2WW Check-in 12/10

nawlinsgrl

My update is uninspired.  POASed again, and was negative, even though I kind of expected it again.  This was how far I was when I got my first +HPT last time, but that happened two days after feeling sick, so I'm holding tight to yesterday's nausea being that first wave of HCG hitting the body and tomorrow being my big day.

I have to admit, I'm officially starting to get nervous, and am trying my best to prepare for the worst.  The one thing keeping me from totally going off the rails is those sweet little frosties, although at this point, I question whether I'll ever get pregnant again.  I realize being almost 40 doesn't mean it won't happen, but I'm a realist, and I'm starting to worry.

At least I have DD, which is what all of us (DH and our parents) really cared about, just getting that one child, so I can live with not having another one.  I guess I just always envisioned either having 2 or none, but never 1.  Like I said, I can and will deal with that potential outcome, I just wasn't and am not quite prepared to yet.

Sorry for the Debby Downer update, but let's be real, we can't all be positive 24/7, and I figured this check-in is the perfect place to vent.  That being said, congrats again to Erin, and I hope the rest of you ladies have some good news, or are at least in a better place than I am right now. 

Mrs. Erin

nawlinsgrl:

My update is uninspired.  POASed again, and was negative, even though I kind of expected it again.  This was how far I was when I got my first +HPT last time, but that happened two days after feeling sick, so I'm holding tight to yesterday's nausea being that first wave of HCG hitting the body and tomorrow being my big day.

I have to admit, I'm officially starting to get nervous, and am trying my best to prepare for the worst.  The one thing keeping me from totally going off the rails is those sweet little frosties, although at this point, I question whether I'll ever get pregnant again.  I realize being almost 40 doesn't mean it won't happen, but I'm a realist, and I'm starting to worry.

At least I have DD, which is what all of us (DH and our parents) really cared about, just getting that one child, so I can live with not having another one.  I guess I just always envisioned either having 2 or none, but never 1.  Like I said, I can and will deal with that potential outcome, I just wasn't and am not quite prepared to yet.

Sorry for the Debby Downer update, but let's be real, we can't all be positive 24/7, and I figured this check-in is the perfect place to vent.  That being said, congrats again to Erin, and I hope the rest of you ladies have some good news, or are at least in a better place than I am right now. 

I know exactly how you feel.  I always imagined having at least 2 children.... maybe even more.

I'm freaking myself out with POAS.  I took another test this morning and it wasn't any darker than yesterday... if anything is seemed lighter.  The 2nd line is still there, but it seemed sooo light.  Now as I sit at work I feel like I have AF cramps and like I'm about to start spotting... like I always do before AF comes.  My beta is tomorrow.  At this point I just want to know so I can either celebrate or greive.

IF sucks.  The IVF rollercoaster sucks. 

preggyamy

I had IUIs on Fri & Sat.  I'll start POAS tomorrow to see if I can get a negative.  Good thing I'm insanely busy, otherwise I'd be in much worse shape! 

BTW, I ordered pregnancy tests on Amazon because they're cheaper than what I can find in the store.  Do you know you can "subscribe and save" for First Response pregnancy tests?  I thought that was kind of funny. 

nawlinsgrl

Mrs. Erin:

nawlinsgrl:

My update is uninspired.  POASed again, and was negative, even though I kind of expected it again.  This was how far I was when I got my first +HPT last time, but that happened two days after feeling sick, so I'm holding tight to yesterday's nausea being that first wave of HCG hitting the body and tomorrow being my big day.

I have to admit, I'm officially starting to get nervous, and am trying my best to prepare for the worst.  The one thing keeping me from totally going off the rails is those sweet little frosties, although at this point, I question whether I'll ever get pregnant again.  I realize being almost 40 doesn't mean it won't happen, but I'm a realist, and I'm starting to worry.

At least I have DD, which is what all of us (DH and our parents) really cared about, just getting that one child, so I can live with not having another one.  I guess I just always envisioned either having 2 or none, but never 1.  Like I said, I can and will deal with that potential outcome, I just wasn't and am not quite prepared to yet.

