The Baby Wait?

maryoosa

Has anyone been watching this on logo? Not that any of us really need more anxiety around adoption, but my partner is insisting on watching this...I think she's just trying to think about how to deal with a variety of different situations that might arise and this is the only queer reflection of adoption that's currently available on TV...

ycristina84

I LOVE this show so much. It's very honest, and real, and the people have been lovely so far. Last episode was a little tough, because BM chose to parent, but it was still great. I really recommend it! 

maryoosa

ok. Right now I'm not gonna watch that episode. But I will eventually. I just need a little positive right now.

Foster1Mom

Ditto. I think it does a great job of representing emotions.

joyebell

I find it sad as an adoptee that people would put our pain as newborns losing a mother at birth and our mothers pain and loss up as entertainment. I cant imagine growing up and seeing my own relinquishment on TV. How damaging to a child?s well being, self confidence and self value to find out that their own mother who supposedly made such a loving choice got a pay check to boot.

ycristina84

joyebell:

I find it sad as an adoptee that people would put our pain as newborns losing a mother at birth and our mothers pain and loss up as entertainment. I cant imagine growing up and seeing my own relinquishment on TV. How damaging to a child?s well being, self confidence and self value to find out that their own mother who supposedly made such a loving choice got a pay check to boot.

Have you watched it? Not saying you don't have a point, but I think they really document it very respectfully. You do see the pain, but you also see the incredible love these mothers have for their babies. Not one episode has left me feeling negative, even when it's brought me to tears. All sides of the triad express pain and love, and acknowledge what the other person is feeling. I don't feel like it's exploiting for entertainment, it isn't "Teen Mom". And all the adoptions portrayed have been open adoptions, where the adoptive parents and the children will maintain an open and healthy relationship with the BM. In fact, the BMs post regularly on the FB page, and they are all very positive about the show and their process. They also do not get paid to appear on the show.

sgb721

I haven't seen it but now I'm curious

joyebell

?Have you watched it?? Every episode. ?You do see the pain, but you also see the incredible love these mothers have for their babies.? The ones pain you don?t see is the one adoption is ?suppose? to be about. ALL infants including adoptees are geared as humans at birth to want their OWN mothers love, breast, touch, smell and voice. They may learn to live without her but at birth she their universe. Maybe if they had loved them just a little more??? ?All sides of the triad express pain and love, and acknowledge what the other person is feeling.? Again not all sides of the so called triad are represented. Only two. ?the adoptions portrayed have been open adoptions, where the adoptive parents and the children will maintain an open and healthy relationship with the BM ? I?m going to let you calling my mother a bowel movement go. We have no idea if they will remain open or not. Open adoptions close everyday. Twenty states do have laws that allow enforcement of open adoption agreements, but that enforcement is most often mandated ONLY if the COURT sees openness as best for the child and must be included in final decree. Nine states won't enforce... these agreements, which means that birthparents in those states have no legal recourse once the adoption has been finalized. In the remaining 21 states, the statutes are vague or don't address the issue of open adoption, and the decision of whether to enforce is left to the discretion of the courts. ?In fact, the BMs post regularly on the FB page, and they are all very positive about the show and their process.? The mothers ( whose relinquished children are still very young) are still under the adoption is love bomb that agencies and Pap throw at them for their brave ,selfless, sacrifice. Which bites if you happen to the be the one being sacrificed. ?They also do not get paid to appear on the show.? I know for FACT they are compensated for being on the show. Bought and sold hello therapy. ?Not one episode has left me feeling negative, even when it's brought me to tears.? You?re the one doing the adopting so I would think not.  As an adoptee  I will stand by what I wrote . JMHO

joyebell

I do apologize that is just one of my triggers. Just seems so disrespectful for an adoption board who pushes adoption PCL. How hard would it be to put an om on the end and make it BMom. I would never refer to my adopted mother as my infertile mom IM out of respect. I?m sure that might hurt her as BM hurts myself every time I read it.  

maryoosa

I did wonder how children could be protected from seeing what would be terribly hard for them; but then, I think it could also be wonderful if the child could see exactly how difficult the choice was for his/her birth mother/parents. While it wouldn't be a panacea for the multitude of feelings a child might have about his/her adoption, it might help them understand what was at stake for their birth moms and why she made the decisions she made. 

 Having many friends and relatives who grew up in adoptive families, I know that they have all experienced the loss of their birth parents with varying levels of grief and/or acceptance. Additionally, the bulk that I know who worked with agencies for their adoptions certainly comply and in fact look forward to exchanging pictures/letters/visits with the birth moms of their children.

ycristina84

"I?m going to let you calling my mother a bowel movement go. " Wow. I certainly was not intending a very simple comment about a show to turn into that. I'm fairly sure you knew I meant no disrespect, nor was I trying to be rude, but in case you didn't - I'm sorry. I have many friends and family members on all sides of the triad, and I have never had someone tell me that BM was offensive. Again, I'm sorry. I was just stating my opinion of the show. One of the moms on the show stated that she didn't get paid to be on the show, and that it was filmed a year ago. 

Ginger71

ycristina84:

"I?m going to let you calling my mother a bowel movement go. " Wow. I certainly was not intending a very simple comment about a show to turn into that. I'm fairly sure you knew I meant no disrespect, nor was I trying to be rude, but in case you didn't - I'm sorry. I have many friends and family members on all sides of the triad, and I have never had someone tell me that BM was offensive. Again, I'm sorry. I was just stating my opinion of the show. One of the moms on the show stated that she didn't get paid to be on the show, and that it was filmed a year ago. 

Wow. I agree. Definitely not cool. One of the things I love about this board is the respect we all have for each other. No one was calling names. Maybe it is because you are new, Joyebell but I think you will come to  find we all support each other and name calling is not part of how we do it.

Ginger71

I tried watching but right now I think I need a break from all the drama....good or bad. I'm so emotional around the holidays and my EDD is a week before Christmas and it hits me every year. I have it DVR'd though in case I feel brave

maryoosa

OK, now I need to know, what does an STD stand for in wedding speak!?