them real well at the elbow, and she would expect to see him bringing them to midline more at this point.  (He's 6 mos actual, 3.5 mos adjusted).  When I pressed her about her use of the word "concerned", she was very vague.  I said, "well what are we talking about here?  Like he's not going to be walking by the time he enters college or what?"  (Obviously I KNOW he'll be walking, but I was trying to push her to get her reassurance.)  But she just gave me some vague answer like, "well you just have to take it one day at a time and try not to look too far into the future because we never know what the future will hold. You're doing a good job by bringing him into PT so early"  WTF?!  

I left completely stressed out and pretty much in tears.  Does anyone know what she could have been referring too?  I was wondering about CP - but DH and I have looked up the symptoms before and he doesn't have any of them as far as we can tell.  I know he's behind in gross motor skills, but he was a micropreemie with severe, early onset IUGR.  I'm sure the stress he endured in the womb and coming out so early is going to take its toll on him.  So am I overreacting to her use of the word "concerned"?  

Anyway, she gave us some exercises to do with his arms.  We're getting EI involved starting tomorrow, so maybe they can get a different PT to come to our house that won't freak me out so much.  

Thanks for reading. Being a preemie mom is beyond stressful.  No one warned me that the stress doesn't just magically go away once you leave the NICU!!! Sigh.

KatFCo

I don't know about the actual issue, but sometimes when specialists or doctors say they're concerned it either means it's something they want to keep an eye on or something they think is an issue now.

Giving you arm exercises probably means she probably doesn't think it's serious and is correctible.

When do you go back? When you see her or another PT again, just bring it up and ask for specifics. Sometimes they may not be specific because they don't want to unnecessarily alarm parents.

Their jobs are to look for potential issues or delays and correct them as soon as possible, but definitely bring it up next time and ask for specifics.

jennbent

Thanks.  I will definitely ask for specifics next time - or if we see another PT in the future.  I am certainly kicking myself that I didn't get answers to what she meant specifically before I left because now I'm stressing about it until our next appointment a week from today.  

I really pay attention to the words people use, probably too much. I am an ex-journalist so to me, words really matter.  I hate to hear the word "concerned" when it comes to my son ya know?

thishappyhouse

I also often read into the words that doctors and therapists use, good or bad.  It is emotionally draining!   With that said, clearly you are doing the best thing for your baby by getting EI services.  Perhaps this therapist is an alarmist and there is nothing to worry about or perhaps she is picking up on a problem before anyone else has.  The truth is she doesnt know if it really is a long term problem and neither do you, but you both are going to do your best to help him work on what she has identified.  

keep asking questions, get second opinions and keep advocating for your baby.. you are doing an awesome job 

jennbent

thishappyhouse:

I also often read into the words that doctors and therapists use, good or bad.  It is emotionally draining!   With that said, clearly you are doing the best thing for your baby by getting EI services.  Perhaps this therapist is an alarmist and there is nothing to worry about or perhaps she is picking up on a problem before anyone else has.  The truth is she doesnt know if it really is a long term problem and neither do you, but you both are going to do your best to help him work on what she has identified.  

keep asking questions, get second opinions and keep advocating for your baby.. you are doing an awesome job 

 Thank you so much.  You are so sweet.  I really needed to hear this today.  :-)