Mom's expecting #2 (and those with 2+)

missyjg

What's your greatest fear in regards to bringing home another child? I know it's cliche, but I look at my daughter and she gets 100% of my attention right now when I'm home with her. But soon, there will be another baby in the house, and will there be enough love to go around?  I'm really scared that I won't give enough attention to DD or to the new baby. IDK, maybe I'm overthinking things, but I really am afraid DD will hate me or that I won't bond with the baby b/c I'm giving too much attention to DD.

Those with 2+ kids, please chime in on what it's really like with 2 children! Is there anything I can do to prepare DD? Are the sibling classes good to go to?

 

Penny424

I have really been thinking about this too! I am nervous that DS will hate me because we are bringing another baby into our lives. I am nervous about how hard it is going to be with two!!! AHHH BUT I think this is normal... I hope

kaylakim

I'm pg with #3 and had the same fears as you about having DD2. My DD1 had my undivided attention and I felt guilty for bringing another child into our family and taking something away from her. I stressed myself out the whole pregnancy and then when DD2 was born, all my worries went away. My girls get along so well and having DD2 is probably the best gift I could have given DD1.

Now that I'm having #3 I'm not worried about the love and attention being spread around but my sanity and energy! :-) 

You'll be totally fine and things are more crazy for sure but also more fun!

jegoffin

im nervous about having 2 lo's in general. dh works 60+ hours a week, i work pt also and im afraid of not being able to "do it all" 

missyjg

kaylakim:

I'm pg with #3 and had the same fears as you about having DD2. My DD1 had my undivided attention and I felt guilty for bringing another child into our family and taking something away from her. I stressed myself out the whole pregnancy and then when DD2 was born, all my worries went away. My girls get along so well and having DD2 is probably the best gift I could have given DD1.

Now that I'm having #3 I'm not worried about the love and attention being spread around but my sanity and energy! :-) 

You'll be totally fine and things are more crazy for sure but also more fun!

Thank you!

MLS0630

I remember being in your shoes! I am now pregnant with #4 and only worry about trying to get four kids ages 4 and under out of the house by myself. Take some time now to create a box of special "big kid" toys for your oldest to play with when you need to nurse/feed baby.  That way they get something special and positive when you need time with the baby.  

And make sure you start creating a relationship between your oldest and your youngest - I am so glad I did it from day one.  All of my kids are so considerate of each other and love to play together.  They very rarely get mad at each other because my oldest understands that the babies are younger and still learning.   I try to make it a point to spend time with each child doing something they love but also encourage relationships between kids.  That way two of them are playing while I spend time with just one.  

To be honest, going from 2 kids to 3 kids was almost easier than 1 kid to 2 kids.  Once you learn how to divide your attention, you are fine. And you'll find that you'll have more than enough love to give both babies, your heart tends to grow exponentially for them. (Your energy however, haha, may lack at times!) GL!

eaglesfan700

I have seen this fear talked about a lot, so you are not alone.  Maybe it's because I am the youngest of 7, but it never occurred to me to worry about dividing attention or love between them.

My first two were 16 months apart, so DS didn't know enough to be jealous.  It was hard the first month, but honestly it was a lot easier than I had anticipated it being.

I do worry with this one, since DS and DD are older, that they will act out.  But DS will be starting kindergarten and DD will start pre-k next year, so hopefully they will be excited about that

Amanda&EricB

I'm afraid of messing up the bond between my son and I. I SAH with him and we are almost always together. I think (hope) he's too young to have it affect him as far as feeling pushed out- he'll be 22 months when the baby comes. I don't think he'll remember life before the sibling. But it's a huge fear.

gemini2005

The main thing I'm nervous about is not getting out as much as we are used to. DS and I go on play dates, shopping trips, family visits etc. pretty often.  I can't imagine lugging two kids around and I know I will feel guilty when I'm not able to give DS all of my attention.  I tell myself that I'm doing him a favor by giving him a sibling and it makes me feel a little bit better.  

eaglesfan700

gemini2005:

The main thing I'm nervous about is not getting out as much as we are used to. DS and I go on play dates, shopping trips, family visits etc. pretty often.  I can't imagine lugging two kids around and I know I will feel guilty when I'm not able to give DS all of my attention.  I tell myself that I'm doing him a favor by giving him a sibling and it makes me feel a little bit better.  

Not going to lie, the single worst thing about having 2u2 was physically leaving the house.  Making sure everyone was fed, change, clothed, strapped in and that I was somewhat presentable was so much work. 

BUT once we were out it was totally worth it. We went out and did something every day.  I am a SAHM, but I would go nuts in the house all day

luckylindy

I'm nervous about bringing another baby in and how I am going to manage 2. My son will be 18 months when this one comes so he won't really remember a time when he was an only child, but I still feel guilty that he's not going to grow up solo and I'll have to split my time.

danigirl7181

I thought people were crazy when they asked this before, but now I understand. I worry that she will feel a little left out. She is a big mama's girl. 

Today I asked DH if we will think LO #2 is as cute as DD. I just look at her and it amazing me how beautiful she is. I hope I will feel the same about baby #2. I know it's a crazy thought, but I still wonder.  

alkinney

I'm most worried about having a challenging baby. Dd1 was so amazing and sleeps so well.

mommytomillie

OMG, I wanted to post this, I am freaking out, I currently have a 7 month old, and they will be 14 months apart when this one arrives! I am so nervous!

solsburyhill

I'm not worried about love and attention.  Love multiplies, it doesn't divide!  As for attention, it'll be good for DS to share attention : )

My DH travels quite a bit for work so all I'm worried about is the logistics of managing two LOs on my own.  But hey, that's what grandmas are for right? 

Tara*N*Chris

mommytomillie:

OMG, I wanted to post this, I am freaking out, I currently have a 7 month old, and they will be 14 months apart when this one arrives! I am so nervous!

me too, my little man will be 7 months next week.  I am most nervous about grocery shopping.  It was hard enough with just 1 and his car seat in the basket now I will have two.  I need to find a good carrier so I can have DS in the seat and carry the new baby. 

i also think I will never again get a full night of sleep, hopefully I can get them on a similar nap,schedule so if need be I can get a nap every once in awhile 

laurenmichael725

In the more immediate time after the baby is born, I am most nervous about not sleeping!  It was so difficult for the first few months with my 1st when I was constantly up all night...but at least I could try to rest my eyes during the day when she napped.  I am terrified of how it will be when the new baby isn't sleeping at night and my daughter isn't sleeping all day.  My mom says I'll just be walking into walls for 2 years like she was!  Ugh!