Tell me I can do this

Blackrose1918

It's been a while since i posted on this board. I gave birth to ds Sept. 13 and have been almost exclusively mobile bumping since then. For some reason this board doesn't show up on the mobile site. I kinda hate that. Anyway a little back story: I didn't have the all-natural birth I wanted, but that's not to say I didn't still feel that I had control. Ds was OP and after 6 hours of hard back labor I got the epi. Unfortunately, because I was then confined to bed we were unable to get ds to flip and I stalled for 9 hours until I could get onto my hands and knees. After that I progressed 4cm in 90 min and he was born after 30 min of pushing. This all matters because I want to become a doula. I had an amazing doula at my birth and would love to give other women the love, support, confidence, and security that she gave me. The question is, will mamas trust me since my birth wasn't totally natural? Can I do this? Should I try?

oliversmommy32912

Absolutely! I had a doula who had an epi and two csections. It didn't bother me. I actually preferred having someone who had been through those things because I would want someone who understand if I ended up with a csection or epi myself! Also not every woman who wants a doula desires an unmedicated birth.... Doulas are not strictly for people who are going natural. I'm studying to be a doula and my first client says she wants an epi. Doesn't bother me, it's her birth not mine!

I think if you feel like you would be a good doula then go for it no matter what your birth history is! Just because you had an epi doesn't mean you don't have valuable experience to bring to the table. I believe strongly that everything happens for a reason and that you will be matched up to clients who are supposed to be with you. Someone may be looking for a doula with your specific birth history. Who knows!

Congrats on the birth of your little one and good luck!

aylafsu88

YES!  Just because you did not have the natural birth you wanted does not mean that you had any less of a birth experience.  Your experience is valuable and gives you another perspective, that of when things do not go according to plan.  If a mother needs and epi or wants one, you can be a wonderful asset to help guide her through this process.  If LO is in an unfavorable position, you know first hand what the mother is experiencing and ways to help turn LO.  There are several doulas in my area who are childless and have never experienced L&D.  However, they are passionate about childbirth and are wonderful, supportive women.  I would trust any of them with my labor experience and do not look down on them for never having experienced L&D. You can do it and women will trust you with their birth!

ncbelle

Of course!!  Doulas are needed for all types of labor and no two births are the same - in other words, your birth experience doesn't define your ability to relate to women in labor.  In fact, I've known doulas who were doulas before they ever gave birth.

What would matter to me in choosing a doula would be finding someone who was a mesh with my personality, was well educated about birth (and supportive of whatever my birth choices happen to be - after all, some mamas hire a doula for a planned c-section) and who was knowledgable about ways to support a laboring mama. 

Mrs E in Oregon

Yes, yes, and yes! The point of using a doula is not to have a perfect birth, it is to have an advocate for the best birth possible. That may be at home with zero complications and interventions, it may be a scheduled c-section. It will never look the same from woman to woman and from birth to birth. A doula will help with each decision as it is necessary. You may be sitting next to a woman as her birth partner/advocate during her c-section or helping a woman nurse her baby born in her own bath tub. You are no less her advocate because you had meds during your labor than a women who has never had children, has had a c-section or lost a baby. Yours will be just one of the births that you will witness and learn from.

Good luck, you're very needed in today's medical community!!!

Blackrose1918

Thank you all so much. The support and encouragement was more than I expected and nearly brought me to tears. I think I'll blame the new mommy hormones on that one I'm nervous, but feel that I've found a calling, and I"m looking forward to the journey.

Annaeliz84

You can do this!  I know I would hire a doula who didn't go natural!  Sometimes things just go that way.  I would be glad to know that if I ended up needing one my doula wouldn't judge me.  My biggest fear isn't failing to go natural, it's that people who knew that's what I wanted would judge me for failing, and a doula who needed one herself would ease that fear completely!