what to do — The Bump
Postpartum Depression

what to do

Is anyone else having problems with their spouse? I am not sure if I am overreacting or if I may have PPD or the Baby Blues. But I just get so frustrated with him and we have been fighting constantly, like every single day!  I am not sure how to fix things between us and when I tell him how I feel he just ignores it and doesn't care, he blames our fights because I don't like that he has friends which is not the case, I will admit though that I do not like that I feel as though his friends are the PRIORITY over his family!!! He has done a lot of not so great things with his friends when putting them before myself and our son so of course I have a problem with it! He is not willing to go to counseling he says we are too young to go and I am not sure if I am just over reacting or how to fix things! Every day I am irritable and get mad at him and then I'm crying and afraid we aren't going to make it. Any help or suggestions?
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Re: what to do

  • Therapy?
    lolololo
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  • imagetheresat858:

    There is no such thing as being too young to go to counseling... that's a weird argument.

    I would try to sit down with him when you are both calm and present your worries... ie that he is valuing his friendships more than your relationship, and that while you do not expect him to give up his friendships, he might have to make a few sacrifices now that you are trying to build a family together.  

    I also find that my husband does not help out with things unless I am very specific about what I need him to help out with.

    This! 

    I don't quite understand how it is that men just don't notice what needs to be done, but they don't. It sometimes doesn't feel fair that I have to completely manage the family and household, but directing him on what he needs to do is easier than doing it all myself.

    I agree that you both need to sit down and talk when you're both calm. Let him know that you understand his side of things. With a new baby he might be feeling like he's losing his youth, his friends, his identity, so the constant friends thing may be him trying to get that all back.

    You only get what you give... if you're dishing out harsh words and accusations, you're going to get negativity returned to you. Think about what it is that his friends are giving him that he's missing....(and I'm not trying to point fingers here), but they are probably pumped when he gets there. Do you make it clear that you're excited to see him? Do you remind him you love him? With all the focus on a new baby, he might not feel wanted by you anymore.

    And I agree that too young for counseling is not any sort of reason not to go. Maybe he's too scared to admit that the relationship has gotten to the point of therapy...

    Good luck.

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