You cant keep him in a bubble forever...

starrdiva211

...was the response I got from one of my best friends. I know it wasnt her intent to mean or come out that way but man...it kinda stung.

When I had my breakdown on Wednesday, she was the one I was on the phone with. She suggested that on Saturday I pack up the LO and we have lunch (to get me out of the house and be around people). I told I would see because I had to see if the beau would be home. Well, The Beau already has plans and i told her that I just was not comfortable bring my LO into a restaurant where there could be a ton of people...even if we could find a corner where it would just be the five of us (her husband and 13 yr old son would tag along as well).  

I had to breakdown that it is RSV season, that he is still building up his immune system and he has only been home for a week and a half. I know that he has to get some germs to build up his immune system but I do not want another trip to the ICU if I could avoid it.

I had to remind my mother about the issues of having a preemie and why I was having a mini panic attack when he and I were in the Social Security office (so many people coughing and hacking ugh). 

The life of a preemie mom right?

 

cfitz16

People don't get it unless they have been through it.  Even I didn't fully get it a first.  My peditrician was like, "baby goes to no parties" (It was Christmas time when he came home from the NICU after a month).  I was so disappointed at first "none?"  but then he spelled it out.  Other folks that haven't even been through that are not going to get it.  You just have to focus on what the big picture is: and that is a healthy child.

ahollo02

BostonKisses2:

You did the right thing by keeping him home.  Those comments are annoying, but unless people have been through it they don't really get it.

 This

kelly321

Comments like that made me really angry. I wasn't trying to keep her in a bubble forever. I was trying to keep her away from potential sources of illness that could send her back to the NICU. Now, 19 months later, I don't care if the kid next to her is hacking up a lung (well, maybe I care a little, but no more than I get annoyed if someone is sick and sitting next to me). It's not about being a helicopter mom for the rest of their lives. It's about being vigilant at a time when they're extremely vulnerable. You did the right thing and if your friend says something else about it, send her a link on the dangers of RSV in preemies.

IncogNeato

That's so frustrating. Can you use the "My pediatrician said absolutely not." line? My LO was a late term preemie so not nearly as at risk as many on the board, but my usually very laid back pedi made it very clear to DH and I that she should NOT go near groups of people and that we had to be totally strict about her coming into contact with potentially sick people for the first few months.

I say blame it on the pedi and if she doesn't understand that well too bad for her. I think a new mom (any new mom but especially a preemie mom) has the right to say that they won't risk their newborn getting sick. 

starrdiva211

Thanks everyone! And Curling, I think I am going to use the "immune deficiency" line.

I did end up going to lunch with her (my beau had a change of plans). He asked me again how long would he have to be couped up. I told her at least until after his second round of shots and even then it may not be a no go. 

Her husband seemed to be more understanding about the situation...

kelly321

starrdiva211:

Thanks everyone! And Curling, I think I am going to use the "immune deficiency" line.

I did end up going to lunch with her (my beau had a change of plans). He asked me again how long would he have to be couped up. I told her at least until after his second round of shots and even then it may not be a no go. 

Her husband seemed to be more understanding about the situation...

Ugh. How about: "If by cooped up you mean kept away from situations in which there's a high risk of someone carrying an infectious virus or bacteria that could kill him with his compromised immune system, well, then until this first RSV season passes and he has his basic shots behind him. Thankfully, he's a baby so he doesn't care whether he spends the winter warm and cozy at home or being dragged around town so I can go on fun coffee dates with friends."

mnb311

You did the ring thing.  I didn't take my preemie out anywhere until after his 2 months shots, and he was a summer baby..