How Big is Too Big?

makeene

Hello Ladies-

 As it is coming time for my shower I want your opinions on some things. My husband and I just got married and we did a small wedding (30 people). This upset A LOT of our friends. 

 My husband and I both work as bartenders and worked in downtown Orlando for many years. We are both social people with big friend circles, some with kids but most are still single. I also have a big family (4 sisters, re-married parents) the whole thing. 

With our wedding being so small I wanted to make the baby shower something bigger to include those friends who just didn't make the wedding list. Budget was only $4000 with a full paid brunch and drink menu.

I thought nothing about my recent guest list of 90 people until I saw some of your posts on this blog. The baby shower is really a baby barbecue open house at my mothers (who has a huge back yard) and since January in Florida isn't too cold we are renting a tent and just getting a couple kegs. We really just want it to be a come, spend time with us, have some cocktails, play some games, and be no pressure.

With that being said is 90 too much? My mother doesn't care and is so excited for the baby shower but I just wanted your opinions on the theme and guest list number.

 PS. We are also doing no wrapping for gifts if they are brought. After 3 friends who recently had baby showers doing 2 hour+ openings I would hate to put my single friends through that and expect everyone to sit there gift after gift after gift...

rhubarb123

I don't have an issue with 90 on the guest list because probably a 1/3 of those poeple won't be able to come for one reason or another (that is what happened in my case anyway).  I know a lot of people on here have issue if there are so many that you can't formally speak with all of them but I've been to showers with just 30 people and the MTB never spoke to me except to say a "glad you could come" kind of thing.

I think the theme is great...BBQ and relaxed especially for your single friends.

I do have an issue with the unwrapped gifts though.  Personally I would never participate in that kind of thing and even if an invite said that...I would still wrap it (but that might be just me).  You'll have to look at each gift anyway since this is a shower and people expect you to unwrap/look at their gift.  2+ hours to unwrap gifts is ridiculous.  I had 60 people at my shower and it took me about an hour.  I didn't actually unwrap 60 gifts - some people went in together on a gift and many were gift cards.  I spent probably about 1 minute opening each gift...some less/some more.  Don't spend a long time talking about the gift or to the person who gave the gift.  Open, acknowledge, thank the person (if they are there), and move on.  Make sure you have someone handing you the gift, taking away the paper, writing down what it is and from whom, and taking the gift from you.  Then repeat.

FemShep

A baby shower is, specifically, a gift-giving event to "shower" the mom to be with gifts. If you're going to have a baby shower, not opening gifts is rude. Asking for unwrapped gifts comes across even worse-it sounds as though all you care about is the loot and you can't even be bothered to unwrap a gift.

You have options, though. First, many friends will not be upset at not being invited to a shower, especially guys. Showers are nowhere near the significance of a wedding, and if people want to give you a gift, they will, shower or not.

Second, a larger, informal BBQ shower doesn't require everyone to sit through gift opening. Open the gifts in a section of the party location, and continue to have other activities available. People who want to watch you open gifts will, others will do other stuff.

if what you really want is a party, that's cool too. Just don't mention gifts, a registry, or anything else. Invite people to a BBQ, with no mention of baby.  

LadyDelilah

DH and I had a HUGE wedding and a HUGE shower and a HUGE meet the baby party. It wasnt something I wanted. 30 people would have been awesome but thats just my immediate family. DH is one of 6 and I am one of 4 our events be they family BBQs or baby/bridal showers are usually 100+ with out even trying hard.

Liz4444

If your mother is willing to accomodate and pay for that many people, it's fine.

Neve tell people HOW to give you a gift. It's rude.

whynotwhynot

discobelle:

I think it's important to open gifts.  If you don't want to take the time to open 90 gifts, I'd cut the guest list or have a no gifts type party instead.

 

 

This.  I have been to showers where way too much time is spent on gifts and I agree that it does get really boring after an hour.  This said, it is not something that can be skipped, just do it quickly!  Don't spend a minute reading every word of every card and then trying not to rip wrapping paper.     

J9bondgirl

I have a big Polish family, and typically our wedding and baby showers can be quite large as they usually only do one for everyone: both sides of family and friends. I don't think 90 is too big, but I agree with others that you have to acknowledge the gifts. That's the whole point of the shower. Plus, believe it or not, there are people who want to see what you got. If you have a "train" of people helping you (1 to almost completely unwrap the gift, you show off said gift, another person to write down the gift and who it's from, and yet one more to stack and organize opened gifts.) it will go by pretty fast. Also, in a backyard BBQ setting, if people want to pay attention and watch you open, then they will, if they don't want to watch, they will entertain themselves another way.