feeling judged

taggiecb

Yea, I had a motive to come here. I had a tubal ligation a couple weeks ago. I have no regrets about, glad it's done, but when you know you're done, it leaves you with some feelings. I feel like I wish I could talk about these things to my friends, but I don't bring it up because I feel really judged by them for not "making" my husband get a visectomy. Any thoughts, comments, or similar situation?

ridesbuttons

Why would someone judge you for that?  Weird.

I have had several girlfriends get the job done with their last c-section.

 

Littledeer84

Im sorry. That really stinks. I don't have any advice but feel free to talk here, I am sure there are others who have great advice.

taggiecb

Because they get a big kick out of being really controlling of their husbands. It's like a keeping up with the Jones' thing. And if you can't keep your hisband in line, then you don't have a stable relationship.

LuckyDad

laceyjean1:

Because they get a big kick out of being really controlling of their husbands. It's like a keeping up with the Jones' thing. And if you can't keep your hisband in line, then you don't have a stable relationship.

LOL. If there's one key aspect to a healthy marriage, it's unilateral control by one party.

 

Just talk to your girlfriends in general terms about feeling kinda bummed that you are done having kids, and how it's a little sad every time the youngest passes a milestone and you know it will be the last time you go through that.

Manateearmz

Personally I would rather my husband be the one to get a procedure. HOWEVER that is what works for our family. I don't think I would judge anyone for what works best for them.

 

AundreaAgain

Brandi Bee:

Why do your friends give a shiit which one of you gets snipped?  I'd tell them it is really none of their business.

 

AND wouldn't "real" friends be supportive of whatever you guys decided. Plus, there are MUCH better things to get judge-y about. lol.

EVA116

My husband refuses to get a vasectomy (sp?) and I am done after this child. I knew going into our marriage that he would not get one ever. He did promise to read about it and know facts but that did not change his mind. He said he is fine with condoms....but I am not.

I will be getting the procedure done and I have no shame. I won't give two fricks what my friends say, if they know.

You did what was best for your family.

taggiecb

They annoy the crap out of me sometimes, but they're allI have. Abd I dib't ofteb share. Tgey make it hard to be close. It's impossible to live the way most of them say that they do, but what's the point in argueing with them?

littlemermaid

laceyjean1:

Because they get a big kick out of being really controlling of their husbands. It's like a keeping up with the Jones' thing. And if you can't keep your hisband in line, then you don't have a stable relationship.

Wow, your friends don't sound like they are very nice.  I sure wouldn't want to be one of their husbands.  You should never feel bad for a decision that you and your husband made together.  If your friends are going to judge you for it, then they aren't your friends.

AquaFlowers

I'm sorry you're being judged for that That's really rude of people to remark on something like that.