Pregnant after a Preemie

Lalekap

Hi Ladies,

Just looking for some advice...  I am currently pregnant and have an 18 mon. daughter who was born at 33 weeks. The previous pregnancy was very complicated (ruptured membrane at 24 weeks etc...) due to a very random and freak occurrence that is not an issue this pregnancy (TRAP sequence).  We just went public with our good news (due early June) and everyone has been very positive and supportive.  However, a cousin of my husbands called me and she was very excited but then said 'wow, if I were you and went through what you did I would NEVER get pregnant again.'  I was so taken back I had no idea what to say to her.  I spoke to another high risk friend who said that I should prepare myself for comments like this.  Has this happened to anyone else?  What did you say? 

JuliaJAG

I'm actually amazed I haven't gotten comments like these... it took us 9 years to have our first surviving baby, and DH and I are 40 now but wanted another baby. We were shocked to find out we were expecting again only five months after our 29-weeker was born, and didn't break the news outside the family until about 18 weeks (I'm 25 weeks now). Maybe we avoided the rude comments because we were so far along when we announced? Not sure, but I'm sorry you had to hear a comment like that.

KatFCo

We didn't get those comments, but after DD was born we had a lot of people ask if we were going to have another one. When I announced I was pregnant with DS, some people asked if I was nervous this time around. I was nice about it, but in my head I was thinkiing, "Of course I'm nervous! What kind of idiot wouldn't be scared out of her mind right now?!":

There are two responses to that kind of statement. 1) you can just politely ignore it a la Miss Manners or 2) you can respond in a somewhat cool and offended tone, "Well, I'm glad it's me who's pregnant and not you, then."

Unfortunately, some people don't see that preemies leave scars long after they leave the hospital. They think it no longer hurts once the child is doing well.