Are they for real?!?!

amberx19

My husband and I have been married almost a year now, and I really want to start trying, but he says hes not ready. I'll admit, I can get annoying sometimes trying to convince him we are ready to financially handle a baby. But when I tell my friends and relatives (most of whom are either TTC or have kids already) that I would like to start trying and he doesn't, they say, "just stop taking your pills! Say it was an accident." Like, REALLY? I couldnt force a kid on him like that. Do people really do that? It really bothers me when people say things like that. I really dont know what to say back either! 

 Anybody else ever heard this?? 

swarley+sparkles

Yeah, definitely don't take that advice. I have heard of people doing that, but I would not want to be on the opposite end of that kind of relationship. I wouldn't know how to respond either.

If he is not ready, he is not ready. 

victoria+james

Don't trick him... I know people do, but I'm in your same situation and can't imagine that forcing a baby on him would make it a good experience.

beachcomberbride

Yes, I've heard people say this. It's an awful idea. Wait until your hubby is ready. It will make it soooo much more wonderful!

kiki1978

I had a male friend who this happened to. His wife just stopped taking her pills and didn't tell him. I think this is a horrible idea. How can a man trust his wife again if she's so sneaky?

CrazyCupcake52

I agree with PPs, stopping BCP is not a good idea.  Have you actually sat down and had a heart to heart to find out why he's not ready.  I think it would be helpful to have a serious conversation and go over all of your/his feelings so that you at least know where the other stands.  A few months ago, H would just get all awkward any time I mentioned TTC, so I finally sat him down to really talk about it.

joshandpanda

kiki1978:

I think this is a horrible idea. How can a man trust his wife again if she's so sneaky?

This...

my exH cousin was told to do this, and she just blank stared at the person who suggested it...  C'mon really?!? 

SCBride2007

My aunt did this. She told me she was going to do it while we were getting my makeup done for my wedding day. Her husband despises kids-- wants nothing to do with kids, and she's known that from day 1. She thought that he'd "come around" when she had the baby. Nope. They are still together, but she raises this kid 100% by herself. I'm not even sure the dad has ever spent more than 2 minutes with that child. It's so sad. 

kali55

I have a girlfriend who has two boys and really wanted a girl, even though her DH was done with babies (he had 6 at that point) and so she went ahead and stopped birth control and got pregnant (with her girl).  I think it nearly ended their marriage.  

Having a child is HUGE.  I would never deceive someone about that just to get my way.   

magdalina.h

If it bothers you, don't tell people. Yes people do it, but it's very bad advice.

KenziK

My mom has said the same thing to me several times. My DH is not too thrilled with the idea of having a baby anytime soon while I am chomping at the bit, so when I told her about his reservations she made a comment saying that if it comes to the point where he still won't agree, I should just "accidentally" skip my BC. I don't know how she thinks that is appropriate/respectful at all, but that's a horrible idea! Yes, my DH doesn't want a baby right now, so I'm going to just be sneaky and get knocked up and he will resent me and be pissed off, great way to start a life. I guess she did this to my dad with my little sister, I don't get how someone can think that is okay to do.