Sorry for the Debby Downer update, but let's be real, we can't all be positive 24/7, and I figured this check-in is the perfect place to vent.  That being said, congrats again to Erin, and I hope the rest of you ladies have some good news, or are at least in a better place than I am right now. 

I know exactly how you feel.  I always imagined having at least 2 children.... maybe even more.

I'm freaking myself out with POAS.  I took another test this morning and it wasn't any darker than yesterday... if anything is seemed lighter.  The 2nd line is still there, but it seemed sooo light.  Now as I sit at work I feel like I have AF cramps and like I'm about to start spotting... like I always do before AF comes.  My beta is tomorrow.  At this point I just want to know so I can either celebrate or greive.

IF sucks.  The IVF rollercoaster sucks. 

You are preaching to the choir!  I did a little Googling, and if what I found is to be believed, 5dp5dt is on the early side for HPTs.  Hard to believe, since it wasn't too early last time, but just holding out hope for the next 48 hours.  There is a little bit of comfort in knowing that's when the uncertainty will end.  I don't know how people with betas upwards of 14dp5dt do it!

I know you're equally stressed right now, but the fact that you are seeing two lines right now is an incredibly positive sign.  I agree about feeling like AF is on the way.  Even though I am on progesterone, I still get scared I'm going to look down and see she's showed up!

kimberm0511

Not really in a better place.  I HATE this.  I always think of the worst, but I am trying to stay positive.  However, I feel like too many damn people know about my IVF treatments, which pisses me off.  My mom keeps blabbing and I've told my close friends...who have told our other friends who are NOT as close to me and I just don't want to tell THAT many people if it doesn't work.  I don't even want to tell people if it does work!  I announced my boys' pregnancies so early and I was so dumb for doing so.  Anything can happen even if I do get a BFP and I just hate that so many people now seem to be involved.  I really want to POAS tomorrow, but I only have one digital in the house that I was saving.  I am so busy sitting the computer playing catch up on work that I don't even know if I will have time to get to the store..but I guess it is still too early to know for sure either way. 

 Ok...so now someone please jump on here with some positive vibes!

nawlinsgrl

kimberm0511:

Not really in a better place.  I HATE this.  I always think of the worst, but I am trying to stay positive.  However, I feel like too many damn people know about my IVF treatments, which pisses me off.  My mom keeps blabbing and I've told my close friends...who have told our other friends who are NOT as close to me and I just don't want to tell THAT many people if it doesn't work.  I don't even want to tell people if it does work!  I announced my boys' pregnancies so early and I was so dumb for doing so.  Anything can happen even if I do get a BFP and I just hate that so many people now seem to be involved.  I really want to POAS tomorrow, but I only have one digital in the house that I was saving.  I am so busy sitting the computer playing catch up on work that I don't even know if I will have time to get to the store..but I guess it is still too early to know for sure either way. 

 Ok...so now someone please jump on here with some positive vibes!

I have to admit, I smiled when I read this since it's virtually the same thing I experienced for IVF #1.  We weren't going to tell anyone we were doing IVF, but we had a lot of big events (baby shower, wedding, birthday party, etc.) during the tentative ER/ET scheduling, that overlapped our close group of friends, so it got to be too difficult to keep saying I wouldn't know if I could attend until the last minute without giving a reason why.

I was ok wiht telling our close friends, just hated that it got out to the bride, who was one of DH's closest friends and one of my worst enemies, who is the biggest sh!t-stirring blabber mouth!  

To top it off, my mother was giving all her friends, especially the hordes of bridge (cards) ladies she plays with, the blow-by-blow of the whole process!  I was so pissed, especially when she told them all about my BFP, when I told her we weren't telling our close friends til end of 1st tri! (they were all really good and backed off until we were ready to announce).

