Would you ever...

saturdaynightdoubletree

Just trying to see if I'm alone on this and being judgemental. I just don't understand why my friend is actively trying to get pregnant after multiple conversations with her husband who doesn't feel as though they should have more kids. Their son is school age, and often on the back burner to school and work. I kind of agree with the husband, but know when she asks my advice she doesn't really want it. WWYD?[Poll]

sschwege

I voted 'no' because 99.9% of the time I think that's the way it should be.

The only exception I could think of was my cousin's Aunt.  She had always wanted kids, she met and fell in love with a man who already had kids from a previous marriage.  They moved in together, but she eventually broke up with him because he said he didn't ever want anymore kids and that was a deal breaker for her.  A few years later he came back into her life and basically said he had lost her once, he didn't want to ever lose her again, they could have a child together.  They got married, years went by and he kept putting her off.  Eventually in her late 30s she put her foot down and said, "I'm getting pregnant with or without you!"  He finally agreed and they did have a daughter together.  I think in her case she did the right thing, but other than an extreme case such as this it should be a mutual agreement.   

saturdaynightdoubletree

MrsPM:

If she ever got pregnant, he would resent her and the baby. I would say tgeir marriage would not end well because there will be major trust issues.

I totally agree, and want to help her because she's a friend. It's so hard though because her H and DH have been friends longer and we feel like we get brought into the middle of a lot of their issues. I honestly just don't get it... I can be spiteful at times when I'm angry, but only to the point of not talking to DH for an hour or two, not something like this. I just feel bad, especially for the kid!

acaudill75

Oddly enough, this happened the opposite way for me. I didn't want another baby, and DH did, and he did a late night drive by and lo and behold, I got pregnant. My fault for not being on birth control, but he knew I didn't want to be pregnant again. I'm super happy I have DD2, but I did make him get a vasectomy, and was there when he got to make sure he went through with it. I would say no, don't do it, unless you are prepared to go it alone.

meganandchase

I said I wouldn't do it.  However, if any person is certain that he or she does not want a child, it is up to that person to deal with the birth control.  If he doesn't want a child, he needs to wear a condom or get a vasectomy.

acaudill75

meganandchase:

I said I wouldn't do it.  However, if any person is certain that he or she does not want a child, it is up to that person to deal with the birth control.  If he doesn't want a child, he needs to wear a condom or get a vasectomy.

Exactly.

saturdaynightdoubletree

acaudill75:

meganandchase:

I said I wouldn't do it.  However, if any person is certain that he or she does not want a child, it is up to that person to deal with the birth control.  If he doesn't want a child, he needs to wear a condom or get a vasectomy.

Exactly.

I totally agree, but would be upset if DH decided this on his own and got snipped before talking to me about it.