Innapropriate TTGP Comments

victoria+james · December 2012

Oh, this will be fun... I seem to be a magnet for inappropriate comments!
1. Coworker asked if I was pregnant and when I said no, she grabbed my stomach and said something to the tune of "but you've gained so much weight!"
2. When asked if we have any kids I said no "are you the problem or is it him?"
3. I've been wanting a baby over a year, DH isn't ready. So this one really got to me... "you need to hurry up and start having kids, you are being selfish keeping your husband waiting"
4. "God has a plan, if he hasn't blessed you with a child maybe he just knows you won't make a good mother right now..."
5. "oh, you don't want a baby... You have to give up everything." Really? Then why did you choose to have a third?
6. "Being pregnant sucks, I'm miserable, I have morning sickness and I'm going to be home all day alone waiting for DH to get off work." Really? I would love to have the ability to be a SAHM and I would kill to have morning sickness if it meant I got to have my baby in a year.

ky29 · December 2012

At 10 dpo on my last cycle I tested, negative. We went out with some friends that night to a bar. I had a couple drinks.

A couple (that I don't really like..) was sitting across from us and the girl said "So, when are you guys going to have a baby!?"

As many times as I hear that question, I never know what to say. We tried to ignore it. She said "HEY, so when are you having a baby!?" DH just says "Maybe" and tried to move on. She takes her hand, covers DH's face, looks at me and says "Forget him, so seriously, when?" I just stare at her and say nothing.. hoping she'll get the point. After asking me about 3 more times, she puts her hand down & looks at DH again, asking him. He says maybe a few times. She asks again. He, very sternly said, "Well she's not pregnant now is she!?" and points to my drink. She stopped.

I was so upset. I shut down. I was so mad that she kept asking! We left about 5 minutes later and while walking out I started crying. DH didn't realize I had tested that morning. He said he never realized how much that question can hurt, until we starting going though this. And that you may never understand what a couple is really going though.

sarah0632 · December 2012

"When are you guys going to start trying? I thought you said your one year anniversary? We got pregnant the VERY first month. I know so and so and they tried for a year without success and now they're signing divorce papers"

lorirachel · December 2012

savannah_girl:
1) From a male anesthesiologist (aka, Dr). "your Catholic, it is your job to have children"

2) Same male Dr. "Your daughter is beautiful, that would br a crime against God to only have one child".

3) a female RN (coworker): You are getting older now, you need to think about having more children" (I turned 29 this week).

4 Another female RN (also co-worker): You don't want your daughter to grow up being spoiled, you have to have more than one.

5) "It is not far on your daughter, she needs some one to share the load of taking care of you when you are old"

7) From my manager (whom I hate). : "when are you going to have another baby?" I then told her that nothing was in the works. She said good, her staffing was tight now with some many people leaving from school, she can't handle more mat. leave right now. I HATE HER.

OH EM GEE to all of those!

TammyDoubleB · December 2012

daynakako:
A very good guy friend of mine just called me tonight to tell me the joyous news that he was going to be a daddy.... And then proceeded to tell me how his life was over and that he was not happy or excited at all they were not trying He knows about all three of my losses. I guess guys just really don't think. Or maybe he is still in shock. Now I will continue picking my sobbing mess self off the floor, drag myself to the fridge and drink my wine right from the box. I swear sometimes infertility and trying to get KU sucks so bad.

((hugs))

As for the OP. This is the one I hate so freaking much..."You just need to relax, and it will happen. Just enjoy your time with each other and don't make it such a chore." Um...OK? Our sex life is not a chore...it is pretty great, but whatever...

direy25 · December 2012

sarah0632:
"When are you guys going to start trying? I thought you said your one year anniversary? We got pregnant the VERY first month. I know so and so and they tried for a year without success and now they're signing divorce papers"

WTF?

peanutmuse · December 2012

katehutsen:
DH and I are getting alot of "you are still young, you have plenty of time!" That really annoys me since we want to have kids several years apart!! I would like to not be taking care of newborns in my late 30searly 40s!!!

