RSVP or Regrets Only

firespirit717

Is it okay to have the invitations ask for regrets only rather than an RSVP by date? Trying to save money here and don't want to buy RSVP cards for people to mail back or have a bunch of people calling to RSVP.

mccall35

I'd find a "regrets only" comment very confusing. I agree with PP, give an RSVP date and an email address if you don't want phone calls. However, some guests will still likely call (grandparents etc.) if they don't feel comfortable replying by email. RSVP cards are definitely not necessary for a baby shower IMO. 

highlights

Just list an RSVP e-mail and phone number. Most guests won't use it anyway.

EastCoastBride

As bad as people are w/ RSVPing, "regrets only" makes it even worse.  If you don't really care about the #'s, then sure, do regrets only.  But if you want some concept of how many people are coming - you need to get RSVPs and you need to follow up w/ those you don't hear from.

I went to a "regrets only" shower this summer.  They were expecting 60 people.  I think about 20 or 25 came.  They had so much food left over. All because they based it on those who only said "no, we're not coming".

highlights

EastCoastBride:

As bad as people are w/ RSVPing, "regrets only" makes it even worse.  If you don't really care about the #'s, then sure, do regrets only.  But if you want some concept of how many people are coming - you need to get RSVPs and you need to follow up w/ those you don't hear from.

I went to a "regrets only" shower this summer.  They were expecting 60 people.  I think about 20 or 25 came.  They had so much food left over. All because they based it on those who only said "no, we're not coming".

 I did the same thing. I had ONE person call to say they were not coming. Half of the invites didn't show up.

wittyschaffy

just to echo PPs, I think that with how awful people are about RSVPing for events, asking for regrets only sets you up to get all sort of goofed up on your actual head count.  If you do RSVP (no matter what), you can at least be reasonably sure that the people you haven't heard from are going to need a reminder call.  Regrets only, you're left assuming that everyone is coming which is never the case.  

ungraceful13

My aunt did regrets only by email or phone number and that seemed to work fine. My SIL did RSVP and it worked fine as well.

LatteLady5

highlights:

Just list an RSVP e-mail and phone number. Most guests won't use it anyway.

+1

rhubarb123

I agree with the majority of others that Regrets Only does not work.  The problem is that people do NOT call even if they are not coming so you are left thinking they ARE coming.  You end up expecting people who never had any intentions of coming - wasting food, money, time, etc.  At last with RSVP and a "by date" you can call anyone that did not RSVP and ask if they are coming or not.  You can't very well do that with "Regrets Only".

SunAndRain

Don't do regrets only. People don't bother to respond if they are not going so you'll have less attending than you should expect. How many less? That is the question you won't be able to answer until the party -  too late.