When the RE made a comment after 1st U/S about not being worried just yet based on what she saw/wanted to see, it set me off so bad I tore in my mom and told her if I had a m/c she was in charge of "untelling" everyone, and to tell them not to talk to me about it (I just wouldn't want to have to talk about it with them, despite the support).  

Luckily everything worked out fine, but I feel your pain about this one.  Even though I made the mistake of telling out friends we'd be trying again ASAP after having DD, I made up excuses to make them think it won't be until at least January, to give us some privacy for this cycle.  Our parents know, because there is just no way to keep it from them, but I have told them not to tell anyone, and for the most part it seems to be working. 

I don't think my mom is telling anyone, but the other day my dad ran into the real estate agent from the sale of my new house and she asked how we liked it.  He said we loved it, but might need a bigger house if we have twins,and proceeds to tell her we're actively trying!  He was all, what's the big deal, who is she going to tell?  Um, only this one other RE agent that we know who is a huge gossip, thanks dad!

So, very long story short, I have been in your shoes.  I only hope that your outcome is the same as mine, in that you have only good news to share with your growing support system!

kimberm0511

nawlinsgrl:

 

I have to admit, I smiled when I read this since it's virtually the same thing I experienced for IVF #1.  We weren't going to tell anyone we were doing IVF, but we had a lot of big events (baby shower, wedding, birthday party, etc.) during the tentative ER/ET scheduling, that overlapped our close group of friends, so it got to be too difficult to keep saying I wouldn't know if I could attend until the last minute without giving a reason why.

I was ok wiht telling our close friends, just hated that it got out to the bride, who was one of DH's closest friends and one of my worst enemies, who is the biggest sh!t-stirring blabber mouth!  

To top it off, my mother was giving all her friends, especially the hordes of bridge (cards) ladies she plays with, the blow-by-blow of the whole process!  I was so pissed, especially when she told them all about my BFP, when I told her we weren't telling our close friends til end of 1st tri! (they were all really good and backed off until we were ready to announce).

When the RE made a comment after 1st U/S about not being worried just yet based on what she saw/wanted to see, it set me off so bad I tore in my mom and told her if I had a m/c she was in charge of "untelling" everyone, and to tell them not to talk to me about it (I just wouldn't want to have to talk about it with them, despite the support).  

Luckily everything worked out fine, but I feel your pain about this one.  Even though I made the mistake of telling out friends we'd be trying again ASAP after having DD, I made up excuses to make them think it won't be until at least January, to give us some privacy for this cycle.  Our parents know, because there is just no way to keep it from them, but I have told them not to tell anyone, and for the most part it seems to be working. 

I don't think my mom is telling anyone, but the other day my dad ran into the real estate agent from the sale of my new house and she asked how we liked it.  He said we loved it, but might need a bigger house if we have twins,and proceeds to tell her we're actively trying!  He was all, what's the big deal, who is she going to tell?  Um, only this one other RE agent that we know who is a huge gossip, thanks dad!

So, very long story short, I have been in your shoes.  I only hope that your outcome is the same as mine, in that you have only good news to share with your growing support system!

 

Oh my..this is EXACTLY my life right now minus the wedding. And change the fact that MY dad is the real estate agent and keeps telling his office, clients, contractors, and god knows who else about this and how we need a bigger house and if I have multiples then HE needs a new house across the country!  My mom is quite the gossiper, but my dad is definitely catching up to her status.  Even my 90 yr old grandmother somehow has it in her head that I'm going to be having triplets soon and has told all of my cousins this.  WTF!?  I tried to explain IVF to her and that there would be NO triplets, but for some reason with all my dad's jokes she is convinced.  LOL.  I hope I get a BFP and can find this amusing one day soon.... 

jeannaqueena

Misery loves company. Wish I could come on and hold the hope stick for all of us but I have been having a rough day. I was at a play date with 2 pg women ugh you can imagine. When asked by the sensitive one when do you test she had 2 m/c near my CP this year I told her I am 10dpo and neg this morning. She was like its still early...the fertile Ho of the group chimed in that her 3rd child she got. Positive at 8 dpo...yeahhh right. Whatever I am not even going to explain to her how her body works and that she has no clue.

