Should I reach out?

MagickalNarwhal

I just heard a rumor that my cousin is thinking of adopting. We have a small family and we've always been friendly but never close. I immediately thought about sending her an email just to say hi and tell her I'd love to answer questions or chat about adoption at any point.

But, she knows I adopted, and she has my email. If she hasn't reached out to me maybe she doesn't want to talk about it?

What would you do?

sgb721

Its tough, I might give her some space for a bit as she could misinterpret your offer of someone to talk to for support.

Dr.Loretta

I would shoot her an e-mail and just say if she wanted to talk about anything, you'd be happy to do so. And leave it at that.

DH's cousin adopted before we did, and we never discussed it. I wouldn't have minded talking to them about it, but they never reached out to us.

elissaann26

I think sending her an email to offer to chat would be really nice.  That way the ball is in her court and at least she knows it is an option. 

annalisel

Hi there. I'm in the reverse position. I'm the cousin who is considering adopting and I'm not sure whether to reach out to my 2 first cousins who are adopted. We are not close enough for them to have shared directly about their feelings on their closed adoptions. I'm afraid of making them uncomfortable, but I also wonder if not saying something directly would also make them uncomfortable? 

annalisel

Oh. I misread. I thought you said that you were adopted.

I agree that a casual email offering to talk would be best.

 

 

IRR

If I were you I would send a message to her just opening the door if she has any questions.  My SIL's sister adopted three of her children and they never really talked to me about anything until I saw them at Thanksgiving time which was two weeks before my world fell apart.  Not sure if they will reach out again as we start to determine our next steps and their youngest is now 17 so the world of adoption has changed dramatically, but I may have taken the olive branch if it was offered.  There was no way I would have called them up on my own.  GL