I'm going to have to say that this is one of the inappropriate TTGP comments that really irritates me. Kate, remember that there are people here who are in their 30s and 40s. And in case you want to start the old standby, "it's ok for some people, but not for me," remember that people didn't necessarily want to be in that position. Myself included. But I don't have a choice.

direy25 · December 2012

peanut+muse:
katehutsen:
DH and I are getting alot of "you are still young, you have plenty of time!" That really annoys me since we want to have kids several years apart!! I would like to not be taking care of newborns in my late 30searly 40s!!!
I'm going to have to say that this is one of the inappropriate TTGP comments that really irritates me. Kate, remember that there are people here who are in their 30s and 40s. And in case you want to start the old standby, "it's ok for some people, but not for me," remember that people didn't necessarily want to be in that position. Myself included. But I don't have a choice.

Yes

TammyDoubleB · December 2012

katehutsen:
DH and I are getting alot of "you are still young, you have plenty of time!" That really annoys me since we want to have kids several years apart!! I would like to not be taking care of newborns in my late 30searly 40s!!!

o-0 Oh my! (Check my siggy)

sarah0632 · December 2012

direy25:
sarah0632:
"When are you guys going to start trying? I thought you said your one year anniversary? We got pregnant the VERY first month. I know so and so and they tried for a year without success and now they're signing divorce papers"
WTF?   

Brutal hey? That was one conversation with a friend of mine that I see about twice a month. I felt beat up afterwards.

runningpenguin · December 2012

One of my employees insists that running will keep me from getting pregnant and she has a point. DH isn't necessarily turned on by my acid washed compression pants.

ky29 · December 2012

Ohh & someone at work told me "Just starve yourself and you'll get pregnant right away. That's what they do to get horses pregnant!"

Seriously?

GermanGirl2007 · December 2012

direy25:
peanut+muse:

katehutsen:

DH and I are getting alot of "you are still young, you have plenty of time!" That really annoys me since we want to have kids several years apart!! I would like to not be taking care of newborns in my late 30searly 40s!!!

I'm going to have to say that this is one of the inappropriate TTGP comments that really irritates me. Kate, remember that there are people here who are in their 30s and 40s. And in case you want to start the old standby, "it's ok for some people, but not for me," remember that people didn't necessarily want to be in that position. Myself included. But I don't have a choice.

Yes Yes

Shari537 · February 2013

VitaLuna:
The "when are you going to get pg" doesn't bother me as much any more, because I think people mean well and many don't know we're trying.

This week, a coworker got pg right after going off BC (super skinny girl). They know we're trying, and one of the people I work with said "skinny people always get pg fast". (I'm overweight, but not huge). Umm... WTF people. I already have issues with being self-conscious about my weight, and now you imply that I'm not pg because I'm not skinny? I almost went for the throat punch.

The throat punch comment made me giggle. Sometimes more often than some I feel the same way.

nicole mackenzie · February 2013

stufie:
spacepotatoes:
My dad said "oh, so you're still messsing with that science?"
Best line ever.

Oh science! What are you thinking putting faith in that witchcraft...

RachC624 · February 2013

grahamlove:
penelopemaria:
"You don't want a baby...trust me. They're exhausting."

Oh yeah! My friend...who is currently pregnant with her second always says 'you're crazy for wanting this...I'm so sick and tired all the time. Are you sure you want all this!?' Uhmmm yes. Yes I do. Why should your exhaustion keep me from it? I would gladly be up in the middle of the night with a baby and throwing up because of my pregnancy...yes, gladly.

Do we have the same friend?! I hear it on an almost daily basis from a girl I work with.

danielledee89 · February 2013

grahamlove:
trebeksucks:
The comment I get the most, the comment I absolutely loathe is, "If you relax, it will happen!".nbsp; Oh, if only it was so simple!nbsp; Why didn't I think of that??nbsp; Here I am, wasting thousands of dollars in IUI's and medications and medical appointments when if only I would relax, it would happen!nbsp; The other comments I hate are about TTC and my dogs.nbsp; I have two cocker spaniels and they are members of my family... I love them in ways I cannot put in to words.nbsp; People like to tell me when I have a baby I will want to get rid of my dogs and cat, that once I have a baby the pets won't matter anymore.nbsp; I suppose I won't really know until it happens, but I am 99.999 sure my pets will always be members of my family, regardless of baby status. nbsp;

WTF??? Who says that?! Because people don't ever have both a baby and pets....

I get that too! I work with animals and so often my coworkers will say things along the lines of "but you have ANIMAL babies why would you want a HUMAN baby ?! What about your animals!?" my sister and I grew up surrounded by animals and tons of people every day have both animals and kids I don't see what the huge issue is. I have cats dogs and horses and I would love them all the same If I were to have a baby. Some people just don't understand.