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Dads & Dads-to-be
When Fear Overtakes Rational Thought
My wife is 10 weeks, 6 days. The last few days she has had some dark brown discharge - similar to what happens right before her period. Last night as we got ready for bed, she noticed a small amount of bleeding when she went to the bathroom. A very small amount. But it was bright red.
So far it has been a completely issue free - and for the most part symptom free - pregnancy. The bleeding stopped almost as soon as it started, but we called the overnight nurse line anyway.
I know spotting is not uncommon - even bright red spotting - but this irrational fear has completely overtaken me. Didn't sleep a wink last night and am waiting for them to call and see if they will move up our ultrasound which is scheduled originally for Thursday for a NT scan.
I think part of the issue is the fact that so far all we've done is go to a 6 week initial doc visit where we just talked through the process and went over what to expect. We've yet to see an ultrasound or hear the heartbeat - making this all the more terrifying.
The reality is my wife is 31, in good shape, works out a few times a week, eats healthy, is not a smoker, drinker and has no family history of pregnancy issues. So I know the odds are all in our favor.
Anyway, I just had to vent that all out. Thanks for listening.
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Re: When Fear Overtakes Rational Thought
They couldn't find a source of the bleeding - but said the cervix is completely closed. They tried to find the heartbeat with the Doppler but had no luck at all - which she said not not uncommon at 10w6d.
We have a NT ultrasound set for Thursday - so she just had them pull blood for a beta test, and said we'll have to wait till Thur for the Ultrasound.
So long story short - they are not concerned - but did little to put aside our fears. We're looking at a long 48 hours ahead of us. If last night was any indication, we are not going to get much sleep.
Spotting is fairly common, but still freaky.
Yeah, I keep hearing to be prepared to go home with more questions than I came to the doctor with, and we are starting to find out that's true. My wife is 9 weeks 5 days, and our first heartbeat hearing day is on the 10th, so I can't wait to do that, but every little pain or weird feeling for her is something she freaks about.
I am a different sort, though. I have always been the type of person that can stay calm when I realize that there is not a single thing I know or can do to make something change. This pregnancy stuff generally falls under that category!
Good luck!
Kelly
Wow, I'm jealous. Usually things I have no control over are the hardest for me.
How confident are you of the 10w6d number? Could it be that you are off by a week or two? Those numbers have huge ranges so it's hard to say where it should be. If your date is off even a little bit it could skew that number.
Hope things turn out. I know it's hard, but try to stay positive. Stressing won't change things one way or the other.
We used a fertility monitor, and haven't had sex since she ovulated. So we're pretty positive on the date.
trying to stay positive, but it's getting harder....
My thoughts are with you and hoping all is well.
Spotting is common. Also, if you had sex recently that could cause some bleeding as well. It happened to me and they said it was normal, they called it "old blood".
Good luck man. Keep us informed. Most of the guys here have gone through this and had both good and bad news. They can offer some advice, how they cooped, etc if indeed your fears come true.
I really hope and pray they don't and everything will be fine and you will get some sleep tonight.
Good luck and stay in touch!
Sorry for your loss. It absolutely sucks and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. As RTV said, many of us have unfortunately been through this. If you have questions or just need to vent we'll be here.
Just try to be there for each other right now.
Dude,
I'm so sorry. This might not help at all...but we lost two before we had a successful pregnancy. Hang in there, it's tough right now, but you two will be okay and YOU WILL have beautiful, healthy children. Right now, in this season, there are other plans for you, but know that it will happen.
For now, you are in all of our thoughts and give yourself some time to grieve and be there for each other and before you know it, you both will be back in the game and welcoming your new addition.
I'm sorry.
Sorry to hear about this. I think a majority of us fathers here on the board have had to deal with this at some point.
It does suck, but you will heal and eventually you will want to get back on the horse. But deal with the loss and remember that there is always a reason why these things happen.
Just wanted to say a thank you to everyone. My wife is home and recovering and we're doing ok. Well, as ok as one can be.
We opted for a d&c to stop the bleeding which was getting very traumatic for both of us.
But I have faith I'll be back on this board soon. While we are both saddened and full of grief, we are also refusing to let this stop us.
Thank you all again, and I'll see you soon!