Normal adjustment feelings or something more? — The Bump
Postpartum Depression

Normal adjustment feelings or something more?

Lately I've been feeling like I'm doing a pretty shiity job at this whole mom thing.

She'll fall asleep in my arms and I'll try to put her down either in her swing or on the boppy or in her bassinet or even just lay her down on my chest so I can lay down and sleep and she'll wake up and start screaming in 5 minutes. She is constantly overtired but I can't get her to sleep and stay asleep. She loves to comfort suck but won't take a paci from me. I feel like the only thing that will keep her quiet is to pop her on the breast, which gets to be pretty painful, especially when it's just for comfort. Sometimes I get so frustrated that I'll yell, which I immediately feel horrible about, and it usually ends with me crying.

I stay at home with her so it's just me and her all day. Some days I can't put her down and I'm lucky if she will sleep for 20 minutes so I can get something to eat. My DH works days, so he'll usually take her for a bit in the afternoon when he gets home, and I take her on weeknights so he can sleep. We try to split weekends pretty evenly so we both have some down time.

I looked down at my DD this morning and a thought popped into my head that maybe I don't smile at her enough. I feel like I'm always frowning or just neutral faced towards her. Which is stupid because I know on my good days pretty much all I do is smile at her.

 I don't feel like this all the time. I do have good days. I don't know if it's because I've been not feeling well the past few days, or money-worries, or family worries (very sick grandfather in law), or holiday travel stress. Or a fantastical combination of all of the above. 

I've talked to my DH about this, and he doesn't think it's ppd, just that I'm stressed and overtired and still adjusting to DD and all that comes with her. However he's not a big believer in depression as a thing anyway and doesn't believe it needs medication for treatment. I just don't know.

So I guess my question is are these feelings normal? I know my hormones are all out of whack and leveling off, but I'm not sure how much actually IS just me adjusting and coping or if it could be something more. Should I talk to my doctor?  

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Re: Normal adjustment feelings or something more?

  • I think it is pretty normal, any mom I have talked to has days like this. My D/s is 3 months and I felt like this a lot at first. Now I am having less and less days like this.

     But only you know how you are feeling, don't put off talking to your doc. if you have any thoughts that you might should.

    On the D/H thing, I understand My D/H is the same way about nerve pills and depression. But  if I thought I needed them you best bet I would take them.

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  • Thank you guys. I think I'm going to make an appointment with my doc just in case. I have a history of depression and I'd just rather be safe than sorry.

    It's just frustrating trying to talk to DH about it. He is an absolutely wonderful husband/father, does SO MUCH to help out, especially when I'm having a rough day or time with DD. But when I talk to him about feeling down, all he ends up doing is making me feel worse about feeling bad in the first place. We have talked about this, and it's something he's working on, but knowing that doesn't help on a bad day, you know?

    We do have a moby wrap. Sometimes she absolutely loves it and sometimes it just seems to make her more upset so it's pretty hit or miss. I've only really worn it around the house though, so I think she might be more ok with it if I was out and about and walking around. 

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  • imagekiraliz2:

    These feelings sound pretty normal. However, your OB can give you a screening for PPD where he/she will ask you a series of questions. If you think it might be PPD I would just go in and get screened. Better to be safe than sorry.

    On a side note, have you tried wearing your baby? When my LO doesn't want to be put down, I pop him in the moby wrap so I can get stuff done. GL and hang in there mama!

    I would love to wear my LO but I am going back to work so wearing her is not an option.  I find myself feeling like pp all the time.  I am so overwhelmed and my LO is so overtired all the time and I have to deal with all this mess on my own while DH is at work.  Then he comes home after working all day and wants to do his stuff.  I am to the point of checking myself in to a hospital because I can't take anymore of her reflux/gas/colic issues and the lack of control I am feeling.

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