I am out running errands this afternoon while MIL watches DS. My pg yesterday dried a solid neg so at least I double triple know the trigger is gone. I have already been thinking about when we can do IVF again and how we will afford it, so soon after this one. I can't really imagine that this will work at this point. I don't have the magical timing and this all timed out so perfect.

nawlinsgrl

jeannaqueena:

Misery loves company. Wish I could come on and hold the hope stick for all of us but I have been having a rough day. I was at a play date with 2 pg women ugh you can imagine. When asked by the sensitive one when do you test she had 2 m/c near my CP this year I told her I am 10dpo and neg this morning. She was like its still early...the fertile Ho of the group chimed in that her 3rd child she got. Positive at 8 dpo...yeahhh right. Whatever I am not even going to explain to her how her body works and that she has no clue. I am out running errands this afternoon while MIL watches DS. My pg yesterday dried a solid neg so at least I double triple know the trigger is gone. I have already been thinking about when we can do IVF again and how we will afford it, so soon after this one. I can't really imagine that this will work at this point. I don't have the magical timing and this all timed out so perfect.

 

Sorry you're having a rough day too, but glad we can all be here, even if it is to commiserate.  I figured you might not be having the best day, since I've noticed you tend to post later when that's the case.  Of course, it could just be a coincidence, but it's what I've noticed.

I am so tired and all morning I've put off an assignment I promised to finish today.  Hard to concentrate during the 2WW, ugh.  Time to go knock this thing out.

jeannaqueena

nawlinsgrl:

jeannaqueena:

Misery loves company. Wish I could come on and hold the hope stick for all of us but I have been having a rough day. I was at a play date with 2 pg women ugh you can imagine. When asked by the sensitive one when do you test she had 2 m/c near my CP this year I told her I am 10dpo and neg this morning. She was like its still early...the fertile Ho of the group chimed in that her 3rd child she got. Positive at 8 dpo...yeahhh right. Whatever I am not even going to explain to her how her body works and that she has no clue. I am out running errands this afternoon while MIL watches DS. My pg yesterday dried a solid neg so at least I double triple know the trigger is gone. I have already been thinking about when we can do IVF again and how we will afford it, so soon after this one. I can't really imagine that this will work at this point. I don't have the magical timing and this all timed out so perfect.

 

Sorry you're having a rough day too, but glad we can all be here, even if it is to commiserate.  I figured you might not be having the best day, since I've noticed you tend to post later when that's the case.  Of course, it could just be a coincidence, but it's what I've noticed.

I am so tired and all morning I've put off an assignment I promised to finish today.  Hard to concentrate during the 2WW, ugh.  Time to go knock this thing out.

I hope you got your assignment done!  

You totally pegged me that I have a hard time coming on here when I am down.  Today has just been a crap day.  I was posting earlier from my phone (sorry for the typos and being kinda short).  Today started with a dream last night where I got my period, then a very fertile friend came over (still in the dream) and let her 3 boys jump on my bed.  Anyway, I guess I am thinking this is my body's way of telling me that I am not pg, my subconscious talking to my conscious state or something.  I do remember with DS that I did dream I was PG the month we conceived him.  I remember that dream so vivid. I was holding a baby and never wanted to wake up b/c I loved that baby so much.  This dream was equally as vivid.  I know we are all stressing and I guess I am just coming to the realization that I didn't have any frosties and had the 3dt.  I know it could happen, but odds are not in my favor.    I am so scared I won't have any more children.  I always dreamed I would have 3, I should be trying for baby #3 not doing IVF for baby #2.  

