Really? (a vent)

fluttergirlmoonchild79

I have a cousin who has a daughter almost 2 months younger than Corbin should be.  She was born on my birthday (which kind of makes it a double suck).  She asked for our address the other day - we moved a few months ago and a lot of people have asked for it, I'm assuming for Christmas cards.  I get something from her today and it's an invitation to her daughter's first birthday party!  We're not close relationship wise and we live 3 hours away from them.  So pissed right now.  Really wanted to email her saying "for what should be very obvious reasons we're not coming to your daughter's flucking birthday party!"  Hell, I've only been around her once and couldn't look at her.  I ended up just saying "DH and I will not be attending the party.  Have a happy holiday."  I'm just so pissed right now.  I get that there's things that most people probably wouldn't think would be that hard for us but a first birthday party for a child 2 months younger than mine should be?  Seems obvious to me, even if the shoe was on the other foot.

jbranden12

((hugs)). Unfortunately, I do not think something like this would be obvious to most people. And she might have walked a line between inviting you because you're family and not inviting you and risking that you'd be hurt by not being included? Not saying she even thought about it though as she probably didn't.

jess123456

Lots of hugs to you. No matter what she was or wasn't thinking that still sucks big time.  I can definitely understand this feeling like a stab in the heart even if that was far from intended. 

Cincy/Toronto

I actually had the opposite happen to me and I was upset. I went in for a normal induction on 9-26 and Lillian was born 9-27 and wasn't going to live. My neice turned 1 on 10-10-11 and we didn't get an invitation because her mom thought it would be hard. I told her that She's still my neice and I love her with all my heart and while I am grateful for where her heart was, I would like to be able to make the decisions, and not have people make them for me. I know that I am going to have bad days and good days and maybe I'll get something on a bad day and I'll say no and maybe I'll be angry and feel like that person didn't think or take our feelings into consideration, but maybe I'll receive something on a good day and want to go and be happy for them and for that child.

It's personal preference, but I don't want to have decisions made for me, and because of that, I know that I can't let myself get mad at others. Or else, I'm going to stop being included in things and then people are giong to stop thinking about me and my daughter and it's going to be very lonely.

Though, if it's someone you aren't close to at all and just wants to make the big blow-out deal, don't even get worked up about it. Too much negative energy & stress hormones aren't going to help you at all. Just toss it and move on, I wouldn't even have RSVP'd.

lolee465

I totally get how you feel. After reading pp I guess everyone must be different. I'm with you though. My nephew was born the day before I went into labor with Jillian, and about a month later I got a Christening invitation. I was kind of angry that they sent it...I would have been perfectly happy to be left out.  We didn't go, since neither of us could handle it. Then about 2 weeks later we got an invitation from the same SIL to go to our niece's 2nd birthday party. We love her, but we're just not ready...