Attachment Parenting

Potty training a highly sensitive child

Hi all. I am sorry I generally come here to ask questions these days...I used to post here a lot more and then I got caught up in my BMB with my second pregnancy and now I am only here sporadically. As a group I just think you ladies will be more helpful to me than most in some respects. If anyone remembers me asking for advice about how to make bedtime better for DS, you ladies were a big help. We moved his toddler bed into our bedroom and everyone sleeps so much better and bedtime doesn't take nearly as long. It's great. Thanks so much! :)

So anyway, now my question is potting training. DS (32 months) is quite sensitive (is anyone familiar with the highly sensitive child book? That's him for sure). It's awesome in so many ways, but it means he is fragile in ways as well. Potty training has been child led thus far, with us encouraging but not pushing him to use the potty. He is almost perfectly potty trained in undies or naked at home, but he still prefers a diaper most days. He had an accident last week and it seems he really hasn't gotten over it. The last time I did get him to wear undies, I tried to put a pair of pants on him over the undies so that he could accompany me to our cold basement and he started panicking, telling me he would pee in the pants and he couldn't wear them. In the end, he decided to stay upstairs so he wouldn't have to wear pants. I don't know how to make the leap to him being diaper-free.

The reason it is all of a sudden important to urge him toward being diaper-free is because we are most likely moving in with my ILs in a few months (hopefully by March) and I want to minimize the chances of him peeing on their stuff. I figure if he is totally in undies at home for a month or so before the move, maybe we can minimize accidents even with the big transition.

I've thought about just running out of diapers and sorta forcing him into it, but I really worry that will be quite upsetting for him. I don't want it to be an upsetting experience.  Does anyone have any other advice, particularly if you are also dealing with a highly sensitive child? Do I just need to back off and continue letting him go at his own pace, regardless of the move?

Thanks again ladies! 

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Re: Potty training a highly sensitive child

  • I don't think my daughter was very sensitive, but she certainly was very stubborn! She didn't potty train until she was 3 1/2 (so that's what, 42 months??). I couldn't rush her AT ALL. Every time I tried to use some training method, she'd regress.

    I even spent a weekend timing the times she sat on the potty, and EVERY SINGLE TIME she sat, she didn't go, and when she got up and pulled her pants up, she'd pee in them. I have never washed so many peepee clothes in my life.

    I finally just left her alone, dealt with the pull-ups for a couple more months, and one day she just said "Mom I want to just wear panties" and that was the end of it. She peed the bed a total of 2 times, and had only a handful of "I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time because I was just too busy playing" accidents.

    So, you're not alone with a late trainer. Personally, I would continue with letting him go at his own pace. It sounds like he's on the right track, especially if he is keeping his diapers dry on the days he wears them; keep praising him while down-playing the accidents, and hopefully he will gain some more confidence in himself. Good luck!

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