invitations not out yet, and making me nervous

FutureMrsTowns

so, my baby shower is going to be January 12th, and my host hasn't even figured out where it's going to be since her house is too small, which means she hasn't even sent out the invitations. I've tried to be as helpful as I can in suggesting locations and offering my help since I know it's not easy to be in charge of hosting a party right after the holiday season, but she keeps telling me not to worry about it, but I AM worrying about it at this point.my husband is in the military and there are quite a few people that he needs to hand deliver invitations to because they have asked us to not send them to their mailing address(it takes FOREVER to get to them), and everyone is going to start leaving for the holidays starting on December 15th, and after that we don't get home until after Christmas at which point others will leave anf not get home until January 10th, so essentially if they haven't received the invitation by December 14th, there's a chance we wont see them again until two days before the shower is supposed to be!

I don't want to be demanding or rude or anything, but I had asked her to have the invitations out by thanksgiving so that people could roll the shopping into their holiday shopping, but that obviously didn't happen, and I'm not sure what I can/should say to her ... any suggestions? wwyd?

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Cranang

I'd leave it alone.  It's still like 6 weeks away.  You wanted the invites out by Thanksgiving...almost two months in advance??  For a baby shower?  That's ridiculous, even given the circumstances.  And "roll the shopping into the holiday shopping"...PLEASE.  People know you're pregnant.  They'll get you a gift if they want to.  Your friend is doing something nice for you by throwing you a shower.  You just need to roll with it...if it turns out that only 10 people are there, then so be it.

wittyschaffy

Let your host do the hosting and sit back and enjoy.  This isn't your party to plan and if you try to micromanage it, I can guarantee there will be feelings hurt.  Just roll with it and stop telling the host what to do.

FutureMrsTowns

three weeks seems like very little notice to me, especially right after the holidays. The bump suggests 6 weeks, guess that i should relax though, I'm not trying to micromanage, I just have lots of friends asking about it and know that getting notice during the holidays is going to be hectic with all of the people who will be out of town. .

cmhicklin

FutureMrsTowns:

three weeks seems like very little notice to me, especially right after the holidays. The bump suggests 6 weeks, guess that i should relax though, I'm not trying to micromanage, I just have lots of friends asking about it and know that getting notice during the holidays is going to be hectic with all of the people who will be out of town. .

The only invites I have ever gotten more than 3 weeks in advance have been for weddings.

Just tell your friends what you do know, and that they will be receiving invites.

Shel79

My shower is going to be on January 5, and my host hasn't even asked me for a guest list yet. . .  I'm not worrying about it.  I figure that we have enough to worry about right now, and I have to trust my host to take care of the shower stuff! 

Cranang

FutureMrsTowns:

three weeks seems like very little notice to me, especially right after the holidays. The bump suggests 6 weeks, guess that i should relax though, I'm not trying to micromanage, I just have lots of friends asking about it and know that getting notice during the holidays is going to be hectic with all of the people who will be out of town. .

 If your friends are asking you, why don't you just tell them the date then?  Then they know.  Boom.  Problem solved.

And if I got an invite 6 weeks in advance to a baby shower, I'd laugh and then forget about it.

a13049

You've got time. We are sending a handful of our invites out to family who are planning on travelingearly, but will wait till 4 weeks before my shower date for the rest. If my sis waits till 3 weeks It will be fine. At two weeks I would worry a little more. If people ask, and you have a date, then let them know its on such and such date.

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ggatlanta

3 - 4 weeks before is plenty of time, so you are not nearly late yet. I might be a little concerned about the lack of venue, since invitations ought to go out by the end of next week. Still, there is enough time, since there's nothing wrong with waiting until the last minute, as long as you know when the last minute is.

As far as gift-shopping goes, I wouldn't worry. Close friends who want to shop the holiday sales will do so regardless of their receipt of the invitation. If they love you enough to trouble with bargain-hunting, they love you enough to remember your gift regardless.

rpalen29

3-4 weeks is plenty of notice. If your worried about people being busy that day; i would send them a holiday card, and just tell them the date and invites will be sent out by Christmas. IMO, I wouldn't shop during the holidays for someones baby shower gift. too hectic, i already hate shopping as it is, and it takes up closet space that could be used for family members gifts.

Cranang

rpalen29:

3-4 weeks is plenty of notice. If your worried about people being busy that day; i would send them a holiday card, and just tell them the date and invites will be sent out by Christmas. IMO, I wouldn't shop during the holidays for someones baby shower gift. too hectic, i already hate shopping as it is, and it takes up closet space that could be used for family members gifts.

Wait, you're suggesting that she send someone a Christmas card that says "MERRY CHRISTMAS!  Oh by the way, I'm having a party where you'll need to buy me a present on January 10.  Can't wait for you to be there!"

TACKY. 

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rhubarb123

6 weeks out is for a wedding not a shower.  A shower invites needs 3 weeks...maybe 4.  I wouldn't worry about it.  If there are people asking or those that you know will be traveling just send them an email to give them a heads up that the invite is coming (and the date).  Your hostess said not to worry about logistics (place, etc) so don't.  Let her handle it.

The_Jen626

I always mail out invites for showers or parties exactly one month before.  I'm a planner and that is what works for me.  So if the party is January 5th, I mail them on December 5th. I think 3-4 weeks is fine, but it is annoying to me when I get an invite with less than 3 weeks notice, as I have a busy calendar and I don't like to double book myself.

Have your DH just tell his friends the date, and they can write it on their calendar at that point. 

srheflin91

The_Jen626:

I always mail out invites for showers or parties exactly one month before.  I'm a planner and that is what works for me.  So if the party is January 5th, I mail them on December 5th. I think 3-4 weeks is fine, but it is annoying to me when I get an invite with less than 3 weeks notice, as I have a busy calendar and I don't like to double book myself.

Have your DH just tell his friends the date, and they can write it on their calendar at that point. 

 

This. I also come from a military family and live in a military town as well. Generally 3-4 weeks is plenty of time. With my job, 3 weeks is the average for requesting a day off, but sometimes we can do it within 2 weeks before. Don't stress yourself out, just relax and have faith that your host will take care of everything ^__^