Discipline and receptive language delay

kcisthebombdotcom

I'm having a difficult time setting boundaries/rules with my youngest child. She does have a receptive language delay so it's tough to tell when she's being intentionally defiant or she genuinely isn't understanding what I'm asking of her. I use positive discipline on my older child and it works wonders with him but it has zero impact on her. Any advice?

MirandaHobbes

At that age we just tried to make it through the day DS had a speech delay and they tried PECs pictures a lot to get him to understand "first this, then that", so for example, he'd have a meltdown if we went into the grocery store, we'd show him a PEC picture of target and then a picture of the playground so he'd start to understand "first target, then playground". What worked (for us) better than that was plain old bribes (suckers were a constant staple in my purse for about a year).  I'll actually never forget the day we went to Target and he didn't ask for a sucker or treat (he was a little over 3). Now at 4 he'll grumble, but understands that there's some things he has to now in order to do fun stuff later.

For day to day boundaries (not touching hot stove, not pulling cats tail) we'd do a calm and firm NO, and if necessary time out, sometimes many times. I read 1-2-3 magic and it really helped. We especially used the "Mom take a timeout" mentality- if DS wasn't understanding being put in his bedroom I'd remove myself- walk away, go in bathroom, shut door.

mommytoconnor

Wow can I relate.  My son has expressive and receptive delays and discipline is horribly difficult.  He thinks everything is funny and goes right back to what you didn't want him to do. Sometimes I think it is intentional, sometimes he's sort of investigating and doesn't understand what I say.  I bought 123 magic book but haven't read it yet, but many moms have recommended it.  Good luck, I'm in the same boat.

kcisthebombdotcom

mommytoconnor:

Wow can I relate.  My son has expressive and receptive delays and discipline is horribly difficult.  He thinks everything is funny and goes right back to what you didn't want him to do. Sometimes I think it is intentional, sometimes he's sort of investigating and doesn't understand what I say.  I bought 123 magic book but haven't read it yet, but many moms have recommended it.  Good luck, I'm in the same boat.

We get a similar reaction here so I'm guessing there's got to be some level of understanding and she's just doing it to be defiant. Then other times I'm not quite sure if she gets it--for example when we go out to a store she cries to be taken out of the cart. I try to explain to her in simple words she needs to stay close/hold hands or she has to stay in the cart. She doesn't listen then when I put her back in the cart seat it doesn't seem like she understands why she's being punished. It sucks.

I've heard good things about 123 magic, but part of me feels wrong to punish a child who might not understand exactly what she's being punished for.

kcisthebombdotcom

MirandaHobbes:

At that age we just tried to make it through the day DS had a speech delay and they tried PECs pictures a lot to get him to understand "first this, then that", so for example, he'd have a meltdown if we went into the grocery store, we'd show him a PEC picture of target and then a picture of the playground so he'd start to understand "first target, then playground". What worked (for us) better than that was plain old bribes (suckers were a constant staple in my purse for about a year).  I'll actually never forget the day we went to Target and he didn't ask for a sucker or treat (he was a little over 3). Now at 4 he'll grumble, but understands that there's some things he has to now in order to do fun stuff later.

For day to day boundaries (not touching hot stove, not pulling cats tail) we'd do a calm and firm NO, and if necessary time out, sometimes many times. I read 1-2-3 magic and it really helped. We especially used the "Mom take a timeout" mentality- if DS wasn't understanding being put in his bedroom I'd remove myself- walk away, go in bathroom, shut door.

The picture charts are a good idea. You also reminded me that we used to do the mom time out thing when my son was younger. I might have to try that again with her. Thanks!