Got the "No more deadbeats" lecture — The Bump
Blended Families

Got the "No more deadbeats" lecture

I love my father to death, and I appreciate more than words can express his love and support thru all of this stupid crap that I really didn't want him involved with in the first place.  He's stuck by me and will continue to stick by me until the end. Mom too. But dad has been the driving force behind a lot of the support they've given me.

As a result of all his emotional and financial help and support, I had to get the fatherly lecture this weekend.  He pretty much said, "No more bums or I'm cutting you off."

I can't I agree that I've always dated bums or deadbeats. But I've picked my share of bad news men.  I'm way ahead of you dad. Not only am I well on my way to figuring out what that's all about so that I can put a stop to my bad cycle, I'm resigned to living a single life forever if that is what it's goign to take to not have to up with any man's crap again. 

No more cheaters.  No more liars. No more bums. No more drama. Any sign, and I'm checking out.

It's not even about me. I say this and I think not only do I not deserve it...but DD absolutely does not.

I have no choice but to break the cycle.

"he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval

Re: Got the "No more deadbeats" lecture

  • I dated a lot of deadbeats too.  Thank goodness for understanding dads.  Keep the faith, your dad sounds like a wonderful man, so obviously they exist.   But you know now that you will be just fine on your own.  And there's great freedom in that.
    Mama of 2: one who grew in my womb, both who grow in my heart.
  • OMG, there's much freedom.  Something H never understood. He thinks women need men. I was raised very independent. And that's one of the reasons why i was not so discerning. I knew I could take care of myself, therefore, why would I need my man to be so reliable? I could "afford" to go run with the fun guys. Right?  Wrong.

    Trying not to pscho-analyze myself too much, but it's important I get down to my reasons for my poor selection before I even begin to think about dating again.  That's just one theory.

    I'm giving myself time to figure things out, but not too long. Life has to go on.

    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
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  • Good for you. Breaking the cycle can be hard, but you are right your DD and YOU deserve the best. Whether that means being single for a while or longer then awhile. When the time is right, and you are confident and independant the person you deserve will show up.
  • Do we have the same dad?! lol My EXH lost his job due to drug use, drained our accounts, left me with all the cc bills, ran off to live with his GF after causing me to misscary while my parents were at the Mayo clinic with my little brother who was undergoing chemo for stage 4 cancer, came into the house with a gun and buddy to "search" the house because he was sure I had a new man living ther, and to top it off came to the house one day while I was at work with his mommy to clean the house out of everything (my favorite was he too the toilet paper! lol)

    Fast foward 3 years. DH is an amazing man and father and my dad HATES him. When I was pregnant DH wouldnt even let me carry groceries into the house. DH works hard and then comes home and actually helps out around the house and with our little man.DH never left my side when we were in the hospital when little man was born, and Skypes with SS daily to make sure SS does his homework. Dad will even call DH to come and help him with things, and DH will drop what he is doing to go and help him. Some dads can never be pleased. Pretty sure my dad just doesnt like it that I do not need him to do everything for me. Plus it doesnt help that DH and my dad are exactly alike.

     

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