Anybody go through a separation before divorce?

UCONNBride

Hi,
My husband told me when I was 12 weeks pregnant that he didn't love me anymore and wanted a divorce. My baby is now 3 months but older child is almost 4. We have stayed in the same house but I wouldn't say had much of a relationship. Now he is moving out for a few months as a trial separation. He doesn't want to go straight to divorce. Any one get back together after being separated? Also any advice about how to tell 4 year old that daddy is moving out:

DarthNBJenni

Yes, though my state requires a legal separation of one year minimum before a petition for divorce can be filed. It seems like he already made his decision saying that he no longer loves you and wants to live alone (which I read as do what he wants and bang other people). I'd go ahead and file if you can. 

EASwimmer

In IL you can sign a petition to waive the separation period. I went away and filed. I didn't really prep the kids that they were staying at daddy's. They just went with it. It was hard and my DS had some sleep regression. It was hard cause he still has a hard time vocalizing his thoughts and emotions

GPGIRLY

I am in my 60 days right now...then another 60 since we had a child together.

PrettyInPearls23

Are you talking about a "required" separation as in what your state requires, or one that the two of you have decided on?

 My XH gave me the whole "I don't love you anymore" crap too and wanted a trial separation too. Long story short, 4 months later I got sick of his never ending games and filed for divorce. We had a 6 month waiting period until our divorce could be finalized, but that was it.

 I personally don't know of anyone who has gone through a trial separation and gotten back together. Ever.

lookame3639

I went through a lengthy separation, moreso because neither of us had money to file divorce. He went off and had a baby with a little girl and has since gone through girls like water. I have moved on with an actual man who has been the main father figure. I, like others have stated, do not think it's as trial as you think it is. Once someone has decided even entertained the idea of divorce then the desition has basically been made.

Jessie619217

I am basically in the same position as you. I have a 4 month old son and my husband decided when I was 9 months pregnant that he did not love me and he started an affair with another woman. We are currently separated on our own, nothing legal. I moved 1500 miles away to live with family. He hasn't seen his son in over 2 months, but will be visiting in a month and wants to now discuss working things out because he realized he misses us and may have been a bit drastic. I don't know what will happen once we see each other/talk. Just wanted you to know we have hope still and maybe you guys can too. I have been through all the emotions, wanted to file myself at one point. Just listen to your gut and do what you think is best for your family. Let him move out, and maybe it will help both of you decide what you truly want. Try and open the comminication and see if he is interested in counseling, but that may take several months...it took my husband a while to realize what he wasdoing to me and his son was not normal actions for himself and he knew he needed the help of a therapist.

UCONNBride

Thank you! This isn't a required separation. We are doing it on our own. We will see. Even if he wanted to come back he would have to change A LOT.

hopingforababyin09

I went through a similar situation last December. My now ex husband told me that he had been cheating since we got married 5 years ago. He promised that he was going to stop and try working on things with me to keep our family together, but all he was doing was doing was lying to me about everything and waiting for me to give birth to our son. About a month ofter my son was born I found letters and cards from the "other woman" (which turned out the be one of my friends). I decided to leave him and move into an apartment a hour away. I moved the end of May and we decided to divorce in July and was then the divorce was final in October.

Our daughter was 2 years old at this time. It was really hard to explain to her why we weren't living with daddy anymore. The first night that was the hardest, but now we have been living without her daddy and she is doing much better.

Just stay strong and everything will fall into place.