First instance of family not understanding...

EAMommy

DH and I have made the decision to have LO baptized in the hospital this weekend. We don't want to bring him out in public for quite some time after he comes home from the hospital, and we don't want to wait until he is 5-6 months to have him baptized, so this is what's best for us and him.

My brother is a pastor and lives about an hour away. We wanted him to baptize our baby. When I called him last week to ask him to baptize LO in the hospital, he hemmed and hawed and made several requests of us. We honored his requests (calling our pastor, having our church be the one to order the baptism, and asking our pastor to be present at the baptism). I called him back to let him know that his requests had been met and he told me to seriously think about what I'm doing (not inviting family or having a big church baptism celebration). I told him that our intent is to have a "recognition of baptism" in the spring followed by a baptism celebration. He then told me that he had to check with my SIL to make sure that this weekend would work for them. I said that if it wouldn't work to let us know if there was an evening in the next week or so that would work...

He called back to tell me that he is too busy and that if this is what we really want to do then our pastor can do it... I'm so disappointed and devastated. We are not intentionally excluding family, but in doing what is best for our son, we cannot invite everyone! Rather than have hurt feelings, we've decided to just have it be DH, myself, and the pastor(s)...

I know this is the first of many instances to come... Just needed to vent for a minute and didn't know where else to go...

highlights

I'm not a preemie mom, but I have several ministers in the family. The first sounds extremely standard. As for not feeling comfortable doing it, I think that is something that you just need to accept. I'm sure he didn't mean to be rude, he just has some reservations or didn't feel comfortable with it. Baptism is so personal, its hard to know the feelings that are attached to it.

 

Best wishes for your whole family though!

 

EAMommy

Thanks girls. I know it will be fine and I'm very happy to have our pastor do the baptism. I'm friends with his wife, and she will be present also.

I guess I'm just concerned about telling our families that we went ahead and did it--especially since a non-family member is performing the baptism. (There are actually 4 pastors in my family, but due to distance/schedules, we only asked my brother... And our LO will be the first to be baptized by a non-family member in 2 generations.) To prevent drama beforehand, we've decided not to tell anyone until after the fact. (As my husband said, "Once it's done, it's done. They can be mad about it but they can't do anything about it!") Tomorrow night I'll send out a text/email that says something like this, "This afternoon LO became part of God's family. While we always dreamed of a big church baptism, it wasn't what was best for him. In the spring, when he is stronger and RSV/flu season is over, we'll have a recognition of his baptism so you can all celebrate with us." Praying that our families understand!