Last whine.  So, I have been taking cronine and switched to endometrin today.  OMG it feels like I am starting AF every second!  I think I would prefer the PIO over this any day!  I actually didn't mind the cronone at all.  

tracieduncan

HPT was negative again.  I called RE and told a little white lie...told her we were leaving for vacation next monday and since they don't do betas on the weekend she finally agreed that I could test on thursday.  Just could not wait a whole other week! Woke up today super sad because that nausea I had yesterday was totally gone and my boobs didn't hurt nearly as much.  Then tested and gave up.  Crawled back into bed and had a little cry.

 After 2 failed IUIs I guess I went into this not believing it would actually work.  Which is why I'm not horribly shocked right now.  Numb is a better word.  I bought a 2 IVF package so I guess I'll do another cycle in the coming months.  We are going to start a home study for adoption in January too.  I just really really want another child..or two.  Just sucks- August would have worked out so nicely with DH's work schedule to give birth.  Blah!  I just don't understand how people do this for multiple cycles...its just too much mental torture.  GL to everyone testing in the next couple days.    

tracieduncan

Jeanna, I totally understand what you are saying.  I was so sure I would do a 5dt and would have a ton of frosties.  Boy was I wrong!  I am so scared of DS being an only child.  Just sad to think that I might never get to do the infant phase again.  And also sad to go through all the shots/monitoring/ER/2ww again.  Miserable! 

nawlinsgrl

jeannaqueena:

I hope you got your assignment done!  

You totally pegged me that I have a hard time coming on here when I am down.  Today has just been a crap day.  I was posting earlier from my phone (sorry for the typos and being kinda short).  Today started with a dream last night where I got my period, then a very fertile friend came over (still in the dream) and let her 3 boys jump on my bed.  Anyway, I guess I am thinking this is my body's way of telling me that I am not pg, my subconscious talking to my conscious state or something.  I do remember with DS that I did dream I was PG the month we conceived him.  I remember that dream so vivid. I was holding a baby and never wanted to wake up b/c I loved that baby so much.  This dream was equally as vivid.  I know we are all stressing and I guess I am just coming to the realization that I didn't have any frosties and had the 3dt.  I know it could happen, but odds are not in my favor.    I am so scared I won't have any more children.  I always dreamed I would have 3, I should be trying for baby #3 not doing IVF for baby #2.  

Last whine.  So, I have been taking cronine and switched to endometrin today.  OMG it feels like I am starting AF every second!  I think I would prefer the PIO over this any day!  I actually didn't mind the cronone at all.  

Assignment got done, wasn't difficult, just required me to stay focused, haha!

So sorry about the dream, I agree about feeling like they are telling us something.  Regarding no frosties, I will do my umpteenth reminder of the fact that I didn't have any last time and still got pregnant.  We know they put the best two back, so don't give up hope yet. 

I know it's way easier said than done, but just hold on a few more days, and you'll have your answer, whatever it is (ok, not the most inspired comment, but as we get closer, I realize I want reality, not sunshine and rainbows blown up my ass. ).

nawlinsgrl

tracieduncan:

HPT was negative again.  I called RE and told a little white lie...told her we were leaving for vacation next monday and since they don't do betas on the weekend she finally agreed that I could test on thursday.  Just could not wait a whole other week! Woke up today super sad because that nausea I had yesterday was totally gone and my boobs didn't hurt nearly as much.  Then tested and gave up.  Crawled back into bed and had a little cry.

 After 2 failed IUIs I guess I went into this not believing it would actually work.  Which is why I'm not horribly shocked right now.  Numb is a better word.  I bought a 2 IVF package so I guess I'll do another cycle in the coming months.  We are going to start a home study for adoption in January too.  I just really really want another child..or two.  Just sucks- August would have worked out so nicely with DH's work schedule to give birth.  Blah!  I just don't understand how people do this for multiple cycles...its just too much mental torture.  GL to everyone testing in the next couple days.    

Sorry you are a member of our -HPT club, tracie.  Good for you getting beta bumped up though.  The wait is stressful enough, let alone waiting so long.  I wanted to do the same thing, but since mine is scheduled for 12DPO, I know there is no way they will push mine up.  Wishing you the very best of luck in POAS and beta over the next few days.