Pressure from family?

aimee58

So we're not telling anyone that we recently started TTC. DH and I are the first for each family to get married of all the siblings. Both my in-laws and my family keep asking when we'll have a family. I'm afraid that it will take a while and the more people ask the more stressed I get about it. We're really excited for a family too and but I don't want to get my hopes up about it happening right away.

 Has anybody else dealt with this? How did you react/make it stop?

cowgirltu

My mom and grandmother were all over me for years about when I was going to have a family.  I told them that 9 months after I got ku there would be a new baby in the family but all their asking wouldnt make it happen any faster and after a while I just ignored all the comments. 

joshandpanda

we never were pressured to knowing when... 

but I would suggest, like cowgirl said, just ignore them (I know it'll be hard) but stand your ground...

GL in trying! 

magdalina.h

My mom kept asking me when we were planning on ttc # 3. I asked her if she wanted a text every time we had sex...that got her off my back. Don't stress about it. Just tell them you are just enjoying being married and aren't ready for kids yet.

Twinkie0612

Neither of our parents ever asked when we were going to have kids, but we got the question all the time from extended family, friends, and coworkers.  Usually I just brush off the question with a vague answer like "Someday." 

Now that DH and I are starting to open up about our IF issues, I just might have to change my answer to "Whenever the thousands of dollars worth of IF treatments that we do each month decide to work."  I know that people are not intentionally trying to be rude when they ask this question, but honestly I am tired of answering this question.

KenziK

My mom has been talking about me having babies since I was 18, my dad started asking when my DH and I would have kids a couple months after we got married. The in-laws never bring it up though and when someone even mentions babies they say there better not be any grandchildren for years. DH's sister was a teen mom and had two kids with two different dads by the time she was 25, so her situation is a little different and I'm going to have kids whenever I want lol

aimee58

Thanks ladies! I really am excited to start my family, but I'm just nervous that it won't happen right away and if everyone keeps asking I may just go crazy!

nlscroggins

we were off the hook as soon as my SIL announced she was KU. as upset as i was that we werent going to have the first grandkid for DH's parents, i was soooo relieved that people can shift their attention to her instead of my fertility issues lol.

 good luck to you!  

starshineamator

I've sort of just accepted this as par for the course. Spouse and I got married 4.5 years ago and pretty much have been asked "so, when are you going to have kids?" by almost all of the family members (on my side at least) every holiday. It just becomes one of those things that you ask about once you are talking with a married couple that doesn't have kids, in my experience. So I wouldn't let it bother you or allow yourself to feel pressured by it. My response was always something like "we'll just see what happens" or "when it happens it happens".

orangemell2012

We aren't telling anyone! It is so much easier that way if/when we get pregnant I want everyone to be surprised. They ask but we just kind of dismiss the questions or say it will be awhile.

victoria+james

My mom tries so hard not to pressure us and says whenever we are ready she'll be thrilled. But she also brings up babies all the time and how magical it is to have kids and how fin it'll be. Even though her words say she isn't pressuring, her actions are. There isn't much way to make it stop, but ignoring it seems to work alright.

babydoll22308

aimee58:

So we're not telling anyone that we recently started TTC. DH and I are the first for each family to get married of all the siblings. Both my inlaws and my family keep asking when we'll have a family. I'm afraid that it will take a while and the more people ask the more stressed I get about it. We're really excited for a family too and but I don't want to get my hopes up about it happening right away. nbsp;Has anybody else dealt with this? How did you react/make it stop?

We get pressure to have another. it does stress me out at times. However, i am content with the timeline we chose and have no desire to shard that with anyone. I tell them that when we are ready, they will know via a pregnancy announcementwhich comes after first tri. i like sharing that time with DH and i let ppl know that. Lol